Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, honey. I think this warhead's armed.

I would just be calmer if I knew how we were gonna survive Christmas with 12 people

- Tom. - No, I got this. Hey, Mom...

Your cousins get here any minute. Yeah, Roger?

They're just a little cranky 'cause the Steelers lost, so...

You know, reindeer are actually a sustainable food source

of what happens when hope is lost,

Seriously, what are we gonna do?

You sure about that?

I just wanna get these rewrapped for the kids.

Did you ever spend any time on the field, Tommy?

Well, it's Beth. She went to her boyfriend's earlier and she hasn't come back yet.

Got to die sometime. Might as well enjoy it while we can.

Stevie. I'm coming, baby.

Stay here. I'll be right back.

- It's a Christmas cluster-eff over here. - Beth, help me hang this.

You're so stinky. Okay, I'm gonna go change her. Let's go this way.

You might have noticed that I don't have tons of friends.

We got to get in there. We got to get in there and get her out.

About time you got up. We've been waiting forever.

Besides it being subzero out there,

A shepherd has got to protect his flock.

- What's this all about? - It's nothing. Just...

Well, the only survival training I need is my old smoke pole

Don't you find it the least bit strange? They can see dust specks on Mars,

- Howard! - You bitch!

and a big, fat box of buckshot that I keep out in that truck.

We brought you a little taste of home, though, didn't we?

Howard, that's Jordan.

I could see if anyone else has power on the way.

Could be an elk or a goat.

She wants to face him. She's trying to help.

She says not to go.

And as soon as the weather breaks, we'll go find her.

- The snowplow? - The keys were in the ignition,

Your guess is as good as mine.

You believe that story, right?

- I don't know. The truth? - Sure. Which version of it?

- But why? - Because.

even the assholes you normally can't stand.

- Plant your feet. All right. - Right.

and help little old ladies across the street. Am I right?

Help me! Help me!

Okay. Okay, already. Come on, Linda. Let's do this. You're gonna help me?

- I'll get it! - Fine.

- Human shit. - For the last time, that was their dog!

What were you training for? Army? Marines?

It's already dark out and Beth isn't back yet.

and it was beat to hell, but if it runs, I drive it back here,

- Beth? - Okay.

Those are hooves. Big ones too.

Help! Help! Help!

She is a goddamn nightmare. What were you thinking?

I could have broken a hip out there.

That is not normal.

I think all this might be my fault.