Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

How would you know what's funny, anyway?

She hates me. She thinks I'm total scum.

I'm gonna play a record. DC 101.

Excuse me for a second.

Just fucking records! It's just this fucking place.

I could have sex with you standing up.

I'm very, very honored right now

Oh, my goodness.

you had every teenager in the country eating out of your hand.

All right, now, Let's keep going.

Oh, my God. Look at that.

I mean, the way they were screaming,

I've done quite a bit of light comedy in my younger years.

to... Mr. Howard Stern.

I'm just doing what he told me, that's all.

but I'm an ugly man. I know this.

the counseling center says there's a communications program

are you ready for this?

I grow on you like a fungus.

Would you mind rubbing them for a minute?

Howard: Can I use your hair dryer?

But he was really onto something,

Just like the boys, Gene, I've got cock.

OK? So on the air is not for you.

[Sighs] I'm hot.

but I understand there's already been a problem?

- Oh, my God. - This is Gary.

The nominees for best actor are...

she actually invites me

You two are just adorable together,

Hoo. Uh, well, we decided that Detroit has too many rock stations,

Oh, baby, yes! Right there. Ohh!

Howard's Mother: Howard?

You look! See that?! Blood, Stern!

I don't want to get that.

Howard: I love you.

I mean, it was fait accompli.

You have the radio show,

You pick up the phone, and it rings right into my booth.

Gabba gabba gabba gabba...

he wouldn't have time to put on pants.

It was 'cause I was making a kid.

I'm gonna gargle with this

All right. You go first.

Not the myth, but the man.

It's an equation from hell.

All right. So getting back to what I was talking about...

Thank God you're back, 'cause the show sucked without you.

Naked Woman: I've been thinking about you, too.

This is Howard.

it's gonna cost half a million dollars

- No way. - No, they do.

I know I can do that. I have that ability.

Man, I'd love to have a stereotype like that.

And in a couple of months, we're gonna try to have a baby again,

of The Howard Stern Show.

You're so blessed.

You're pathetic.

Fuck you till your asshole

She, like, signals for me to go with her.

He was obnoxious.

Hi. Hi, I'm Camille,

That's right. And then what?

Hundreds of people gathered in Central Park this afternoon

OK. That's it. That's it!

[Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever Plays]

Hi, I'm Howard Stern.

Hi. Al, you home?

Who would've thought?

Just tell me that you're ready. Are you ready?

Howard, not everything is for your audience.

Howard: Alison's not coming to Detroit.

and I would work very hard for this company

It had nothing to do with you.

I've been coughing all day.

and I'm telling you, I really should've had more.

You know what? You know what you are, Stern?

was the most unprofessional and insulting experience of my life.

You say a lot of offensive things,

Alison: No. I'm pregnant.

But this guy wrote a good book.

Sure, come on in.

Well, I've done it. Now the cat's out of the bag.

- Go up and get in... - OK.

and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.

Beats me. No one wants to work with him.

at WNBC radio here in New York City.

Ooh, look at that bra. Where did you get that?

Hey. How was it?

why do they listen?

Ohh! Beautiful. You're a work of art. Did you know that?

Howard On TV: I am Officer Howie,

Listen, I want you to fire Dickie Davis.

and, I mean, it's a legitimate film.

The average Howard Stern fan listens for...

That's the way you are, you know?

Oh, yes, I can, Howard.

is my life mate, my soul mate, my love mate.

Shut up! You disgust me!

Come on, you're gonna have to move.

I can always count on you for help, man.

Alison, this is Howard. Howard, this is Alison.

And don't criticize Washington.

It's not your fault. It was a lame station.

Behold, the greatest. That is me.

um, is a great place to go.

Oh, it's not funny?

CCC, AM 1290, FM 107...

Wider and kind of...

We should be taken off the air.

# Cat scratch fever... #

occasional showers, and precipitation.

You know, Robin, let me interrupt for a second.

and take me to work with him.

My guess is we'll get coverage from 200, maybe 300...

Hey, that's kind of wild.

Uh, but I'll tell you,

I'm gonna hit you back.

Now, see, I don't care about what you did down in Washington,

Ohio is number 2 & 3 in the market..

Look, watch this.

By the powers vested in me

This is Cheap Trick.

And that's so healthy. It's such a good way to look at it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Husband: What do you mean? You are doing it.

I'll see what I can do.

You have who outside?

No, no, don't push. Just breathe deeply.

Why don't you explain to my audience

Well, you must have felt fabulous.

Come on, guys. Wrap it up. They're not doing it.

I had no idea what I was doing,

You're an asshole!

a little menage a trois tonight?

Reporter: Love him or hate him,

It's just like going swimming.

[Cheap Trick Song Plays]

Is it Monaco or Mon aco?

I thought you were going to control this guy.

Anyway, her head went through the windshield.

He hit me, Robin. He's hitting me.

And you know, maybe it's a little premature.

Overnight, I become the big boss.

The donkey's not part of the act.

It is so late. I got to get to bed.

I don't want to do it anymore.