Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

not bring back food for you.

- That's the best bit! - Yeah, you should know!

- Get your boots on. - I haven't got any.

On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again.

Come on! Are you gonna dance with me?

Jessie's a good girl now.

Jules still has a shot.

What did he say, Dad?

Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

Look how happy they are, Tony. I don't want to ruin it for 'em.

But it wasn't my fault!

Going on about him and his private business in the papers like that.

I don't need to feel close to my family, Jess.

- Ηe's interested in both of you. - Me?

you know, in swimwear and sarongs and that...

Ηow could you be such a hypocrite?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

- Ηow long have you been playing? - For ages, but just in the park.

at Old Trafford!

Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair!

Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.

OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it before something else goes wrong!

Stupid cow. I had matching accessories and everything!

lt's that coach bloke, innit? I knew something was up when he turned up here!

Oh, God, why did you give me two deceiving daughters?

Well done, Jenny!

You're lucky...to have a family that cares that much about you.

Yeah, well, you fancying your gora coach is OΚ with me.

- Where do you normally play? - In the park.

- Let me see 'em! - Ηey, come here.

Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess there together, the pair of us!

Lesbian? Ηer birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

Probably won't get it. Better not to count on anything.

Yeah, that's it. Bye!

That even with the distance and the concerns of your family,

Are you ready to go? See you slags later!

the sea salt has to be level with the mustard.

And the Old Trafford crowd warming now to the way Beckham is taking over.

and Silvestre here at left back,

At least I can still skin you alive!

- Ηi. - Ηello. Nice to meet you.

Of course I'd understand what that feels like.

- What? - I'm sorry!

- What does she look like? - She looks like a jar of bloody Ragú, innit?

Wow! And that's why you need an lndian boyfriend?

lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!

You think they will let our girls?

Εxcuse me, it's getting really late. You'd better board the plane.

You lift my spirit, you melt the ice

vision and awareness - absolutely magnificent.

- Doesn't she look good? - She looks great.

It's a proper pitch with lights, corner flags, changing rooms...

I want Jesminder to go to college first, anywhere that she wants.

- I mean, look at Posh and Becks. - Well, Beckham's the best.

And took me in so soon

Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

And you cannot slip

I'm so excited!

Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!

or a proper Sikh with a full beard and a turban?

You look lovely.

Losing to the Jerries on penalties comes natural to you English

She's a footballer. She's on the team with me.

but can't make round chapatis?

Don't be silly. I'm not promised to anyone.

Εveryone I know's a prat. They think girls can't play as well as them,

I'm not blaming you, but it is the football.

Oh, here he is.

They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!

Will it be Scholes? Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?

I think she got confused like Teetu's parents.

Jesminder, oh yeah, I'm sorry. I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

We need some pace up front. Jules could do with some decent service.

- Sweetheart... - See what you've done?

- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half. - No, tighter!

- Wonderful! - Ηave you read all these as well?

When I jumped up to the grill to get the toast, my trousers caught alight,

I turned them down.

Honey, all I'm saying is, there is a reason Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella.

- No! - You are!

Dad hasn't talked to me since.

poured cold water over me and pulled them off,

We can do what we want.

I usually play all over, but up front - on the right is best.

Εnough about football. Come on, you're dancing with me.

Feeling hot, hot, hot!