Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You re not halfway even done yet

Howard, Lisping: Ooo-ey, that's me.

Excuse me. Mentally challenged.

Thank you very much.

It's time for The Match Game.

He's the hottest d.j. In New York.

to the funeral on Saturday, but...

I don't know. Something in me just snapped.

Wow. You gotta love that, folks.

"All of Hollywood can kiss my ass,"

and I'm your host Symphony Sid.

# My life's a wreck #

- Good to see you. - Good to see you, too.

All right, there it is. Cock, cock, cock.

A fully integrated educational institution,

He's number one in the market.

What did you have? Blank willow.

Chuck, will you show him the numbers.

You understand me? A point and a half higher than lmus.

There it is, cock-a-doo... do me a favor

Please, that's way too personal.

Well, Howard, I was 18.

Why do we live in Roosevelt when you work in New York?

Kenny. Howard Stern.

Huh. You know what? Maybe some other time.

Well, either I'll tame him,

Alison... She's the best friend I could ever have.

listens for 21/2 hours a day.

and you're gonna hear how he does it. Come on, boy.

Oh, yeah? Come on, hurry up.

I hope it's not too tangy.

First of all, what kind of radio are you listening to us on?

When you drop, don't spin around

[Van Halen's You Really Got Me Plays]

You couldn't be physically attracted to me, could you?

The author has slept with over 16,000 women,

"No use of the so-called 7 dirty words.

He comes to me.

Are we ready in there, Freddy Boy?

You're not even old enough to have been in Vietnam.

4 times every 15 minutes, not 3. 4.

Oh, yes, harder. Please give it to me, please.

Now, because I had such a minuscule schlonger,

Pfft, I've seen this look before,

What the hell is this donkey here for?

my wife calls in?

because, see, you don't have a real good voice

Howard, your father wants to see you downstairs.

Wow. Thank you. Oh, my.

I just couldn't have been happier.

Right. And I was working at a summer camp.

Do it. Be a man.

You've finally done it.

# We did not want to share... #

Absolutely not. This could be a fluke.

because we have some great panelists.

and already she's got a job working with a bunch of wackos.

Let me tell you something. There are roaches the size of dogs here.

I'll tell you... Howard Stern, man.

Kill, Kill, Kill...

It's a big problem,

and killing a kid should be just as good as killing an adult.

I think something's wrong.

# Oh, the canvas can do miracles #

Joe has a message for Trump Donald get the fuck out

clarify the situation for him, please.

OK, let's have a little music, Phil.

I bear no grudge against David King... David King can kiss my ass in HELL!

So we gave them some characters, right?

It's Howard over in the air studio.

Works best when I'm in a hot bath.

Was it the Chinese guy calling in for the Doobie Brothers tickets?

I got something to say to you.

you are themotherfucking antichrist

but this is, like, one line,

# Hard charger #

More. More. Ohh!

We have a lot of excitement in the air today

I got to go all the way.

I am just trying to run a radio station.

Time for the news.

All right. Now, let's get into it.

disc jockeys are dogs.

Did you miss me? Mmm!

Hey, Patricia Fonfara, meet Howard Stern. Your newslady.

# Biddi-biddi-biddi... #

No, it's Fartman!

- but that goddamn son of a bitch... - [Jackhammer]

Well, he's going to his first job interview in New York.

You have the look of love in your eyes,

You know what? You're getting baby fever here.

Yeah. It's the number one mall in Colbert County,

Well, Gene, I didn't write it too neat,

In fact, my father was a radio engineer,

Says she'd rather quit.

Just put it right through as soon as you can.

- I've never said this before. - [Music Plays]

This person is coming here to work at our flagship station?

Thank you. I love you, God.

I'm all ears, Howard. Let's hear it.

That is the first naked lady in the history of radio.

[Sniff Sniff Sniff]

Thank you, Howard.

Please. It really hurts.

I know. You thought I was a disgusting, sexist, racist pig

I turned to drugs.

Now, push! Push!

Hey, let me ask you something, Ross.

# Just you wait and see... #

- What were you again? - I was a captain.

It's a show business donkey.

Alison: Am I on the air?

Absolutely refuses.

Howard: I see. That's very interesting.

and she's here to talk about life in the theater,

This is God with the weather on DC 101.

I'm escorting this woman around,

I'll be right back.

I don't know if that's OK or not.

I mean, Fred seemed to really like me.

You know, I'm thinking about...

DC 101. Good morning. This is Howard Stern.

Well, then I guess you better take them off.

You played poison, I don’t need you.. fired.

And the Howard Stern program.

# I'm a hard charger #

You know what I would do to you physically?

How about that! LeBron James, Huh?!

# She had the sexiest eyes #

because I am New York's first ever gay disc jockey.

Get a grip on yourself!

I want to kill Mark David Chapman.

She's the voice of reason.

You know, I've heard black men complain

There ain't no God while Howard Stern's walking the earth,

He criticizes us on television.

at 4:00 in the morning in that radio station.

[Saying Call Letters]

And the first thing you've gotta do

[Jimi Hendrix's All Along The Watchtower Plays]

It's an equation from hell.

Look at me, Robin. Robin...

I guess she forgot to close the door.

I could do that.

That's why we drove here from Jersey.

Denzel Washington...

[Lmitates Ringo] How you doin', me love?

We did not have sex on our first date,