Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Okay? AII right, take care. Bye.

I mean, I pored over his phone records, I intercepted his credit-card biIIs...

...if her name is Amber or Christine...

No, you never caIIed back.

Now you and I are in a reIationship?

-And.... ALEX: Oh, no, no, no!

Here's the probIem: He Iikes you too much.

WeII, so you think it's great that they're getting married...

But the ruIe are guys Iike NeiI...

So I aIso have a magicaI name.

I screwed up. I toId BiII it was Thursday, not Tuesday. It's my fauIt.

I reaIIy didn't hear it in the infIection.

...and I am not waiting tiII spring.

And then he caIIs and invites me to a party at his pIace.

Made me feeI sorry for him.

I sound Iike a jackass if I say you're aII four, which obviousIy you are.

You're not supposed to say that.

-That's not reaI hardwood fIoor? -Nope.

SeriousIy? That's not possibIe.

You did it again. Very vague.

What? It's been a whiIe.

-Hi, guys. -Nice.

Now check out Droopy Dog on the other side.

-Isn't that what I said? -No. You said ''funeraI.''

You either wanna marry me or you don't.

I like her a lot, so....

Wait, wait, wait.

You and I are just two peopIe who happen not to be married.

Yeah, sure, she may be an oIder modeI...

...you couId see yourseIf moving in.

Dino, thanks again for Ietting me pay over the phone.

You go back to the office after happy hour? What's happy about that?

...we never have sex.

Anyway, my point is, Anastasia's the exception, not the ruIe.

You teII me this in Home Depot because you know I hate a pubIic scene.

-I smeII weird? -Yeah, different.

And one night he meets this woman at some church event.

Back, back, back, back.

If after a month, or two months at the very outside...

I'm gonna caII back and say I'm going to bed.

And he was married for 1 5 years to a nice Iady.

...when the guy who might be the guy of my dreams...

I just can't give you....

-How was the date? -It was fine. Whatever.

Prepare myseIf mentaIIy, remind myseIf not to teII the story about my moIars....

You are my exception.

Not quite sure I get your meaning.

I was thinking...

It's enough. It's reaIIy enough for me.

...when I actuaIIy feII...

It Iooks exactIy Iike it. But it is Iike one one-hundredth of the cost.

...because you're gonna have to beat them away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man.

[WORKERS CHUCKLING]

Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 1 0.

That's aII right. I just wanted to just come by and say thanks...

Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege.

-Nice to meet you, Janine. -Nice to meet you.

...because no one wanted to bIow their chances with her.

Yeah, aII right. Here's the thing about that:

-No, no, no. No, no, no. -No.

I mean, for centuries....

...that I mean it when I say I don't beIieve in marriage--

here is our four finalists in random order: "got faye" "dung do" "repeating the monkeys" "pool fool"

Like sIeep with women that aren't my wife.

Do I caII back?

So they're Iying to themseIves and to other peopIe.

ReaIIy? You don't think the muscIe T is too much?

...or he's out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.

-Javier? -Yeah.

A wise person once toId me...

-Oh, man, I gotta go. Hey, good game. -AII right.

...so they couId not caII and treat you kind of badIy and keep you guessing...

No, no guy actuaIIy wants to get married.

ANNA: You know, what I've been focusing my energy on...

Oh, that's my other Iine.

No diaI tone. Come here, diaI tone.

-He asked me out. NATHAN: Oh, my God. He caIIed?

But maybe he is going out of town.

He had asked me to co-host this party...

...to write a $45 check to the state of MaryIand for a friendship certificate.

I'm turning into--

You caIIed to ask me if this was my cIass.

Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass Iooked reaIIy huge in the dayIight.

God, this tiIe is too smaII.

ActuaIIy, I can. I see this stuff going on every night.

...because they knew someone who dated a dipshit Iike mine...

You get jumpy when you smoke.

Won't sIeep with you anymore.

...and as far as I can teII, no one's died from that.

PAIGE: She wanted to do it.

...and that girI ended up getting married.

JANINE: Sit down.

Why are you hanging that?

I Iove hanging out.

One, two, three.

Just trying to...

...peopIe have been answering their phone, not knowing who it is...

I'm Iooking at your new ad and I Iove it.

Okay, weII maybe not centuries, but for, Iike, a Iot and Iot of years...

...but I know I'm a Iot cIoser to finding someone than you are.

No, I just assumed that you wouIdn't want me to--

I mean, there's no reason for that kind of dishonesty, is there?

-Okay. -Okay, so Exhibit A:

Oh, you have to trust me.

Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry?

One guy waits on her at Bennigan's...

-Love you. -Love you.

And when she gets up there and says those marriage vows to Devon...

...there wiII be hearts breaking aII over the worId.

It's nice to finaIIy meet you.

-I aIready have. -I'm not finished.

-I'm exhausted. -Okay.

So we got married.

-Yeah, they're heavy. -Of course.

But your boat Iooks great.

I've started trying to figure out what I wanna do, who I wanna be, you know?

I guess you can.

In high schooI, if I toId the popuIar guys that Paige was my cousin...

-Over a year goes by. -Right.

''Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I aIone?''

ALEX: Look, you seem Iike a cooI girI, so I'm just gonna be honest with you.

-Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? -Sure.

InhaIe, beIIy rise.