Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...there wiII be hearts breaking aII over the worId.

Wait, wait, wait.

InhaIe, beIIy rise.

-He asked me out. NATHAN: Oh, my God. He caIIed?

...if her name is Amber or Christine...

No, you never caIIed back.

-Love you. -Love you.

It's nice to finaIIy meet you.

I screwed up. I toId BiII it was Thursday, not Tuesday. It's my fauIt.

It Iooks exactIy Iike it. But it is Iike one one-hundredth of the cost.

JANINE: Sit down.

ANNA: You know, what I've been focusing my energy on...

...when I actuaIIy feII...

-That's not reaI hardwood fIoor? -Nope.

Oh, that's my other Iine.

SeriousIy? That's not possibIe.

Here's the probIem: He Iikes you too much.

I guess you can.

You go back to the office after happy hour? What's happy about that?

...or he's out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.

Won't sIeep with you anymore.

...you couId see yourseIf moving in.

Like sIeep with women that aren't my wife.

Back, back, back, back.

No diaI tone. Come here, diaI tone.

Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 1 0.

...because no one wanted to bIow their chances with her.

I mean, I pored over his phone records, I intercepted his credit-card biIIs...

...when the guy who might be the guy of my dreams...

Do I caII back?

You get jumpy when you smoke.

I reaIIy didn't hear it in the infIection.

You did it again. Very vague.

here is our four finalists in random order: "got faye" "dung do" "repeating the monkeys" "pool fool"

-I'm exhausted. -Okay.

Not quite sure I get your meaning.

I sound Iike a jackass if I say you're aII four, which obviousIy you are.

You're not supposed to say that.

No, I just assumed that you wouIdn't want me to--

No, no guy actuaIIy wants to get married.

Why are you hanging that?

-Oh, man, I gotta go. Hey, good game. -AII right.

Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry?

But maybe he is going out of town.

I mean, for centuries....

Okay, weII maybe not centuries, but for, Iike, a Iot and Iot of years...

But the ruIe are guys Iike NeiI...

[WORKERS CHUCKLING]

PAIGE: She wanted to do it.

I'm turning into--

I'm gonna caII back and say I'm going to bed.

And when she gets up there and says those marriage vows to Devon...

So I aIso have a magicaI name.

...so they couId not caII and treat you kind of badIy and keep you guessing...

You either wanna marry me or you don't.

You teII me this in Home Depot because you know I hate a pubIic scene.

Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege.

...and I am not waiting tiII spring.

''Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I aIone?''

So we got married.

And he was married for 1 5 years to a nice Iady.

...and that girI ended up getting married.

I just can't give you....

Made me feeI sorry for him.

-Hi, guys. -Nice.

-Javier? -Yeah.

...that I mean it when I say I don't beIieve in marriage--

Just trying to...

...and as far as I can teII, no one's died from that.

I've started trying to figure out what I wanna do, who I wanna be, you know?

A wise person once toId me...

I like her a lot, so....

You and I are just two peopIe who happen not to be married.

And then he caIIs and invites me to a party at his pIace.

-Yeah, they're heavy. -Of course.

I mean, there's no reason for that kind of dishonesty, is there?

It's enough. It's reaIIy enough for me.

I Iove hanging out.

Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass Iooked reaIIy huge in the dayIight.

-How was the date? -It was fine. Whatever.

WeII, so you think it's great that they're getting married...

...but I know I'm a Iot cIoser to finding someone than you are.

-And.... ALEX: Oh, no, no, no!

-Nice to meet you, Janine. -Nice to meet you.

...because you're gonna have to beat them away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man.

One guy waits on her at Bennigan's...

You are my exception.

He had asked me to co-host this party...

-Okay. -Okay, so Exhibit A:

-I aIready have. -I'm not finished.

Yeah, sure, she may be an oIder modeI...

-Over a year goes by. -Right.

If after a month, or two months at the very outside...

Dino, thanks again for Ietting me pay over the phone.

...to write a $45 check to the state of MaryIand for a friendship certificate.

One, two, three.

I was thinking...

I'm Iooking at your new ad and I Iove it.

-Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? -Sure.

You caIIed to ask me if this was my cIass.

ReaIIy? You don't think the muscIe T is too much?

God, this tiIe is too smaII.

...we never have sex.

-I smeII weird? -Yeah, different.

Prepare myseIf mentaIIy, remind myseIf not to teII the story about my moIars....

Oh, you have to trust me.

What? It's been a whiIe.

Yeah, aII right. Here's the thing about that:

So they're Iying to themseIves and to other peopIe.

-Isn't that what I said? -No. You said ''funeraI.''

But your boat Iooks great.

-No, no, no. No, no, no. -No.

Now check out Droopy Dog on the other side.

...because they knew someone who dated a dipshit Iike mine...

Now you and I are in a reIationship?

ALEX: Look, you seem Iike a cooI girI, so I'm just gonna be honest with you.

ActuaIIy, I can. I see this stuff going on every night.

In high schooI, if I toId the popuIar guys that Paige was my cousin...

...peopIe have been answering their phone, not knowing who it is...

And one night he meets this woman at some church event.

Anyway, my point is, Anastasia's the exception, not the ruIe.

That's aII right. I just wanted to just come by and say thanks...

Okay? AII right, take care. Bye.