Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- ...heh, I talked to Mr. Rodriguez last week. - Oh.

What are you thinking about?

That's not what I do. That's not me. It is what I do, but it's not who I am.

It's time for me to go stare in the mirror anyway.

Uh, it's a little under $2500. Uh, that's 400 better than last week.

MIKE: What do you mean, fuck that? ADAM: I got that equity, baby.

Hey, you might want to check yourself, old friend.

ADAM: I fucking love you.

America. People. Stupid.

You are the husband that they never had.

- Really? - Yeah. I think you're right. I'm done.

Let's go get something to eat.

I got you your money.

On three, you're going to stick it.

Big Dick, they are still devastated by your cock.

And I'm having a fucking ball.

- Calm down. - No, shut up. Shut up!

ADAM: Dallas gave me that cut in Miami, whoo!

It's not working anymore.

In couldn’t be! (SOBBING)

We've been talking a lot about the markets.

MIKE: Oh, what are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing...

[WHISPERING] Is that Paul?

- Are we fighting? - Ha, ha.

And finally....

TITO: Yeah. - Motherfucker.

You better take care of him, Mike.

Couldn't resist the lure of the roofing business?

- ...if you really want to host. ADAM: Host what?

Right. I mean, it's slightly different when you're doing Medicaid claims...

- Is he all right? - Yeah, he's okay.

I can't thank you enough. NNY

What the fuck is this?

DICK: I could be a friend to you. TARZAN: Ha, ha.

...Saturday afternoon...

Hey, I-- uh, thanks. Thanks for bringing him back.

Yeah, she was there during your act.

MIKE: My dick. You got them off Craigslist? SAL: Heh.

KEN: How you kids doing tonight?

You look around. You tease.

KEN: Hey, y'all. It's all right.

CARLA: Are you serious? Wow. MIKE: As a fucking heart attack.

Stay away from the elephant socks, bro. That's Dallas shit.

No. We've already had a few drinks, so....

MIKE: Yes. Okay. - Whoo.

- I've been waiting for this for a long time. - It's all yours. Come here.

All right, now I got an announcement to make.

- We can't get drinks. LIZ: Ha, ha.

[RINGSIDE'S MONEY PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

...and processing insurance forms as well. I get it.

It was a good move, heh.

I could make it worth your while.

Five hundred bones to rub our nuts...

Okay. All right, I'll call you later.

Can you touch this?

Thank you. Grab one.

All right, I ain't got that much time, so I'm calling in my favor, all right?

All the way. Let's go. Kid's in, Mike's out.

...because you, baby, you made it legal. You are the liberation.

So are you going to open up--?

I have a very good voice. I do great impressions.

If everything goes well and we get these girls jacked up...

It's not gonna happen.

Heh, absolutely.

You're on props tonight.

[BIG & RICH'S SAVE A HORSE (RIDE A COWBOY) PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

TITO: Perfect date time.

Listen, man. I couldn't even have dreamed all this shit up without you.

BROOKE: For work? Adam, don't fucking lie to me, man.

I told them not to break shit, but they don't work for me.

Sorry? Fuck you, man.

DALLAS [SINGING]: Ladies of Tampa

We're gonna do it together, we're gonna do it just like we always said.

Now I'm going to tell you why.

Besides, you know how much I love to eat.

That's a quality endorsement, my friend.

But I see a lot of haters in this house tonight

Oh, you're not so bad.