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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
We're trying to do a super cool slow-mo walk.
Motherfucker.
I got it. - Yeah?
- Right. - You got an African-American belly?
My performance? What about yours? You were so in the moment.
Don't need it. Your eyes speak. You seem honest.
Either this ends right now, or it ends with bullets in your skulls.
I wish you were there to read it. Sounds scary in that voice.
The 2 is slow-and-go to the 5. A Sig Alert is bogging down the l-10.
Yeah.
What do you think? Should I beat myself up more?
Hmm. That's great. That makes total sense.
You sneak into his crib at night.
This is a great idea. How do you think they mow this?
And easy, and nothing sexual is even happening here.
Now, listen, I need you to proceed to the Mandrake Hotel.
Weapons tight. Eyes on.
...we've hit a rough patch. He's refusing to cover some of my expenses.
I hope this doesn't sound cocky. I think we're really good at this.
Really? Because Find My iPhone said you weren't at the office.
...they've been kidnapped?
Face, butt, puss
You know, when you're raised by Bert Hanson...
- We'll be as sensitive as Dr. Phil. - I don't know if I can fuck this woman.
- Here we go. - Oh, shit.
He was supposed to be tied up to that chair.
- No. First, the man kidnapped himself. - That's right.
- You're asking if I sucked it? - I know you sucked it.
Did you know that when men are in a coma they can still get an erection?
- Nick? - Oh, well...
Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
Your wife is so understanding and caring.
Big mouth. Nothing behind it.
I'm positive I'm not hearing that right.
But then when Dad called the cops and proved he doesn't give a fuck about me...
Is that Dale?
Boy, it sounds awesome, but there's no way to get it done.
- Don't roll over and die. - You gotta be careful.
You've done plenty, plenty of talking.
- Yeah, but the gun's not loaded, right? - Of course not. Nobody gets hurt, come on.
Boy, I'd love it if you'd stop saying my name.
- Nobody gets hurt. - He is the kid of Bert.
- Okay, but hear us out about festering. - Like you can't have a conversation.
- Room for improvement. - We can do better.
Oh, my God. Goddamn, that was great. Food for the soul.
- What's happening? - Oh, boy.
Right. We wanna handle all the manufacturing
Where do you think she learned it?
- What? - You're the boss. It's sexual harassment.
- They switched pants! - Yeah. They got it.
So we'll rig a bus so that when it goes below 50 miles an hour, it blows up.
...Something that happened to them this week.
...it flows from this place of deep tenderness, you know?
Now, that is the kind of cool shit you have to look forward to.
- Look who's here. - Oh, my gosh. He's talking.
- That couldn't be more annoying. - I'm not trying to be annoying.
- Yes, sir. - Yeah. We are, sir.
- Nobody gets hurt. - I always wanted to make a ransom note.
- What the fuck is that? - You said no idea was a bad idea.
I can't take you to the next scene any better than that. I can't.
- That's a blessing. - Yeah, well, he has triplets.
- All here. Let's go. - Ah!
- It's a bust. - It's locked.
Take, take, take from the people who earn their money honestly.
- Yeah. - Is that what he said?
Not bi?
I love pussy.
This fucking guy took everything from me. Calm down, Dale? No.
That is a lie!
You don't know shit about kidnapping.
Ah, fuck.
Bert has Kurt's phone with our contact information on it.
Call coming in. Roar by Katy Perry.
I didn't wanna say anything, but way better than murder.
Nice. Let's go.
- I'm proud of you. - Thanks, man.
affliction?
- I picked this song to inspire us. - It's not inspiring me.
- Cocks. - Oh, yeah. Well...
- I don't know. It's blocked. - Oh, no.
Well, tell you what, Tiffany. You're hired.
I wanna dig in on the one-time fee because...
I did say handsome fee, right?
...and call the police.
I could pinch-plow. I got a real green thumb.
You're fucking criminals. You've tried to kill your bosses.
I'm gonna call the police and send you to jail.
It is a lot of freight.
Yeah, you brought me back here.
- And I love it. - Yeah.
Do you mean aluminum?
Boy, he shined a light on that, didn't he? That's true. You're absolutely right.
I’m not giving him this. This is a Tag Heuer.
- I was honoring your potential death. - Honoring us?
I'm talking about, you fuck each other to death.
I think I'll take it from here, okay?
- Well, if you'd let me finish... - So you did eat that cock.
- You gotta go? - Yeah.
- Ah, fuck. - Fuck.
We're currently renting.
Hey, there she is. - Boys.
Don't lose the train.
Us Butt, face, puss
50 First Dates Avatar Big Daddy
You talk about how you and your wife fucked and made three potatoes with arms.
What's that, now?
- Check it. - It's the same ringtone, sir.
Get that chair ready. I'm gonna take a tinkle.
- You know, no harm, no foul, right? - Yeah, yeah.
Stop talking. Stop talking.
- Hi, boys. - Oh, hi.
- Wait. What if he's in there? - Oh, yeah.
Her affliction?
I gotta call you back.
I just wanna hear you say it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kim. Kimbo.
Shh, Shh, Shh!
That's a good point. Good point.
Man.
Shit.
Oh, shit.
And take it.
Chugging one after the other. Sometimes double-fisted, just:
But it just water.
Want the marker? Give me $500,000, that's what we need.
Uh, my sex-addiction group met here at 8.
- Shit. - This is the wrong way.
Aren't we dressed as bellhops when we escape with the money?
- This guy doesn't quit. - He's incredibly resilient.
Yeah, get them nice and clean, you son of a bitch.
We need to find someone who can get us our company back.
Oh, great, yeah.
Thanks but no thanks.
I'm willing to make love to her, if that's required.
Is that a Sharpie?
That's how you lose the cops.
- Oh, my God. - Oh, wow.
Give us one second.
opening+to+shark+tale+2004+vhs
- But I won't have this conversation. - Please, I'm Lily Tomlin, if anybody is.
You staying at the hotel, or is this your hotel? You staying here?
- What are you doing? - You're supposed to go under the bridge.
I'm gonna go with a maid.
- Fine, just be quiet. Okay, okay. - Let me just wash them. I'll feel better.
And things didn't shake out too well for you boys.
You know what? You're right. We're not boss material.