Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, I... I want to date her... I want a second date.

but sometimes you spend your day in bed, eating and crying.

It doesn't. O u r kids would be little fat things with snub noses.

We'll have two beers, and we'll take them over there at the roulette table.

I'm gonna get a snack. Do you want a snack?

You are so much more than just short and fat.

Don't blow this.

They're saying you know something different about what happens after you die.

-Hi. -Are you here to abandon an elderly person?

that their genetic match-up will be most likely to produce favourable offspring

Well, I'm not gonna do it now because you're in.

That's why I came over here, actually. I wanted to give you this invitation.

We have to have sex right now!

It says here that you only have $300 in your account,

I'll have the fish tacos 'cause it's what I had last time I was here.

Not only am I the head writer of the coveted first century,

She's a prize on your arm. And your kids will be, too.

Gervais: So if you're a chubby, little loser like this guy, for example,

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

when he tells the world's first lie.

-Why can't we be together, then? -Because of the whole genetics thing.

But, you know, it's more than that.

Because I love you.

Well, you're stupid.

I mean, you might lose your job if the boss doesn't like it,

Are you still lonely? Have you found someone yet?

Hey, you're Mark Bellison.

-Anna. -You are so handsome.

I think she's probably checking on the date. It won't take long.

based on your looks, your financial situation and your position in life,

Well, that's fine. They'll leave their mansion. They'll come and live with you, won't they?

In Rome, Italy, they wait. In New York City, they wait.

No. Sorry, can we just meet up? It'd be best.

It's the 1300s. What am I meant to write about?

If you could make the world the way you wanted it to be,

Oh, then go right in.

I just need to get... I know, I'm sorry. Pardon me. Pardon me, please.

You did admit yourself that, you know, we got on.

Mark: He spent the last years of his life in jail.

You're almost definitely getting fired.

You haven't lost yet, man.

until one day, a great writer by the name of Mark Bellison

You know what I think of him. I think he is the world's biggest douche bag.

I love you, Mark.

Come on, let's up the stakes a little bit. Come on.

If the dog dies, it's bad, but it's not... I mean, don't do it on purpose.

Tell them it's for kids.

Okay. Let's try that.

I'd get all the money.

I just don't want to go in there today. I just don't, you know?

I don't have a lot of hope for you either, but I wish you good luck.

Oh, and Shelley thinks you're an overweight homosexual.

Taking their stuff, doing things to people they don't want done,

Oh, yeah. That's pretty much off the chart. You're drunk.

BOB: (ON RADIO) Thanks for that, Jim. Next up, Mark Bellison.

MAN: (ON TV)...first used roughly 4,000 years ago on Celtic chariots,

And I lean over and just turn it off.

just because you come from a more privileged family

but it won't affect what happens to you after you die.

No, I came to say good bye to you,

but also the thought of sleeping with you sickens me.

Well, I was gonna rob your house.

Does he have my genetics? My confidence? My charisma?

Mark, how's it going?

It's Monday at noon. You're not supposed to be at home now.

I had a better time than I thought I'd have.

Did you come to beg for your job back?

(Exclaiming GLEEFULLY)

What else would you do? If you could do anything.

What are you doing here?

I mean, I don't think you have the choice to keep it in.

Do we have time to get to a motel, or do we need to do it right here?

Mum, listen to me.

He's also taller.

The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now!

That doesn't sound like a happy life. That sounds like a long, miserable one.

MALE NARRATOR.....proudly presents The Industrial Revolution.

Mark: Today, I stumbled upon something that no man has ever stumbled on before.

-Huh? -... if you slept with me on the first date.

Tell me something about your family. I don't know that much about you.

Ne çirkin bebek

Where will you go?

I'm gonna send that bottle back.

and they shouldn't expect their calls returned,

and successful and famous changed your genetics,

Did you want large bills or small?

-Yeah. -ASSISTANT: Okay.

if you do bad things, you won't get to go to this great place when you die.

I'm so scared, Mark.

Can I get a discount on a ten-speed?

-Brad Kessler. -Brad Kessler?

You're getting paid for it, so let's take the message in case I don't get...