Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Why, yes, Hubie. Why wouldn't I be?

Not sure what's happening in this creepy town,

Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot.

It's not even dark yet here in Salem,

Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise.

Maybe sometime you and I could possibly…

I heard some odd noises when I was walking by.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated...

It's Sunday, dumb-ass.

Part of the fun of Halloween is its ways of teaching us life lessons.

PUT ME IN COACH

Never mind that. Cop a squat.

Megan McNally, you like underclassmen?

I dropped out three years ago. Shut up.

Have fun, Pubes.

And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this.

I don't know. That sounds like a big boner.

His shirt was torn up. He was barking at the moon.

It's been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high.

Ah, Officer Steve. You always had it going on.

Ouch. That even hurt me.

All right. Let's go see if we can get ourselves a confession.

- Our kids are so creative. - They are amazing. Mmm!

I would never hurt you.

- Good to wash off the dirt. - Here, let me help you.

- He was my... - You be quiet, too. You next.

It's not a costume.

Mrs. Phillips, I'll be with you in a minute.

Here she comes.

It's fun working with you, always.

Your tombstone says that you have yet to die.

Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem?

It pisses me off.

Oh, I see you in the hallways

- Just hang up your phone. - Please stop.

You are cursed!

- Bitch used a burner. - Mm-hmm.

Scientists would call him a lyco-thorpe.

Could you possibly point me in the direction of this strange vehicle?

Oh, yeah, I don't have any kids. As far as I know.

Move quickly and quietly toward the exits.

Just do your job. No breaks on Halloween.

But I happen to be an excellent listener if you want to, you know,

She's not answering.

You hear this? Can I borrow your gun?

Oh, you fostering this mumbling zombie now, too?

And it's gonna be a great day in Salem. Right, Jenna Thomas?

I lost my hair 20 years ago,

I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli.

Who is nice and kind to 'em and makes them feel loved.

A question. How would I go about getting the information to you?

- Right, baby? - Yes, we do. Oh!

Right between…

- Untie us, now! - Are you paying attention?

Hubie Halloween

Anyway, you take care, Hubie. All right?

Hasn't had any sex.

Please hate Sausage Party (2016), Escape from Planet Earth (2013), Planet 51 (2009), A Serbian Film (2010) These movies are so annoying and disgusting and overrated like Cuties (2020)

I feel like you're the second most frequent caller we get.

You mean in human years?

But what he does have is hope.

but most especially in Salem, America's unofficial Halloween capital.

And all the candy that was part of the tower before it collapsed,

That was so terrifying!

Nothing broken, physically speaking.

But there's a situation going on here!

Freeze, Mrs. Dubois!

PUT ME IN COACH

I think I saw a little kid get lost in the Corn Maze.

- Officer Steve! - I'm sorry, buddy.

"Best looking."

Walter Lambert. Seemed like good people.

It's a shame what they've done to your lawn!

- Have you? - I...

You're the best person I know.

You know, age is just a state of mind.

But I guess that's why you're a hero.

I swear to God, if you jump out of one of these bushes,

Mr. Lambert! Get over here!

So, Violet Valentine.

When he gets here, I'll handle the scaring.

Are you here to protect me from this weirdo man that's trying to hit on me?

Good night. Please keep the fishnets for fishing next year.

Yeah, but you know what? I hope he comes looking for me.

What is it, Sergeant?