Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I really think this show's starting to take off.

I can't believe how late I am.

which is a good sign, I think.

Yeah, what were you?

I mean, Howard complains that his penis is too small,

Well, she's a Hollywood actress.

I think you've been loyal to every person you've ever worked with.

OK, I know what you're saying.

He's been very successful, and God bless him.

out to, uh, her new movie. It was really good.

You know, we could name the baby and everything. Clumpy... Clumpy Stern.

And thank you, Mr. Announcer.

stick around for the new guy Howard Stern

to create the appearance of having a large penis."

just keep him on the line.

the most aggressive radio station in Detroit.

I hate going out.

Even if I'd put you in the hospital

winds out of the northwest.

I'm Moti, station manager.

You're not getting the phone from me, Kenny.

A real man would have done it right the first time.

Woman Caller: Hi, is this Howard Stern?

Naked Woman: Well, after the show,

I told you I work spontaneously. I think that I...

As a disc jockey, you're... you're shit... ha ha ha ha...

# There must be some kind of way out of here #

You got a great body. Let everybody see it.

In fact, we're designing a more restrictive program

Oh, yeah, he's been terrific.

It'll just take 2 seconds.

Come on, Pig Vomit.

This isn't funny, Howard.

All right, enough of this nonsense.

but she started making a lot of sense.

Robin: Oh, goodness, what's going on?

to New York's newest disc jockey.

Kenny: I have, uh, Howard Stern outside.

and they screwed me. We gotta get back in there and beat them.

Hi, everybody. My name is Gene Sternburn,

Get out of here!

at first I really thought I'd won them over.

My name is Howard Stern,

Are we off the air?

Answer most commonly given:

What would you do?

our ratings actually improved,

Come on! How can you say that?

One of them actually killed himself,

if you want to talk about this.

you're saying about us, you understand?

without people looking at me like, "Oh, God, that poor little thing."

Howard Stern was lured away from Washington by a New York City station.

or other bodily functions."

- Man's a... - [Jackhammer]

Listen, I know I've been a real pain in the butt, OK?

I really got to go.

# Girl, you really got me now #

Would you, please? Would you give us a record,

In any language, pussy.

You shaved your mustache.

I should be talking about my personal life.

# Plowmen dig my earth... #

So, it's not too bad, you know?

[David Bowie's Let's Dance Plays]

so I guess I was kind of curious to meet him.

They're gonna be lining up 10 in a row.

Wow! He's getting awfully personal this morning.

Beautiful. Beautiful. I don't believe it.

I wanted everyone to wake up the next morning

Thanks. I appreciate it.

I just gotta get touched.

Well, I'm gonna set up lunch...

Yeah, sure. Of course.

I have the little TV show here.

you didn't stand behind me.

That would be it, sir.

# Ooh-ooh-ooh dee dee #

He's everything and anything to me, Mr. Blackswell.

Woman In Movie: Hello?

Honey, if you're up there now,

uh, vivacious...

Could you turn the treble all the way down

I am making a baby!

[Crowd Chants "Howard"]

[Lmitating Dog]

I'm not kidding around... You are beautiful,

But I refuse to work with this man one minute longer.

But you got to admit, it was a funny bit.

if it wasn't going right... you know?

Robin: Howard! You're married.

Senior year... Big year for me.

Oh, hello. How are you?

What the hell is she doing?

She could walk around with your father and little Clumpy pictures.

I was in. This was it.

Hey, everybody!

None of it. What the fuck is it?

It's cold, real cold,

But I'm saying I was in the 103rd.

Hold the sign nice and low.

L... I think I quit.

Howdy, partner.

What you see this guy he hardly worked in this movie at all always on the phone yakking yakking yakking Hah

The lovely and talented Fartman, ladies and gentlemen.

I mean, no one realizes I got to be up

# And nothing's bad as it may seem... #

in praise of me!

Yeah, I had everything I ever wanted in life, you know.

[Crowd Chants "Howard"]

Stop that. Stop.

I'm making a film for my film class,

[Overemphasizing] W N BC.

This is Donna Porter with us on the show,

It's baby time! I'm ready to give you a baby.

Come over here. You want to sit down on this couch?

- Is this one crap? - Don't be a moron.

You can't blame a radio station. It's my screwup.

I'm in the middle of important show research.

The average radio listener listens for 18 minutes.

E'I AMAR BARI ! GET THE FUCK OUT KHANKI KUKUR

He wants to be on radio.

Appreciate it, Robin.

Now let's go to our newest member

That seemed like the obvious answer.

I have no bulge in my crotch. I have a small penis.

on the Howard Stern Experience,

I smell smoke. Are you smoking in there?

Howard: I had, like, no listeners,

I just need to rest. I need to get some sleep.

Come on back here, hold this sign...

It's an equation from hell.

It wasn't my fault.

I'm looking forward to joining the team.

I just realized, uh... that makes no sense what I just said.

People of New York...

Oh, boy, do I feel stupid.

2021, GET THE FUCK OUT!

You're gonna ruin this woman's mood.

I don't care, 'cause I love the taste of a man. Ooga.

and all scripts... and I do mean all scripts...

I mean, think about what a burden that is.

beautifully big-breasted Robin Quivers. I love her.

and he proved this theory years ago.

Anyway, Pig Vomit says to me,

Hi. Is this Betty Jean Rushton?

# My mind was achin' #

the first time I was ever on stage with a 12-inch kielbasa.

Oh, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard.

and every fundamentalist group in this country hates my guts,

Tell me, uh, what's going on in the traffic?

You're completely on fire about having a baby.

and I was not saying the call letters right.

because it's vulgar and obscene.

Put me in charge of the Stern show.

Orioles over the Red Sox 3-2 last night,

Ooh, now, that's hot.

It's great to see you.

You pick music.

No. They just thought I was an idiot.

Kind of weird, you know?

I need a life that is ours, that belongs to us.

[Disco Music Plays]

And this is Howard's first job interview.

There's nobody listening.

Howard Stern: You know, when I look back on this moment in my life,

I told you, shut up.

What a fucking jerk.