Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Did I ask you out?
Hey, thanks for staying and heIping me cIean up.
Great cIass.
I may do a Iot of stupid shit...
Wiccan?
It's for work. I'm trying to expand my cIient base.
I don't care if he said you were his favorite femaIe...
You are so pregnant.
But maybe he did caII and I didn't get the message.
AII right, Mary, I'II taIk to you soon. Thank you.
I didn't know.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
You're so stupid, just Iike dog poo.
-Huh? -I, um...
Hi, you've reached Ben's cell phone. Please leave--
But it's not just texting, it's e-maiI. It's voicemaiI. It's snaiI maiI.
-Yup, good. -Bye.
-Bye. -See you.
Because if you are so IegitimateIy happy, honestIy...
Never try to trim your own bangs.
[PHONE RINGING]
ShouId you caII back? No, absoIuteIy not.
No. It's a Iaminate.
Sure I can't interest you in a IittIe beef and broccoIi?
...to go with his fifth consecutive hour of the goIf network.
I am so into you.
You're getting a Iot of bids on this pIace?
She said, ''Either we get married or we break up.''
Yes.
So call me back. Bye-bye.
I think the shirt you're wearing now is probabIy more you.
-How's she doing? -She's getting married.
...to say about cinnamon bIends?
Wait, wait, wait. Gigi.
CONOR: Yeah. Come on in.
First of aII, I am not ''women,'' I'm just one.
Okay, gotta go.
Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popuIar with women?
yes george i-i-i ike where's ike? at home faye. but tomorrow he'll be at harvey norman.
You were right.
-Leave a message, I'll get back to you. -Notes.
You have to be kidding me.
No.
Smart, sexy, funny and cute.
Now, I know I don't need to teII any of you...
You know, you may be the best friend I've ever had.
What? Why?
Is that Iike young, hip, gay coupIes or something Iike that?
But we're kissing right now.
Or an appIe martini?
BiII CIinton wouId be smart and sexy.
...if a guy doesn't caII me, I wouId Iike to reserve the right...
Yup - I know how ya FEEL
OnIy if you do. I mean, if you need to get going, I totaIIy....
Have you been married?
If she pops a zit in front of you...
Because I think some of your guys might be smoking.
Because you told me not to call you if it was my class. It was.
I thought I shouId just come up with some reaIIy great excuse to get over here.
This guy Conor and I have onIy been out one time--
-No, I didn't. -Shit.
...implores us to wait for it.
Good night.
Not a bIack shirt. I see it. It's not bIack.
It wasn't untiI he died...
Yeah. ''Nice meeting you'' at the beginning of the date, that's normaI.
Yeah.
Yeah. SmoIdering but sensitive.
I MEAN, I LIKE YOU THE WAY I LIKE BASSET HOUNDS... SOMETHING PATHETIC ABOUT THEM. YOU JUST WANNA CHEER THEM UP.
Okay, what were the categories again?
Wha--? Wait, what does that even matter?
I don't do this.
One, two....
A Iot of time to work on the pIace.
I don't know. I mean, Iook at Becca.
A wide interpretation of the word ''meeting.''
First they were smaII. At first when I caIIed, he said, ''Good to hear from you.''
Nice. I'm gonna use that.
Yes, of course I wiII. Yes.
So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't Iike me?
What's going on?
...to take the whoIe marriage thing off the tabIe compIeteIy?
MAN: Hear, hear. WOMAN: That's sweet.
That's just the way it is, you know?
No, I know. This is about Jarrad.
Great.
Look...
Yeah, that's it.
Yes.
I hear you.
No, I'm taIking about reaIIy doing this. Like a fuII-on reIationship.
Hey, Anna. What's up?
...have you guys been smoking...
I Iove Janine.
Let me teII you something. PeopIe who get married are not to be trusted.
Bye.
Conor, you are the Liza MinneIIi of reaI estate.
She's interested, he's cIearIy not.
I don't understand why peopIe wanna get married.
...you wouIdn't feeI the need to make a big show out of it.
...just to get rejected by seven different technoIogies.
...why can't we be friends?
Hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink.
What? You can't even teII the difference.
-You are married? MAN: I am married.
you can't say that in public! no "toxic face". ok? well i'll fire GM first! yes you all good?
God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat.
No. AbsoIuteIy not.
So he divorced his wife...
-Did you just say ''dry hump''? -Yeah.
...that puts my headshots on bus benches and grocery carts.
Just say no.
Okay. Bye.
No, it is. It is, I've changed.
-Honey? -Yeah.
She's so busy organizing her sister's funeraI, I think she must be--
I knew there had to be some reason why he was spending that time with you.
So we're friends.
ALEX: Nash, you piece of shit. Come on. -Maybe I shouId just--
I'm totaIIy, totaIIy fried.
BEN: Take a shower. Hey. -What? Hi.
-Hey. -Hey.
Okay. That's fine. He's gonna caII.
...breathing through a stoma...
I know where my Iife is going, and I want you to go with me.
Wait.
God, this reminds me of where I grew up.
I assure you this Iate-payment thing wiII never happen again.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good. -Oh, good.
No, I'm good.
Then Anastasia toId me her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning...
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
...since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham.
...when do aII the fabuIous peopIe arrive?
...who invited me in for a white-wine spritzer.
Our Funky FaII promotion. You're our 1 000th customer this month.
You're aIone, AIex.