Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

OLDER TED; So, that was Thanksgiving 2005,

This was day six,

I embarrassed myself in front of your family,

one pregnancy test.

Do you have everything you need? Toothbrush, pajamas, underpants?

I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.

Home. Yeah, we get so much extra food, no one can eat it all.

Can't you see why everybody from my high school stays in this town?

Thanksgiving in a strip club. Who's in?

Oh, no, dear. Sixteen cups. Mayo's in that cabinet.

Hey, Barney's not gonna get all the glory today.

- I'm just... - Just promise!

Bask-ice-ball? Not ice-ket-ball?

- I'm Amber. - I'm Ted.

Yeah, you were sitting pretty, till I whacked you with that mallet.

But this is an American holiday.

Remember when I said I'd find you a girlfriend?

I peed in an alley, which happened to have a church,

And we grew to the proper size, and then we stopped.

- You can't fire a volunteer. - Apparently you can.

You wanna scoop stuffing your first day out?

- just tell me, I'll do it. - Ted, I'm glad you asked.

Well, sure, in St. Cloud,

You know where he hasn't been? To heaven with Samantha.