Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

The past, the future. All very cute.

Well, that was exciting.

Yeah, well, that's not going to happen.

Um, people are shooting each other. I'm getting out of here.

Yeah, I know that you do. You're the biggest fuck-up I know.

I'm Adam. I get plowed by dudes on TV.

Up until yesterday, I thought I had a normal life.

President Neil Patrick Harris has called

(SCOFFS) Of course I can wink.

I don't know. I've only been the best of friends to him.

What's he do... What's he just doing there like this?

Oh. Well, my mom used to live near here,

You're so poor now, but I really like you still.

- (RETCHES) - Ah!

This me is great. Take it from me.

No, actually, I'll get a tangerine margarita.

BOTH: Everybody, strut, strut, strut, strut.

to challenge you to specific tasks.

And I want to get out of this shirt.

(WOMAN SHUSHES)

You suck each other's dicks

You look like a Jewish Jason Statham.

Have I bombed anything, you think?

LOU: Look, Kel, I'm sorry, okay?

Jacob, come on!

I can't believe I'm fucking

- I trust you. - Okay.

I'm distinguished.

No, no, no, really, what do you mean?

- I'm... - Jill. I know.

I'm glad we're on the same page.

Lou, would you come the fuck on?

(INSTRUMENTAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

You're a fucking nerd

Dick and balls! You looked at a dick and balls!

You just learned a valuable life lesson.

- No, you're my best choice. - You're my bestest choice.

I saw this on C. S.I.

whoever the fuck that is.

No, no. You guys, we can't just fuck around.

But what was it like to grow up

What the fuck? Lou...

- Yeah. - Oh! Oh, my God.

Yeah. We normally give Tylenol for that.

I shared a romantic dinner with my wife?

Fuck you, dude.

You don't remember calling me and telling me that you were a god?

- No way. - I think he's right, Lou.

I felt like an ape. Like an ape.

Brad Syed? He's coming to my wedding.

I mean, like, as far as rooms go, this is one of the biggest.

Yes. Yes, I am.

JACOB: And that doesn't matter either.

- Let him do it. - JACOB: We'll let him do it.

No one ejaculated inside of anything, really.

Here I go. I'm gonna jump.

I know. I love you, man!

No. Does that sound like me?

uh, fucked his wife. A tiny bit! A tiny bit.

- Thank you. - JILL: I have the dress.

This isn't good. She's never late. Ever.

Look, I get you. I do.

You look like you've never made a correct decision.

Hey! What a coincidence!

Jacob. This is a great show.

This fucking guy again!

We need to change people's lives.

So it was just like... (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

...Al Michaels' Revenge or cocaine?

That's bullshit, okay?

I can't believe I let you talk me into joining this sinking ship.

Happy Birthday!

Okay, this is becoming a bit of a hygiene issue.

I just pumped him full of...

NICK: Classic Lou.

Adam, I hate to be a stickler, but you guys haven't met yet.

- ...smack, whack, jack... - Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Where are me and you right now on a scale of, like,

- Mmm-hmm. (GULPS) - Minus the half.

- Kill your dad? - Yeah.

except, you know, we're supposed to fuck.

- What? No. - I think this is my house.

Okay, I don't really give a shit.

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG)

We got to find your murderer.

was the best thing that ever happened to me.

(STAMMERS) Oh, okay. The bigger question is, how...

NICK: There's still time.

Oh, my God. Jacob Dorchen and Nick Webber?

- It's a hot tub. - Whatever!

Why do you do that?

Do you or someone you love have a problem with

It wasn't real.

No... Oh, no, wait, wait, wait.

and salutations that haven't even come to pass yet.

- Are we going? - Yeah.

I'd like to help him.

I didn't magically turn it all around after that ski trip.

- Don't say that out loud. - It might hear you.

Wait, are you saying that time travel is not even possible?

The bowels evacuate

so I'm really trying to take it easy.

I just get sick of explaining it to him.

I know how this looks.

Can we go to the fuckin' party now?

- You're just gonna keep saying... - Nothing but net!

is tentatively being called nitrotrinadium.

That's a good-looking dick to me!

Don't you watch Downton Abbey?

Would you mind your own fucking beeswax?

Hey, I'm sorry. Look.

Whatever. I'm over this.

(NICK AND JACOB GRUNTING)

I did something a cocktail waitress told me not to do,

and I'm good at receiving guests and...

Youngblood, we got to figure this out.

- I think we made it! - Let's go!

Who in the future would want to kill you, Lou?