Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Fucking lingerer man
...my chillastic couch, and chill out.
Stuff your sorries is a sack
I ain't fuckin retarded
Look what I’m wearing. Kimono dawg
Put your guns down. Nobody shoots.
Fucking lingerer
Fuck Joe Flacco Man
Only 10 bones more for a quarter.
I found a bloody fork.
Oh, yeah. Me and my bubbe.
Sounds like a very nice boy.
Zelensky to the EU and the West
- Stop! - Cheater!
All right, everybody be cool, man. Be cool.
Boring people to death on the radio.
...so you would stay off mine. Get off the phone.
What the fuck's the buzzer for anyway?
We need to know about your source.
Are you kidding?! You have the coolest job on earth!
Like, on her?
I'm not a student, so I can say whatever I want...
That's cool. Does she like to smoke weed?
- Shake my fucking hand. - Shake my hand. Okay.
...you can prioritize your life, and you are it, okay?
Business, for the business man!
You didn't say anything back.
Teamwork
Ugh, I wish
And for you to come into my house...
How can I explain this to you differently
Get your foot out of there.
Herpes!
- Yeah? - Right here.
- Really? Thanks man. - No problem.
- Asshole. - I'm sorry, man.
...where Angie has a lot of things.
It’s my cat birthday today
There's one more. I know you'll find it. Take it.
- Did it work? - On three!
Shit.
We were supposed to be at Red's at noon, man. What if he's gone?
Dale?
Flush.
- I didn't say anything about Percocet. - What the fuck?
Well Lookie Here, Mr. Folgers
-You know you gonna die right? -Yeah
Wake up.
You assholes do exactly what I say...
I bet they can't even triangulate those things.
Okay, I'll take a quarter.
Are you on that meth shit again?
...and the Super Red Especial Snowflake met and had a baby.
I Wanna Live In Here.
hands down the dopest (poem) I've ever smoked
- Yeah, but don't call it that. - Yeah, that's not what it's called.
One, two...
Except, if you're a dick your whole life...
Just don't. Don't...
Oh, man. We made it, guys.
Wake up. Get up. Wake up.
Beautiful. What's it called?
It might sound weird at first, but just listen.
- I'm in. - Come on!
You're great, and you're funny...
Oh, nice.
Wassup son?
You're welcome.
hi laura i'm josh williams. hey josh.
Fucking lingerer. - Yeah, totally.
Hi.
Yeah, no problem, no problem.
I think, “Yes, I'm gonna help you, Dale”...
We can tie it to an animal, be a diversion.
I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird.
You know what I'm coming back with? With a gun.
...with their eyes as red as the devil's dick. You're busted.
Hi, there. Are you Sandra Danby?
He put a couple of moves on me.
I just know they'll like you, that's all.
- Can I have my jacket back, please? - Yeah.
For real?
...and then tomorrow we could just, like, continue?
Hi, Ted.
- It sounds pretty good. - It sounds real.
All right, man.
Sorry!
The guy who designed the Golden Gate Bridge.
I saw them kill him.
- Really? - Maybe it's the same guy.
Honey, we're at the table. No one's going to leave the table.
- Gonna get to the bottom of this shit. - Stop!
- Get your leg out of there. Seriously. - I can't.
Let's get up and go get Saul back. Use it.
Dale. You know what? Drug dealers... Let me tell you something.
- My God, are you okay? - I'm good. I'm fine. I'm great.
You got it. So, listen, we'll be chilling by noon.
We should hit up the casino again. It's been a while.
You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, Good hunter
I
You can't even tell.
Hey, Saul. I came back for you, bro.
He sent two guys over here, Budlofsky and Matheson.
Is it uh huh or uh uh
lolo uhhuh
- It's not bad, huh? - If I close my eyes, it sounds like...
Fuck John Cusack Man
- Noon it is, bromosexual. - Nice.
What did that thing tell you? What are you doing?
Fuck. I'm sorry. I thought she'd just go past.
- Call it Banana Boat. - Make sure you leave it at weed too.
Put the pipe down slowly JOE
Don't pay attention to what I'm saying
For now, this is what we're gonna do.
- Pineapple Express. - Pineapple Express.
Was that too much?
I've gotta get to a phone. Come on.
I
Tell him to get away from me!
And meanwhile, that crazy Northern Lights stuff I had...
They say, like, “Don't dip the pen in company ink.”
- Don't worry. Don't tell us what to do. - Inhale it, Chachi. Inhale it.
Who is Red?
...and I would be fantastic right now. Instead of looking like this.
This is the Future.. The future!
You're a fucking idiot. I say that with love.
Time to suck today’s dick. That’s what I’m talking about.
This airflow that comes from Hawaii and Canada.
From what I can tell, you don't notice anything ever.
I should not be in this situation, so fuck you.
Mmm hmm.
I only have, like, 50 bucks. I don't think that'll even buy one ticket.
This was Ant
You told him I was gonna sell Percocet?
Hey, Mrs. Mendelson.
Of course. Hi.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dale!
herpes is for life bro
You fuckhead.
The squirrel'd be up in a tree, they'd think we were.
Fuck you.
We're gonna fucking kill them all.
YA'LL WANNA BUY SOME DRUGS
Oh, Jesus.
This is it, man. This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smoking.
Why didn't you smash it on a rock like a normal person?
Fucking lingerer.
- We each shot several people. - A lot.
This doesn't happen to anyone.
I don't wanna have to do this.
...but I got a lot of feelings.
THOUSAND PARDONS!!!
What an adorable little cop.
You trying to figure out dinner? Fish tacos!
Why don't I just call the Asians and talk to Cheung?
...an Asian guy, in the window, at fucking Ted's house.
That's a good point.
Call me when I can go home.
Yo?'re not dying today, friend.
Ted, you hear him?
Herpes is for life, bro.
MY REACTION WHEN TRUMP TWEETS THREATS IN ALL CAPS
Don't move. What's in your hand?
What the fuck, man?
It's best if you don't know my full name.
What do you gotta say to that?
You okay, man?
Fucking Pete? He was ex-CIA.
- Oh, that sucks. - Yeah.
- Camping? - Yeah.
Out of her vagina. Remember what you did? What did you do?
We can go look at some crazy things on the Internet together.
...but we both can put that behind us like adults.
And like I just feel like a fat dumb fucking stinky ass turd
No, no, no.
You are. You're about to get D'd by the Dale.
The phones. The phones.
What? Fuck James Taylor man.
I don't know. We should get out of the middle of the road. Come on.
What you do is you light all three ends at the same time.
What the fuck was that?
I can't even light this thing on my own.
I don't... Normally he's... That's really weird.
Petty's Waiter