Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Let me get the door.
EIeven days. And now he's the worId's best husband.
...maybe yeIIow.
You have no messages.
It's okay. Maybe we shouId just go Iook at the griIIs and we'II come back.
-Your face. -Don't make her cry.
I'm not smoking, I promise.
Or maybe it was at the end.
You marry her and you're an asshoIe for marrying before you're ready.
...but made me beIieve that I was insane for being suspicious.
That I have to stop thinking that every guy wiII change.
You see how that's kind of confusing?
You know, I'm not charming via text.
Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never caIIed.
-Oh, can you hoId on? -Okay.
Maybe I shouId do a IittIe drive-by?
[ALEX LAUGHS]
He'II caII.
...and put myseIf out there too much...
GIGI: But usually someone is there to offer words of wisdom.
Okay, right. ''BiII.''
Oh, yeah.
MARIEL: WeII, my first husband was unimpressive.
You came to my class.
...Iiving on the boat...
BEN: ExactIy.
Yeah.
Or whatever.
Okay. Okay. But what if I'm the exception?
I was just thinking about you.
When I do a setup, I weigh the pros and cons.
Man, you have a gift.
Remember that notary pubIic who cheated on me?
WeII, first off, it's not just a bunch of nude farming. Dad.
AII right, Iook, I wanna say something, okay?
What, you here?
And that one answering machine housed one cassette tape...
ShouId I--?
What?
How couId he aIready not Iike me?
WeIcome, everybody. Thanks for coming. I'm Conor.
Listen, I know it's been a whiIe since you caIIed.
I'm sitting right in front of you.
Gonna take a shower.
Come on, my boy. Take it home.
Of course.
-You asshoIe. -I'm sorry.
[PHONE RINGS]
It's compIicated.
We caII each other ''sweetie'' aII the time.
ABC Australia that not the scream ABC is working is Pixar lamp?
-You make me sick. -I had no choice.
(80S SYNTHESIZED POP SONG PLAYING)
...or shouId you stay to the end to have some aIone time?
-You can store those horizontaIIy. -GoodwiII wouIdn't even take these.
You can't hide it, man.
So I think the best I can do is...
[SIGHS]
Who was that?
I don't know. I don't know.
...so I'm on the precipice of staging a casuaI run-in at the City Supper CIub.
I do.
...refuses to caII me.
I just mean-- I mean, I Iike you the way I Iike basset hounds.
Observe your breath.
Are we good?
Why did you do that?
I'm the exception.
You've been there, you've seen it. I'm perfectIy capabIe of doing this.
You're just too good a guy.
[SIGHS]
That happens aII the time.
...and I stayed after.
Hey, KeIIi Ann.
...when I came home earIy from the MaIdives.
I know that AIex wasn't just some guy.
-No. -No?
He ordered more drinks for us when the waitress came.
You must be Beth.
Oh, my word.
-Get in the cIoset. -What?
We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good.
Is that an invitation?
...because I don't know, I feIt Iike that geIIed.
I don't....
I'II see you Iater.
BOTH: Bon Jovi.
... Pooh
Excuse me?
I'II wait at the bar.
Oh, the spark thing is buIIshit.
I can do it again.
Four categories:
And a IittIe pIate of coId cuts, if there are any Ieft.
I haven't taIked to you in a IittIe whiIe...
ALEX: Minor oversight.
.
You Iying sack of shit!
...if she caIIs you ''cuddIy'' or ''dependabIe.''
[PHONE RINGING]
You LYING SACK OF SHIT
I don't think that it's pretending.
what ? what ?
And you guys aII buy it. You eat it up and you Iove it.
Wait, what was I saying again?
GIRL: Oh, a pass. ALEX: You work too hard.
GIGI: Do you know who it is? -No.
mariah! Mariah! Yes we’ll find kfc yes i’m fired boing boing yes eugenie good all? ok mariah yes morgan’s tales tou ok?
-I don't know. Not what I expected. -My voice doesn't match my face?
Ready? LOL.
Yeah.
This is a Iie, Ben.
Oh, reaIIy. How do you know?
BEN: Hello? -Hey, Ben. This is Anna Marks.
WeIcome aboard.
If you're not wood, don't try and Iook Iike wood.
What happened?
...and they're insaneIy happy.
I thought Mary Stuart Masterson was Watts.
Okay.
BuIIshit.
And then he teIIs me that he's married.
-Yeah. -And?
I mean...
Back when everyone was just going to camp at the Y...
That's great, yeah.
HoId on.
Yeah.
...by the way. The rare exception.
WeII, what is the point?
BiII, so you do exist.
Yeah, I did.
STEVEN: Shit. -Who Iet that happen? It's embarrassing.
PAIGE: We're in Iove, you asshoIes.
What are you doing?
KELLI ANN: Why? - Hm?
-He MySpaced me. -Ouch.
Was he hot?
WOMAN 2: Ken, are you aII right? MAN: Just cIutched his chest.
[''IF I NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN'' BY MAROON 5 PLAYING ON STEREO]
One drink. Okay?
Okay, you are sexy, very sexy.
I can't stay, I'm totaIIy--
Laura, aIso your husband wouId reaIIy Iike another beer...
-You are not getting rid of these pants. -We had a deaI, mister.