Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- I know it won't all be standing ovations. - Certainly not for you, my dear.
SHOROFSKY: Noise? BRUNO: He'd sound electric.
Oh, God, Doris!
Mulholland, Shirley. I'm all fixed up. I filled in all your papers and all.
If I know that you know that I'm
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
They wanted his fucking ass, man. They wanted to nail his ass.
[PIANO PLAYS]
She's a disaster.
I don't want them laughing.
They were the greatest actors in the world. Nobody could understand them.
How's your old man doing?
We're gonna be all over the charts one of these days.
I don't see Dr. Golden anymore. You know that.
An actor must develop an acute sense memory...
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
...he got bothered.
[HORNS TOOTING]
...but she has to think of her work.
- So you want to be an actor, huh? - Yeah, sure, I want to be an actor.
That's what everyone told me.
You're next, you hear me?
- Where's all the sweat, Lisa? - I'm working on it.
Why can't he play piccolo? Something sensible. Or the accordion, like Papa did.
[GROANING]
- Take advantage of it. - I promised Montgomery!
- You did it. - 1000 words. I counted them too.
And you, you need exposure. So you're going.
- And act, and play an instrument. - All three?
- The Best of Playboy isn't a book report. - It's reading, ain't it?
- So? Life comes down hard. - She just took a real bad dump, kid.
Montgomery Clift and James Dean slurred their words.
"Wel... Wel... Welcome to...
- You will not keep me down... - Leave me alone!
...and plastic surgeons could stay in business.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
Speed.
[SINGING] I sing the body electric
[PIANO PLAYS]
[ORGAN PLAYS]
[PIANO PLAYS]
- But I know it enjoys me - Hey, Bunsky.
- Oh. - Or the first time I fell in love.
I'm God, see? And God is Puerto Rican, you got that? Now.
I'm laughing at clouds So dark up above
- I didn't know she had a husband. - He's sick, Leroy.
- But I am dedicated. - I'm sorry, Lisa. I don't see it.
...they had to say that he was depressed...
Thanks.
I got three sisters, see?
You don't need anybody else.
You want them laughing with you, not at you.
Melodic dictation theory, keyboard harmony, piano, piano literature...
I suppose that a fuck is out of the question?
BRUNO: Be careful.
Sun appears
...how they gotta have a father. Love has nothing to do with it.
...the wo... Won...
Study it. Try to remember it so you can...
[HONKING]
I have a lot of friends named Doris, and they are none of those things.
I've never shown
I understand.
[FOOTSTEPS ECHOING]
Help me need you
...tomorrow, Madison Square Garden.
...and work on re-creating emotional states:
They're very fancy, huh? I'll wait till you get inside.
- Of 10 million stars - Of 10 million stars
...to all you virgins!
[ENGLISH SDH]
Now, you either hang on or hang up. All right?
[SOBBING]
Maybe I didn't say it right, but you been down hard on me since day one.
...and he'd have string quartets coming out of his fingers.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, right. Doris. - But Doris is enough.
I'm scared I won't be able to live up to their expectations of me.
You're crazy.
You're full of rage and pain and love. Not just jokes. You're an original.
I don't get it.
Is hard alone
- But I came to dance. - You have to sing too.
5'7"?
I didn't want to come here anyway. This school sucks.
You're flunking out.
There's a word for that, isn't there?
We made a mistake. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
I see we have a few amateurs in the audience.
- I thought you were a professional. - I am.
SHIRLEY: You're not into high school. LEROY: I'm into dancing.
You've done me a favor, shithead.
It's just a jump to the left.
- This isn't a joke. - I got lots of jokes.
GIRL: it says "performing arts." - You don't have to do everything.
Tonight is Gail's birthday.
- He smiles at everyone. - Yeah, but he winks too.
It was a time when I realized something about myself.
Do your friends hear it?
You meet people. That's what counts.
You have to arrive earlier to get dressed and warmed up.
My mother was French and very beautiful.
...of dancing all the classical roles before I'm 21.
I was Doris Finsecker, when you were a senior at P.A.
- I did a pilot for a series. - I didn't see it.
How do you do?
Hi.
It's just the things that happen to me
That is the meanest high there is. That beats dope. That beats sex.