Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

-Now come on. -I'm not going to make it.

get “fuck me” tattooed on our foreheads

-I've come to see her. -She's not here.

You wrack your brains day and night to come up with a moneymaking scheme

-It better! -(ALL LAUGHING)

I hope you're not suggesting that you'll marry her.

You can still go out and make a million. Don't worry.

-Always. -And a woman will be impressed,

But you can't do it now, can you?

Fetch, Krabinu, fetch!

lies the greatest concentration of wealth in the world.

WOMAN ON TV: Wake up! On your feet, come on!

I want to go home.

Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.

I guess that's what you learned in college, right?

-We need solid credentials. -A marketing degree is a prerequisite.

I was worth so little to you

I'll take one of those orange things.

(POP SONG PLAYING)

I bet I can still spook you.

and he doesn't even rate a beer on the house?

What's the matter?

this is just a part-time gig for me.

You'd have to get over on her,

and her tennis coach.

Yes, but how is a bartender going to get his hands on any of it?

Kinda makes you curious, don't it?

How will I ever know that you're being honest with me?

Give him a minute. You'll love him. All women do.

I don't know, you looking for anotherjob?

-Send her a letter. Out! -Get your hands off me, man.

She's got millions.

Come on, we could make a fortune.

So, is this one-night stand time?

Mighty Casey has struck out.

-BRIAN: Good evening, Henry. -Hey!

-What the hell's this? -That's for you.

You stand in this bar and be struck by lightning.

Johann Gambolputty

Coughlin's law?

-Will she be all right? -Yeah, she'll be okay.

I make drinks so sweet and snazzy

-Proctologist's dream. -What?

You don't get rich giving things away.

You ought to know better than to come to a bartender for advice.

-He killed himself. -Brian!

It has been an adventure. (CHUCKLING)

See if there's a white circle from her wedding band.

-Waiting. -You think so?

yes boing boing two trolleys yes boing george and me grandmom's got listeria and she's 333 years old! boing boing with that parkinson's boing dear boing! yes faye boing retirement yes boing boing yes cinebuzz boing yes gone cankles at 827 years old! you're divorced!

(MIXER WHIRRING)

$50 says you don't even make it over the bar.

Blue shirt, fifth row, wake up!

It doesn't make you a bad person.

Positive thinking!

God knows I've tried to beat that instinct out of him,

I am the world's last barman poet.

You look like a guy who dyes his hair and shaves with a Brillo pad.

One of my rum specialties, perhaps?

(DOUG CHUCKLING)

Drink or be gone.

-Good afternoon, Miss Mooney. -Hi.

WOMAN 3: Pink Squirrel.

-Is that all your daughter's worth? -How much will it take?

Put him in a room full of women

I don't deserve it.

(SINGING) I got the hippie hippie shake

(UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING)

And blew the fucking lot.

A guy who gets an erection on his birthday if the wind is right.

Just because he gets lucky with a rich chick...

The Death Spasm

Did you say you'd like to see the specials, sir?

You wanna wait three years?