Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Fifty dollars gets you a T-shirt.
...you received a letter from the Ass Crack Bandit?
Hey, bro, free crackers. Wanna spend your life opening lockers?
Here we go.
- Yes, yes. - Gwen Ridley, Greendale Gazette.
Oh, excuse me for being alive in the '90s...
There's been another...
I'd rather just stop at the meat store
- Wait a minute. - Ants do have butts.
The student that attended can vouch for him.
Humans make better banks than piggies.
It's a container for all this little stuff...
I use an older, British form of Facebook called Mug-scroll.
If that's the highest DEFCON, and if high DEFCONs are worse than low ones.
- Over there! - Come on, let's get him!
- No. - Oh, American high five. Sorry.
He's bolting!
Okay, you wanna make trouble? Go to Parker Brothers. You're out.
The dean's not gonna help me pursue this.
Mildly autistic super detectives everywhere.
Everyone remain calm, please! All right, free-for-all!