Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Hand's cramping up. - Here, let me help.
Well, he's doing well.
- I'll think about my girls. I can get it done.
Wait. Cocks in the machine. What is that?
- It's a choice. - Well...
And then when you, uh, set me free...
...and that is the part where people get caught.
- Take the money and get out. - He's got cool shit.
I am Blanston.
I don't know what thatched hut you grew up in, but this is disgusting.
- He's got bullets. He's got bullets. - He's got bullets? Fucking hell.
We'll see you later. See you Monday. Get out of here.
Oh, this is awesome.
Better than having some strange dude with you.
Kidnapped?
They're not working. They consider this playing.
Are you kidding me? Turn it the other way.
Fifty-fifty chance it's gonna be open.
You know what? How about you fellas show us how this gizmo works?
- Look who's the predator now, bitch. - Wait, Dale. What are you doing?
We just got inside. Let's stay.
And then I need you to proceed north onto Figueroa and await further instructions.
The Blade is in position.
- Hey, all right. There it is. - I got his elbow. Yeah.
No, that was a gift.
I was on the fence.
Well, what's the next part of the plan, Motherfucker?
To throw the cops off if they start snooping
- You. Keys in the car? - Keys are in the car.
- I didn't think that far ahead. - You get even dumber in the mornings.
She told me everything she put you through because of her affliction.
He's gonna help? Okay, I got a notepad. I got a notepad.
- You're enthusiastic and you're unjaded. - And unqualified.
And your fathers had no balls.
Why we even doing this thing?
That's right. You dummy. Don't you know that?
My mom died when I was 4, and, um...
...and just wrestling.
- We lost the wire. - Shit.
- You like to fuck guys. - No. My sex addiction is to ladies.
All I'm asking you to do is finish your own plan but for double the money.
Oh, shit. So, what phone does he have?
Look at those babies. Oh, Dale, they look just like you.
Right, but he's not super young.
Then we'll all roll.
It's the only thing you went in there to buy.
After Kurt's little performance, there's no way he's gonna call the cops.
So, what do the doctors say? Am I gonna die?
- How's that? - Uh, do you have a scarier S than that?
Dude, get your fucking head out of my crotch.
- What's that laugh about? - I just said good luck.
If we don't come up with a ransom plan that you love, we pull the plug.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. Simmer down. Kidnapping was your idea, remember?
If we're switching positions, she'll lose track of who's where.
- Get them off. Get them over. - No.
I'll tell you right now. I'm sold. I wanna invest.
It's called her vagina, Nick.
Dale's gonna help out. Thank you, buddy.
Kim.
Dad, what are you talking about? We never make this kind of deal.
You can't roll over and die when your back's against the wall.
Mm-hm. - That's my code name, Nick.
- Right. - So beautiful.
- We're back on him, sir. - How do you know it's him?
- I'm gonna go to this light right here. - If you've gotta go, you gotta go.
Can you imagine if someone stole one of them?
Are we talking about him or Predator? I'm terrible with metaphors.
Hold on. Before we kick this thing off, can I just say something?
Disguised. Armed. Dangerous.
All right, we're back in 20 seconds.
So I drive to the Staples Center.
You're gonna hear me roar Nice.
No, I don't think I'd call the cops. I couldn't take that risk.
....
No, that's...
- You what? - You did what?
It's good to have a gay friend in your group too, you know?
Hmm.
Kurt, you gotta stop hiring hot unqualified women.
Um...
Wait. Shut up, shut up, shut up. This is Stacy.
- Come on, man. - Easy.
Aw, that looks bad. That looks bad.
That was bullshit.
- Dale's little boys. - Girls, Kurt.
...till all this shit goes by.
It was a blow job. It was a blow job, only. Didn't fuck her.
Oh, God. That is nice.
The plan did not account for a locked door?
I can make sure Dad pays up.
You were here this whole time with a cell phone...
Funny Things WHERE'S GOD WHEN I'M S-SCARED? (1993) GOD WANTS ME TO FORGIVE THEM!?! (1994)
Jumanji
But we got you.
Oh, shit. Are you kidding?
Well, he's got them on his mind, clearly.
Hey, hey. If you're coming in for the morning grind...
- I can't save my marriage from prison. - No, you can't.
- Got it. - Why would I wanna be the soul?
That's what's going on.
And don't think we don't know you got the law with you. That's something we do know.
- Turn it off. - I'm trying to. It's broken or something.
This illustrates my point, idiots. We need to find somebody who's legitimate.
- Whoa, Kill Shot? - Yeah, I wanna be Kill Shot.
See, you can't have this both ways.
- Inside a woman. - Meeting adjourned.
You said kidnapping. I was like, What a weird word.
...or the little boy dies.
It's all just material. Electrons, protons.
Honey, no one's head's going in my lap. It's
With game-time traffic, he could be here in less than 10 minutes. How we doing?
It might be your acting.
- ...with the wand with the soap. - It's got everything in one thing.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
It doesn't reach. Should it reach?
Bridge is still clear, chief.
- Yeah. - We're all in trouble.
Please, welcome Nick, Kurt and Dale.
Can I talk to you outside, please?
- He's dead. - We should've stayed cogs.
And we're back in five, four...
- You're not gonna pull this stunt again. - What stunt?
He does have klan eyes
Ha! There they are. There are my shower buddies.
Save me a shake.
That's them. Those three, they tortured me, then said they were gonna kill my dad.
By the time the cops know they've been had...
That's top of the line. That's like the Cadillac of plungers.
- You got kittens? - Surprising.
See that space? That empty space above the fireplace?
You're the best.
Why would you start production...
Majestic, in position.
...your options are...
In these moments, it's more impactful to be still.
All-time shittiest idea you guys ever had. Can't believe you talked me into this.
How do you kidnap somebody without them knowing...
bought the company is keeping us on to run it.
From a legal standpoint...
We'll come back, don't do anything rash.
I would marry Ed Helms, fuck Bradley Cooper and kill Zach Galifianakis.
- Give me your credit card. - Good.
Ah. Oy, oy, oy.
- Oh, fuck. - What the fuck is that?
Well, I can't stop anybody from brainstorming.
Whatever makes you feel comfortable... Well, there goes a shirt. All right.
- I'll write that down. - Can we get his contact info?
Through no fault of our own, we found ourselves in another pickle.
- Yeah. - Well, that's productive, though.
It is smart. It is mad creative.
They tried to peg me as a child sex offender. It was total bullshit.
Yes, Mr. Rex.
Wait, whoa. You can't just walk up to the guy's front door.
- Boy, that was predictable. No, thanks. - We're good.