Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What a pleasant surprise.

I beg your pardon!

This isn't fucking happening! It's not happening!

- What's your name? - Theodore Pierce. Teddy. Ted.

Surprise of surprises.

That's a gorgeous animal you have there.

- What if I had a date? - You won't have a date.

What is it? Am I talking too much?

- He wasn't due back until Friday. - But it's only Wednesday.

Don't want to start a fire. They landed on the lamp.

- You know where I can buy some checkers? - That's embarrassing.

I know of this funny little place.

I'm just so tired, that's all. I just don't know if I can stay awake.

My mother and father are Jewish.

- Come on, Charlotte! - I won't be long.

Is it from Theresa?

Now, listen here, Teddy bear.

Came in with a cardigan. They wanted him to put on one of their jackets.

You're not like Joe.

It's a water bed.

- Want Campari and soda? - Yeah, that would be nice.

I'm not giving you a hard time. You either move the car, or I call the police.

...I met a cute, available...

Please! I won't be very long.

Crazy as it seems...

If anything like that ever happened to us...

His Daddy's little pee-pee started all this.

I don't know. She asked me to keep him for one night.

How old is that suit?

...but, boy, is he dumb!

He goes riding once a week in Golden Gate Park.

- Did you notice that she didn't have a bra? - What do I know, 'cause I see it every day?

- We never said we weren't assholes. - I said I was an asshole.

- Is Mr. Pierce there, please? - That's it, just like that.

This is really happening.

Tomorrow, 6:00, Tulio's.

Happy birthday to you

You better hurry. They moved the meeting up 15 minutes.

- Only at night? - Ask him.

...because it's a wonderful surprise.

You're going on your first date to your grandmother's?

This isn't a dream anymore.

Are you afraid?

What are they, Heads?

Thank you, but no.

- Joe, I'm right here. Will you talk to me? - She left me. I gotta kill her.

...the doctor says...

Didi, what was I gonna ask you?

There's nothing that I say that I can remember.

You must be joking! That's 100 feet down there.

...at the corner of Jones Street and Clay?

Finished with your drink, sir?

The only unpleasant surprise was that in two days...

The captain has just informed me that L.A. Airport is closed due to heavy fog.

Horseback riding?

Are you sure that you can't handle this by yourself, Richard?

I made a mistake, I learned my lesson...

- You're taking my little girl to see David Boowie? - Bowie.

Now, that takes 26 weeks.

Guess what he saw galloping through the fog?

You're a silly horse!

All right! Girls, go on. I'll be there in a minute.

Clean this up. Now I'm a cleaning man.

- He said he'd be back in just... - Jake!