Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

So I grab one of my grenades off my belt,

Irene, thank you for the weather forecast.

our own ex-president. What do you got there, Dick?

# I make money talking about the joke in my underpants #

No. Sit behind me in the tub.

First we got to build an audience. Heh.

Now let me say something.

Robert DeNiro...

$150,000 a year.

Yes, honey, of course you're on the air.

They're trying to break us apart. They're trying to beat us.

Ross Buckingham.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Everything I do is misunderstood.

I'm so tahitzed.

You've gotta listen to Imus.

Oh, yeah. Please.

I tried every fucking thing I could fucking think of

I'm about 3 days away from being fired, the way I figure it.

Hi. You know who I am? Yeah, I'm Stuttering John.

We got some great tunes for you this morning,

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, you were so young.

When he shares our most personal details of our life together

# Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs... #

Immediately disconnect Stern's microphone,

and I'll rub your shoulders from back here.

He'd leave at 7:00 in the morning, get home around midnight or something.

The young man from Washington that we...

Well, I'm glad you asked me that.

[Caller Moans, Howard Hums]

Now, why is that?

Still be doing radio, you know.

I ain't done too badly myself.

Should I trade half my money for 10 times as much sex?

Howard: I got to tell you, with all this carrying on,

talking about me, Howard Stern.

I don't understand them at all.

OK, you start tomorrow.

Don't you want to know, Robin?

Thanks for nothing. Gino, let the donkey go.

Let me tell you something...

- Excuse me. - Yes?

Yeah, she just said pussy.

You have a transistor radio, or you have one of those big sound systems?

show us some characters. OK?

Having trouble with your woman?

who was murdered 2 years ago today. Lennon's killer...

The entire kielbasa is going down.

The grand opening is this...

you got to put this hand up, OK?

Robin, it's everybody's salary on his desk.

He makes us sound like a bunch of idiots on the radio.

You have to have some verbal ability.

# Howard Stern, WNBC #

I'm begging you.

and she sees me looking at her.

When I'm through whipping him,

How about that?

That was interesting.

Was my voice too deep doing that?

I think Howard would appreciate it if you would do it for us.

his mother killed his sister,

Well, I'm not really married anymore.

maybe I should just say it, just blurt it out, you know?

And the station manager says we are gonna be

- Howard! - Caller: Do what?

# I'll take you there #

But you are a great programmer. Here, payday.

He's Pig Vomit.

require my personal approval.

It's great to meet you.

I don't want to fire him. You fire him.

She had nothing to do with the bit.

Reporter: What you're about to hear is going to shock you

Sans panties, sans bra.

swallow an entire 13- inch kielbasa?

Your husband's quite a character.

They thought I knew what I was doing. This was great.

You know, unless he quits,

Dee Dee, I don't believe it.

My program director Pig Vomit

and occasionally you are real funny,

I'm gonna grab this guy's hat,

down in Florence, Alabama.

and I stayed on the air, and I made a lot less money?

Howard, how about you have a seat?

My girlfriends think i'm crazy for letting you behave like that on the air.

and it's number 4 in the state,

Good, but don't answer it.

It would be amazing.

Alison, if I don't talk about you and me on the air...

Ooh. [Clears Throat]

And then you look at him, and he's in the formaldehyde jar.

Hey fuck you who wants rest of your popcorn

None of it means anything. It's empty...

that usually gets me into trouble.

I know someone on this block. Let me think.

In my mind, I'm hearing...

Howard: I'm just thinking for a minute.

I got some music for you now at DC 101.

We would have sex, like, 10 times a day. You would love it.

We never played catch or went to ball games.

Yeah. What happened?

Well, anyway, she's dead.

I've been smacked around by Morton Downey,

You know what I like about you?

I can't talk right now.

I can't even walk in and get my hair done

This Disney/Spectrum dispute

No, I was... quite comfortable.

and you're licking whipped cream off a kielbasa,

Howard, it was a home run.

I've been single for exactly 6 hours.

Howard, seriously, come on.

Let's play our game now, OK? Shall we?

I don't know what I was in, Robin,

We are a team, for God's sakes.

That's great news. Thanks, Kenny. I gotta go.

It'll never happen again, Kenny.

Do you want to tell us about that?

because nobody knew who I was.

We hope to hear from you tomorrow...

I bear no grudge against Howard Stern.

I had 11 kills in Vietnam,

So either way, we win.

Lookin' forward to working with you.

So bad. So horrible.

Moti: Tell Dickie Davis Howard wants to see him now.

Kinda lift, that N BC.

You and Robin must not talk to each other on the air.

if Howard would have listened to me,

I have a theory that he is the one

This is the Duke of rock saying,

Both: Oh, no! It's Lucy!

Betty Jean, hi. It's Howard Stern,

Give that to me.

"When attempting to score with a babe,

3 seconds, I'd be finished.

Keep it moving!

and we should go somewhere else.

and I never drove a truck

Now it's gonna get a little rougher, OK?

that Howard Jr.'s in a formaldehyde jar.

so that I'll know on which day you'll be doing which bit.

all the way down your throat.

I'm just going to go dry my hair.

You're not going to get bashful on me now, are you?

because I know you feel the same exact way I do about NBC

You know, I think... I don't know.

[Game Show Music Plays]

Quit? If I quit, they win.

[Gravelly Voice] Hi, Gene.

She doesn't even know me,

# I can't dance #

where he would give a new toilet

Just about the time my puppet career ended,

We're gonna take a break. We'll get back to making out with the lesbians