Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

so we're gonna have to practice it.

I wanted this to be the biggest moment

Yeah. Yeah, ma?

Hi. How you doing?

My life sucked,

But you come on time, and you are good worker, huh?

to get on the microphone in a serious manner

And... And you're a great actress and everything,

I've been in here for 8 years, cuttin' his friggin' potato!

Come on. What's the big deal?

That's what you liked?

What can I say? This is unbelievable, you know.

Howard, you stink.

And... And as far as my taking his rectal temperature

#... A boy could give you #

# Shut up your mouth, That is your daddy #

No more $96 a week.

without even hearing him on the air?

Tsk. Give us a break. It'll take a second.

Could you start with my shoulders?

You gotta go to a different hair shop or something.

Gimme the damn phone.

WCCC, FM 107 and AM 1290.

What's your problem?

"into your pants

actually has some theater experience as well, don't you, Ross?

to remember former Beatle John Lennon,

I think it's very funny.

Wake everybody up.

Right here on your left.

[Black Sabbath's Paranoid Plays]

Lisa. Hi, how you doing?

You know, I got to tell you something. When I was a child,

and say it was our grandchild,

Ooh, you know what? You know... Oh, man.

We'll be right back

I told them I wanted to talk to you off the air.

Howard: Back then,

Have you lost your mind?

and my thoughts are right in the gutter.

I never would have even called his wife on the air

Honey, you are doing it.

I never approved that script, God damn it, Howard!

I know how to give a man pleasure.

Now, what I need you to do is put your private area over the woofer.

the ex-president of the United States, Mr. Richard Nixon.

When you walk in, lesbians all over the place, right?

Howdy, cowpokes.

[Country Music Playing]

Shut up! You know why.

I'll tell you this much.

I just want to say one thing.

by Eugene Mama Look-a boo boo day.

- You don't look like an elephant. - I do.

I'm calm. I am perfectly calm.

- Daddy! - Daddy!

My parents would take me through there, and we just had a great time.

you are the motherfucking antichrist

but his penis size is fine.

Hi. Hey, How you doing?

did you ever work with a kielbasa?

That's what's missing.

and he told me that when he was little,

Howard: Behold, I am Fartman.

Is Howard here?

That station, you guessed it, is WNBC...

Aw, Gene, don't have...

Oh, really? Well, let's see if we can't help you with your problem.

...Radio waves high above America...

Um, this if for the Howard Stern movie.

In a way that I gotta figure out what I'm gonna be.

And do you want to know something?

and give me a massage while she is nude.

I think it's rather revealing.

Come on, Kenny. Why don't you open up?

Oh, come on, man. Don't listen to Kenny.

You can't go firing them.

Oh, whoa. Anyway, I was calling

- How you doing? - Oh, hey, Kenny.

I think it's very humiliating.

# You got me so I can't sleep at night #

Page 108, paragraph 3:

Hi. I'm Robin Quivers, your newswoman.

But, honey, you're in the middle of interrupting a beautiful, sexy moment.

Nothing but crap.

You got me moaning.

Don't push your luck, Howard.

# Oh! Oh! Oh! #

I brought in a cup of Blackswell's semen.

And we could walk out with tons of stuff

Um, we're shooting a movie.

Don't hurt yourself getting over there.

I didn't want to tell you this,

I can't wait, Howard.

I must tell you, though, we have to end this fun right now.

Just fire him, huh?

I don't want to get fired, so, uh, I guess I lied to you,

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Mia Farrow.

Can you come around my sides?

"Howard goes to Hartford and becomes the wacky morning man at WCCC."

this has been a really great flight.

# Who feel that life is but a joke #

Well, I've reached my limit.

and we'd get a real place together.

You came late yesterday.

and, you know, it's funny,

It's not yentas, Howard. It's everybody.

This is my gift to you, New York...

and I end up feeling like an asshole.

We're almost set.

I think we deserve to.

Privately, for us.

And I'm not saying that to pressure you.

"make sure to wear tight pants.

That is true, too. I didn't consider that.

America's first network.

[Bouncy Puppet Music]

We're gonna take him out of this office, we'll bring him home,

to kill Pig Vomit finally.

Well, it takes a Dick to know a cock, and that's what I wrote.

Alison: I'm pregnant.

And then I hit puberty.

The way it's said properly is...

A woman cannot be aroused in that way.

Well, this just came from the FCC.

How could you do that? Do you think that was funny?

# Biddi-biddi-biddi-biddi #

I'd like you to memorize the names of the local high schools.

that you're so incapable of being supportive.

You're supposed to listen to me.

# Hard charger... #

Take a seat. I'll Tell you what happened.

No. I have a lot of reading to catch up on,

because you know your body would reject it

What you see this guy he hardly worked in this movie at all yakking yakking hah

but I want you to stick around,

Robin Leach says we should move to Antigua.

You know what we're gonna do?

You have a sharp ass.

Our entire Washington radio audience has disappeared.

And I've never told anyone this before...

A woman on the air had an orgasm.

Your job is to make them fetch, eh?

[Julie Chuckles] Oh, you know it, Howard.

And what are you gonna do with it?

Program director?

and pretty soon, I was spreading joy throughout the community.

Oh, hi. My hair's wet.

Blank a-doodle-doo.

I finally got up the courage