Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT SLEEPNTRAINING YOUR CHILD AND JUDGY JILL JUMPS IN THE COMMENTS

And I don't appreciate it. Excuse me?

and I apologize, you'll let it go?

Hey, see you when the Cubs win the pennant.

of your crazy-assed, illogical overreactions.

It's my birthday. You don't control the radio on my birthday.

Let's order the entire room service menu.

Since when have you been a smoker?

He's 13 years old, for God's sake.

he'll love you forever.

This cupcake? You think I'm going to eat this cupcake?

Sorry, fucking Music Man.

Don't blink. Don't blink. (CHORTLING)

beats whatever Jack is running from on some fucking island.

We're gonna have a hard line in the kitchen.

Prince can fuck. Uh-huh.

This is why everybody hates you, Jill.

And we're starting with this meal that I prepared.

Did you guys come together? Are you a couple?

I remember when I was 40, and then I blinked,

What else are you lying about?

Are you hitting on me?

I've done everything I can, Pete.

Okay. Did you feed them?

And to Joseph and his mom. You made Joseph cry.

You have got to Benjamin Button it.

Okay, and no more smoking.

I have young children, you have young children.

It's hard to watch a band when you know all of them remember D-Day.

(GROWLS) Fuck you, Debbie.

I don't want her as a sister.

It was like kissing a baby.

and then drive around town, dragging you.

You and I don't spend enough time together, do we?

It's a hard time.

But what I'm saying is that you turned me into him.

Look, I can get it up. Just not that far up.

Why don't you pay for my bike and my face, you fucking prick?

That would be great. Okay, I'll call you. Great.

No, we haven't. Yes, we have.

Why? I don't know why.

but if you could do that for the next one, I'd be psyched.

Yeah, but I have a friend over.

Because he doesn't drive me crazy.

You stop having sex, there will be no more fights.

Do you know that this song, Pixies did this song,

Shark Week is fake.

I'll bring you the change.

Where are you going?

I'm focused on Graham Parker.

grow up green day!

if I didn't get pregnant 14 years ago?

No, we didn't come together. No, absolutely not.

I think I got something in there,

This song kicks off Doolittle, one of the best albums of the last 30 years.

See, it can happen to anybody.

Bodies By Daddy

What are you doing?

I do, but right now, look who I'm talking to.

Watch it, watch it!

how you have financial issues.

I'm almost done. I'll be down in a second.

and her body looks like her body.

I've been flushing as I go.

I don't know. Well, that is ridiculous.

All right, you know what? Don't be disrespectful.

my dream was to work with musicians and bands

Because you're the fighter.

Hello? There are children around.

What are you gonna do?

Did you say 8,000 or 80,000?

All right. Give him a kiss for me.

None of this talk is productive.

Steven Tyler, David Bowie, Mick Jagger...

It's true. Says who?

I think she just means in a general sense.

That's it. No phone, no computer.

(SING-SONGY) I love you.

Actually, none of us are.

Come on, we'll kill two of them.

or is it hormones and Lost?

Let me just grab the candy worms.

Them's lil' bitches. Bugging us for shit all the time.

and she landed on her feet.

Is it because you don't think I'm sexy?

Fly in The Rumour. Put it on my AmEx.

It just seems to me to be at the top of the surgery chain.

You just threw me under the bus.

Okay, and then no more holding onto resentments.

I'll be friends with her when she's 20 and a normal person.

Sexually, we're completely incompatible.

What do you mean?

Would you like to come on the table? I'm okay, I'm...

We're like Simon and Garfunkel

I mean, you're 60 years old. You have no money.

and then the whole family feels it. (STRUMS INSTRUMENT)

Should we watch porn when we eat the cookie?

and it's radiating my balls. I'll give you that. That makes sense.

You know what's the best quality my father has?

Am I doing what? I didn't start the toast.

That's in our DNA.

You're pregnant.

Will you stop, Dad?

PETE: This is awesome. DEBBIE: Oh, my God.

Because they don't know what "downloading" means.

That's the whole gang at Cabo.

And we need to work on our anger.

Just, please, get dressed.

We agreed to let go and forgive,

She has unrealistic expectations.

I want to write a fucking song right now.

I don't have a number. You just keep giving like you're giving.

Yeah, Billie Joe, I emailed him. He's a fan.

What? ...from 8:00 to 8:30 at night.

Mm-hmm. You guys should talk. I think you'll get along.

That's because of you.

Seven years? That's a joke, right?

I will fucking kill you.

Wait. You're not... Are you crying?

Charlotte just did her first flip on the trampoline

We were really proud of you.

It's nice. Come on. Show him.

You put this on yourself. You wanted the responsibility.

Let me give you a hug. Fantastic, congratulations.

Is that your new Acura out front?

Okay, let's fucking dance!

Do The Three Stooges routine you were practicing.

What financial problems?

Look at me. You cannot be lazy.

I don't think we need 24 hours of porn.

I'm about four feet in right now.

If she caught us, she would kill us.

I should put that on a Hallmark card. That's beautiful.

Keith Richards gets away with it.

她給客客氣氣惡

I'm not going through menopause.

I'll chew through you.

I don't look at porn like Wendy.

Don't sell yourself short like that.

And I balance what you lack and you make up for what I lack.

(GRUNTS) Oh, shit.

The Jewish Journal?

They're all dead.

DEBBIE: I miss them already. Should we go home?

Them's lil' bitches.

Nobody does that crap. It's 2012.

Hey, I'm Sadie's mom.

"Please, Oliver? I need a little more, sir."

Can I let Sadie show me the last episode of Lost?

SADIE: This isn't funny, Mom. I need to go!

Hi. It's your brother!

You can't just come into my house and reminisce.

"Somehow, ease his pain."

This Is 40 當天的演唱活動

I think he might like you.

PETE: That might be like a dry hump.

She was polite and she stood up for herself.

Quit slow-blinking at me.

And not throw it back in my face later?

Do you realize what that could do to her self-esteem?

You got it, Chief.

She's numb down there.