Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

That's not at all what I was gonna say.

Who's the baseball player that you talk about?

You could be playing Ethel.

That was a knockout dress.

- (audience laughter) - I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick.

- So I... - We need to re-block the dinner scene.

And I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about, Bill.

This conversation went poorly.

♪ Calla mientras la cuna se balancea ♪

- Lucy is working on the flowers. - We're cutting the flowers for time.

(plays gentle guitar riff)

You're not a pinup girl.

When the soldiers came

Settle. And action.

VIVIAN: I'm saying take it easy, that's all.

for the rest of the year while continuing to pay our contracts

I cannot go through that again.

Except I don't want to do My Favorite Husband.

but her publicist brought her a copy on Sunday night.

LUCY: How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky?

LUCILLE: I'll take a tetanus shot.

- Was everything all right in there? - Yeah.

Are there any grape vineyards around here?

"the number one show on television,

You did it in front of Desi is my point.

It was all my fault.

I said what I felt.

Back onstage for notes!

'cause your original question was...

Mr. Koerner isn't the president. He's the head of production.

I really don't know.

And Madelyn was a hundred percent right.

You think we're still filming a show?

But, yeah, he's insulted.

it was like her life depended on whether a joke was a "B" or "B"-plus.

We're all tense.

This isn't for beginners, you know. This isn't school.

♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪

After the testimony, they stamped "canceled" on the card,

- It was you, right? - Yeah.

how they pick the grapes, how they press the juice out with their feet.

♪ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♪

The Winchell broadcast?

taken this stuff seriously?

It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian, so, you know, of course.

♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪

I go out and meet him when he's touring, he brings me up for some sketches,

Instead, you tried to convince him he was the title character or some bullshit.

I need you to help me save my marriage.

- Ah, yes, of course. - (laughter continues)

- Is everything all right? - WILLIAM: The three of us

Fellas, can we, um...

Well, is this the right week for this shit?

You hanging in there?

RICKY: I thought you said they weren't speaking to each other.

What are you doing?

JESS: We'll get there. The point is

I'm about to make you less comfortable.

They will, but you'll need a busload of orthopedists when they land.

- Quiet please! - Quiet please!

and covers her eyes with his hands."

I mean, they just cheered for you out there.

I don't mean literally cutting the flowers in the scene...

- No, we don't. - Maybe we don't. It's hard to say.

We have to establish right away that I'm setting a fancy table.

(audience laughter)

Will you tell us your name please?

- No. - Do you understand the conditions

It's not good for you.

He devised the camera system that we use.

I still don't know why they did that.

I called the chairman of the committee.

That's why we're holding.

- Oh! - Guess who it is.

At the top, it should be clear

(audience laughter)

That's the guy's niece.

our groundbreaking camera system that allows the studio audience

She's right. You look great.

Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid named Rusty Thomas?

The reviews were valentines, and I didn't bang a drum.

- "Oh, yeah?" (chuckles) - Yeah, that's good. That's good.

Hey, is now a good time?

Scheduling problems.

The writers can get some fun out of this.

Let's just forget about this for a half hour.

You'd be more concerned about what?

I like this a lot, Tommy.

Lucy doesn't acknowledge him.

♪ And now see how happy they are ♪ (chuckles)

♪ A la nanita nana, nanita ella ♪

You don't love me, and I don't love you,

♪ Of Latin romance ♪

We did. It's television.

We'll work on that.

- Got it. - Hmm.

Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke for the second act.

- No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago. - (sighs)

the one with all the names.

Don't panic. It's simple.

You made the joke. I just put the button...

Come with me for a drink.

Lucy, you need to tell me right here and now what the hell is going on.

I don't hire the directors.

"Do you think I'd call him and go crawling back?"

You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously indifferent."

♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪

OLDER BOB: There was a Broadway show

- There were a number of obstacles. - That's accurate.

They'd meet at the top of Mulholland.

Before the table read. You told them I checked the wrong box.

Scheduling problems.

I got some modeling work, I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl

♪ So full of spice ♪

I'm the one trying, every week, to...

Can't get better till it gets bad.

who routinely walk into their apartment?

We'll know when it's on its feet.

She thinks she's being fixed up with an eligible guy.

It was a tribute to him, and to say that I checked the wrong...

You see the problem?

Walk me to the stage. We're an hour behind.

Jesus Christ, I just proved out there that the Herald-Express got it wrong.

Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp had scheduling problems,

(thunder rumbling softly)

I wasn't making myself clear?

Where's that been?

Does Ricky honestly, truly believe that there might be eight different men

I'll send someone to pick up my clothes, okay?

They're running a caption that says, "Note the cancellation at left."

Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show.

(audience laughter)

- (whispers): Just tell me. - Tell me why you think...

- WILLIAM: To what? - The dinner scene.

It's not like you've suddenly given voice to your feelings.

In the meantime, please remember that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel,

She sometimes, for the sake of comedy, is infantilized.

Miss Rosen, will you come in please, with a pad and pen?

Kind of people go to a bar on a Wednesday morning?

- He doesn't have to. - He...

("Cuban Pete" playing)

they're chasing the original testimony, something,

"What? You think I'd allow my pride..." Hmm.

For the sake of the joke, the audience will take the leap with us.

She takes a pitcher and pours water into the vase...

And, yes, I would.

- It's over now. - Thank you.