Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Someone just dropped Iike 84,000 pIates. Maybe I'II see you there.

More women are accepted into Iaw schooI now than men.

...I think you can puII it off.

I wouId Iove to caII you sometime. Do you have a card?

PeopIe don't meet each other organicaIIy anymore.

It was definiteIy fun.

You wouIdn't have to broadcast it.

You know, when AIex said he wanted to throw a party, I was Iike, ''Let's do it!''

You're what I want.

Wow, this is you. Mary.

I'm not pregnant. That's ridicuIous.

...through all of the pain and embarrassment...

My trampy IittIe sister says MySpace is the new booty caII.

So you never wait untiI the Iast minute on a deadIine or a phone biII...

Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a Iate bite.

GEORGE: Argh! DEVON: That is so embarrassing.

Her wedding. Her sister's wedding.

You had some reaIIy good insights and I wanted to ask you a question.

This is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. Is that sad?

That's enough, okay? SeriousIy, you guys, I'm f--

-Guys, come here! LAURA: What happened?

you don’t put tomato sauce on rice yuck! I said to you raelene don’t put tomato sauce on the rice. well it’s like blood gangrene what the red dosen’t get in? and it’s your blood gouge.

What she meant to say was that it's fine that you broke up with NeiI.

I like him, I'll say that L word.

Better later than never.

If being in this wedding is too painfuI--

That he had finaIIy met the one.

Five years, because I haven't wanted to seem demanding.

I'm dating now.

WeII, I'd say if we're not at reIationship station-ship...

So I've come up with some signs about how to spot this girI.

InhaIe, reverse warrior, Iook up.

Coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

What part of ''My dad died of Iung cancer'' ...

...you have to Iet me eat those Wheat Thins in bed. You gotta give me that.

...even though the date was just kind of mediocre?

Is that your--?

Daddy, what is it? What happened? What happened?

Not hot yoga-instructing singers...

[PLATES SHATTERING]

I was just calling to tell you again how special it was to meet you.

Laugh out Ioud! We won!

You are so weird.

Oh, you are-- You're sensationaI.

-I'm reaIIy sorry to bug you. -That's okay.

LYING. SACK. OF SHIT.

Oh, that's funny.

You're more of a husband to me, not being married...

Okay, so cIearIy he hasn't caIIed.

Yeah, Iook, we'II taIk. We'II get in touch.

Anna gave me the oId, ''I'II caII you right back.''

-Can you hoId this for a second? -Yeah.

Why do women do this? BuiId up this stuff in their minds...

This constant obsession with needing to know who's caIIing aII the time...

Or he didn't caII because he has no interest in seeing you again.

Jumping every time your phone rings, checking your e-maiI 1 00 times a day...

''WiIson Ward, DDS, AduIt, ChiId and Geriatric Dentistry.''

-Mom, is that you? -Yes.

Why? You don't want it here?

...but at Ieast that means I stiII care.

KELLI ANN: Hi. Are you joining us for dinner, or...?

Maybe I shouId get back to work.

There are many peopIe who never get married.

You have to snake the drain when my hair gets cIogged.

Yeah. You're sitting back and you're like:

i haven't seen you in years either granny raelene snell you old granny! you were -15 years old when you had your first tooth pulled! oh how you've been missed dear when i was still 0 in diapers! my how i've grown to 47 now with a bit of 0 left!

BEN: It's over there.

I'm pretty sure.

Or, ''You're perfect, it's just I have to work on myseIf.''

I don't know. I'm gonna go.

Whoa, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny

It's Brother Phoenix East-Horse.

This is aII your fauIt.

...but you don't ever feeI Iike we're going against nature, or something...

...that means he likes you.

AII the women they're gonna miss out on.

ActuaIIy been Iobbying to sit next to her singIe sister for weeks.

-Nope, thanks for pIaying, move aIong. -It's that simpIe.

[KIDS SHOUTING]

...that I didn't know what it feIt Iike...

...for seven years and aren't married...

...you borrowed my New York Times...

-These are specific reIationship situations. -I was taIking about myseIf specificaIIy.

No, I didn't mean for you, I meant f--

So we meet at happy hour and he's compIeteIy charming--

This babe has plenty of battle scars.

You're busy. I shouIdn't have caIIed. You caIIed me.

...I had him foIIowed on numerous occasions...

-Sorry. -I actuaIIy might be abIe to heIp.

I just was actuaIIy in the area...

Why'd she wanna hang out with you and your husband?

Why wouId you do this?

No, of course, I'm not mad. Well, I'll be up for a while.

ALEX: I really genuinely love this person--

So just caII me sometime.

...but she got a Iot of good miIes Ieft in that tank.

WeII, Iisten...

Okay. AII right.

-Sorry. -It's aII right.

I'd rather be Iike that than be Iike you.

Over a week went by, okay, Gigi? And he didn't caII you.

You need me to evaIuate any IeveI of interest?

To my face, under my roof, on my time.

You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourseIf that way...

...and was just wondering how you're doing.

Yeah. I Iive on my boat, man.

-I mean, there have been signs. -CooI.

DOMINIC: So where's NeiI?

Sure. It's basicaIIy done. I have to teII you something important.

So are you here as, Iike, a guest, or, Iike, his date?

MAN: Yeah, he quit.

-Can't come home? Why? -No.

Can I heIp you find something?

I don't know if you'd caII it ''hot.''

-No. BRUCE: What?

Nothing. Sorry. For dinner?

AII I know about Conor is that he soId us this house.

...he's gonna think I'm some kind of psycho or something.

-Good, I'm glad. [MOUTHING] I love her. I love her.

But I just can't stop thinking about him.

DEVON: Stay home. It's an end-around. GEORGE: No, no, it's not. He's stiII got it.

-WeII, that couId have been you. -Yeah.

If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he's not interested.

Had to return this pen. He Ieft this.

...about how things might work out with these dipshits...

...but he took the caII and we taIked for a whiIe.

-He was cute. -Yeah, pIease don't cyber-staIk him.

YOU ARE AMAZING !!!

Which, of course, I shouId be pissed about, right?

I mean, reaIisticaIIy, what do I expect him to do, you know?

No, I reaIIy think that it wouId be good for me to know...