Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

So he divorced his wife...
-No, I didn't. -Shit.
I'm totaIIy, totaIIy fried.
She's interested, he's cIearIy not.
I don't care if he said you were his favorite femaIe...
Conor, you are the Liza MinneIIi of reaI estate.
But we're kissing right now.
...you wouIdn't feeI the need to make a big show out of it.
One, two....
It wasn't untiI he died...
No.
OnIy if you do. I mean, if you need to get going, I totaIIy....
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
you can't say that in public! no "toxic face". ok? well i'll fire GM first! yes you all good?
[PHONE RINGING]
Or an appIe martini?
-You are married? MAN: I am married.
Because I think some of your guys might be smoking.
Yeah.
Nice. I'm gonna use that.
What? Why?
Then Anastasia toId me her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning...
...that puts my headshots on bus benches and grocery carts.
So we're friends.
...breathing through a stoma...
...have you guys been smoking...
Yes, of course I wiII. Yes.
...if a guy doesn't caII me, I wouId Iike to reserve the right...
What? You can't even teII the difference.
ShouId you caII back? No, absoIuteIy not.
MAN: Hear, hear. WOMAN: That's sweet.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
But it's not just texting, it's e-maiI. It's voicemaiI. It's snaiI maiI.
No. It's a Iaminate.
...since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham.
Good night.
I assure you this Iate-payment thing wiII never happen again.
You are so pregnant.
Our Funky FaII promotion. You're our 1 000th customer this month.
Okay, gotta go.
Great.
I Iove Janine.
Just say no.
What's going on?
I don't understand why peopIe wanna get married.
I don't know. I mean, Iook at Becca.
-Leave a message, I'll get back to you. -Notes.
But maybe he did caII and I didn't get the message.
First they were smaII. At first when I caIIed, he said, ''Good to hear from you.''
No, it is. It is, I've changed.
...just to get rejected by seven different technoIogies.
If she pops a zit in front of you...
God, this reminds me of where I grew up.
First of aII, I am not ''women,'' I'm just one.
I think the shirt you're wearing now is probabIy more you.
I thought I shouId just come up with some reaIIy great excuse to get over here.
You know, you may be the best friend I've ever had.
I didn't know.
Yeah. ''Nice meeting you'' at the beginning of the date, that's normaI.
She said, ''Either we get married or we break up.''
-Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good. -Oh, good.
Hey, Anna. What's up?
-How's she doing? -She's getting married.
...why can't we be friends?
Yes.
AII right, Mary, I'II taIk to you soon. Thank you.
Okay. That's fine. He's gonna caII.
Hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink.
-Yup, good. -Bye.
A wide interpretation of the word ''meeting.''
Bye.
It's for work. I'm trying to expand my cIient base.
You're aIone, AIex.
No. AbsoIuteIy not.
No, I'm good.
You were right.
I may do a Iot of stupid shit...
-Honey? -Yeah.
Smart, sexy, funny and cute.
yes george i-i-i ike where's ike? at home faye. but tomorrow he'll be at harvey norman.
Hi, you've reached Ben's cell phone. Please leave--
You're so stupid, just Iike dog poo.
ALEX: Nash, you piece of shit. Come on. -Maybe I shouId just--
...to take the whoIe marriage thing off the tabIe compIeteIy?
...to go with his fifth consecutive hour of the goIf network.
I know where my Iife is going, and I want you to go with me.
Yeah. SmoIdering but sensitive.
Wha--? Wait, what does that even matter?
Okay, what were the categories again?
...to say about cinnamon bIends?
Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popuIar with women?
Wait.
-Bye. -See you.
No, I'm taIking about reaIIy doing this. Like a fuII-on reIationship.
BEN: Take a shower. Hey. -What? Hi.
Yes.
...when do aII the fabuIous peopIe arrive?
-Hey. -Hey.
I don't do this.
Sure I can't interest you in a IittIe beef and broccoIi?
Let me teII you something. PeopIe who get married are not to be trusted.
-Did you just say ''dry hump''? -Yeah.
I am so into you.
Is that Iike young, hip, gay coupIes or something Iike that?
Because if you are so IegitimateIy happy, honestIy...
I hear you.
-Huh? -I, um...
A Iot of time to work on the pIace.
She's so busy organizing her sister's funeraI, I think she must be--
God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat.
Never try to trim your own bangs.
Hey, thanks for staying and heIping me cIean up.
Did I ask you out?
I knew there had to be some reason why he was spending that time with you.
This guy Conor and I have onIy been out one time--
Okay. Bye.
Have you been married?
Wait, wait, wait. Gigi.
Not a bIack shirt. I see it. It's not bIack.
Now, I know I don't need to teII any of you...
CONOR: Yeah. Come on in.
That's just the way it is, you know?
Because you told me not to call you if it was my class. It was.
No, I know. This is about Jarrad.
...who invited me in for a white-wine spritzer.
So call me back. Bye-bye.
Great cIass.
...implores us to wait for it.
Yeah, that's it.
BiII CIinton wouId be smart and sexy.
So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't Iike me?
You're getting a Iot of bids on this pIace?
I MEAN, I LIKE YOU THE WAY I LIKE BASSET HOUNDS... SOMETHING PATHETIC ABOUT THEM. YOU JUST WANNA CHEER THEM UP.
Look...
You have to be kidding me.
Wiccan?