Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

IF YOU HAVE TO. THIS IS THE 75th-ANNIVERSARY ISSUE.
IT MAKES ME WANNA RATION SUGAR. WHERE'S JACKSON?
AND SHE THINKS I LOOK LIKE ELIZABETH TAYLOR,
WE HAD OUR CHECKUP, SO HE'S GONNA SIGN US IN AND SCOPE OUT A GOOD SPOT.
ACTUALLY, IT'S -- IT'S NOT BAD AT ALL.
DO NOT LET HER STOP OR LAY DOWN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
* OH, OH, OH *
OH, MORNING, SUGAR. YOU GUYS LOOK TERRIFIC.
CONTRARY TO YOUR BELIEF, THERE ARE THINGS IN LIFE
EVERYBODY, GRAB YOUR PARTNERS.
I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE SHANE -- WHAT IS IT WITH THEM?
THANK YOU.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD MAD COW DISEASE?
SCORE! I KNOW. I AM COMPLETELY JAZZED.
I KNOW. I HEARD YOU ALREADY. FIND A PIRATE TO SIT ON.
MA'AM.
THE ONLY THING HE DOES HAVE IN HIS WHOLE LONELY, PATHETIC EXISTENCE IS THIS MARATHON.
ONE OF YOU IS SUPPOSED TO STAY HERE -- H-HEY!
YOU WOULD KICK TINY TIM'S CRUTCH OUT FROM UNDER HIM, WOULDN'T YOU?
KIRK, HOWEVER, IS GONNA BE CRYING LIKE A LITTLE, TEENY GIRL.
SECURITY!
THE COVER WAS OF A DEEP-FRIED MARS BAR.
I WISH I COULD BRING THEM BY,
I'M QUITTING THE CONTEST!
THE LAST COUPLE LEFT STANDING GETS A TROPHY.
WE'RE NOT RAISING MONEY TO RESTORE THE BRIDGE. WE'RE NOT?
TAYLOR! WAKE UP! IT'S OVER!
FLIP ALL YOU WANT, PAL. THIS AIN'T THE OLYMPICS.
WHAT BETTER TO HELP YOU STAY UP THAN A CUP OF STRONG COFFEE?
I WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK ON THE FRANKLIN WITH PARIS.
I VOTED THAT SHE ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING.
I TOLD HIM TO CALL ME IF THERE WAS ANY TROUBLE.
OF THE TOURING COMPANY OF "RIVERDANCE."
OUR TOWN IS HAVING A DANCE MARATHON THIS WEEKEND.
PALE DOES NOT MEAN MAD COW DISEASE.
SEE? FUN! AND NO ONE'S EVEN THROWN UP YET.
I CAN TELL. SO HOW'S IT GOING?
I'M GOING HOME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT.
YOU SEE, ONCE AGAIN,
THAT'S OKAY. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.
OW! YOU OKAY?
HOW DID YOUR WIFE GET A PICTURE OF ME, STANLEY?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, I WAS JUST --
I WONDER WHO HE'S DANCING WITH.
I CAN'T. THIS ISN'T LIKE THE BOWL HIS MOTHER GAVE.
OKAY, YES, I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THEM,
HOW MUCH LONGER? OH, CHIN UP, SOLDIER.
NOTHING SAYS COFFEE LIKE 6:00 IN THE MORNING.
FOLLOW ME.
STANLEY APPLEMAN.
[ SNIFFS ] HELLO!
YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO
THEY'RE OUT!
JUST BECAUSE I AGREED TO POSTPONE A NEWSPAPER SESSION DOES IN NO WAY --
LOOK, I'LL BE BACK IN 10 MINUTES.
[ SIGHS ]
LAST YEAR WAS THE 74th-ANNIVERSARY ISSUE OF THE FRANKLIN.
WE COULD MOVE THIS SATURDAY'S FRANKLIN THING
YOU'RE LIGHT -- EASY TO HOLD UP WHEN YOU GET TIRED.
IN THE ONE TINY, SHORT CONVERSATION WE HAD...
YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DONATE FREE COFFEE TO HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
I ACTUALLY NEED TO SIT DOWN.
NO, HE'S NOT.
Lorelai: MMM...NO. WHY NOT?
IF SHE SAYS "YES," THEN I WILL DANCE WITH YOU.
WILL BE YOU AND ME INSTEAD OF KIRK.
YOU DIDN'T WANNA USE IT? I WAS STARTING CLASSES.
OKAY. WELL, UH...
OKAY.
IF WE'RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO NEED A TARP.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT -- TO B.A. HISTORY?
TODAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I FOUND A DANCE PARTNER.