Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, I can't do that.

And now... something for a blue Sunday.

Yes, you do, you big idiot scumbag.

See, he doesn't actually say the bad thing himself.

No, Ma. There's no smoke in here.

but it's clear that she's totally disgusted by me.

You're a moron. Now shut up and sit still.

The only thing on my mind, Gene,

and I just went for it.

Yes. You know about this?

Start again. Here we go.

But why can't I play with my puppets?

Howard. How you doing, man?

Will everyone just sit down?

and then Robin will analyze me when we get back from this song.

I know you're very, very proud

but I took a polaroid of the toilet.

It's the single worst moment in radio history.

To be quite honest, I didn't really want to be a programmer.

The problem is that when I needed you,

That's my kid up there.

It's a plane...

And I said to my wife, "Honey, don't be upset

I think a lot of us were moved last night.

Yes, because he looks like a pig,

Robin: Congratulations, Howard.

Turns you on, doesn't it, you little maggot?

Oh. Oh, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

10 a.m. To 2 p. M, eh?

Let me ride herd on him,

Uh, I manage a shopping mall

See? It tingles. She likes it.

And the winner is...

Yeah. That's why we're here, man.

Oh, my God, Robin.

107 FM, AM 1290, WCCC. Good morning.

Howard! Howard!

Hey, Pig Vomit.

What can I do to help here?

I reject that on principle.

What are you sleeping in?

All right, here we go.

So I can't say "big cock,"

Oh, well, we are, sir.

But don't make fun of the Chinese people.

and if you love music, you'll love Deep Purple on TBU.

No, because I love Alison.

This is it. This is everything I want.

Oh, yeah. Your sperm are fine.

Shut up! Sit down!

That's the kind of thinking, though,

[Cough] Blecch!

so I have a sloppy pussy.

You're goddamn right she's never gonna do it again. You're fired.

jumped to the top of the ratings today,

This is so exciting...

Kenny, we're one of the biggest radio stations in America.

How did Howard Stern get outside my fucking office?

You did not have permission to do that bit.

All right, I don't want to put you under too much pressure.

Joe's gotta message for Trump Donald get the fuck out

You enjoying the experience?

Hey, seriously, these guys had rhinoceros penises... huge.

how about I make you...

Howard: Take your speaker... You got a big speaker?

Are you ready to have sex?

A year, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks... Thanks... Thank you.

You're serious?

Down here. Down here. Down here.

[Lmitating Voice] Hello, everybody. Hello.

Hair dryer's in the bathroom.

Records... Who gives a damn?

So, we were on our way to a rally in support of feminism,

Uh, everyone was asleep,

to introduce to all of you a very special man.

The audience loved that stuff.

[Ghostly Groaning]

but I got a wife at home. I can't cheat on my wife.

All right, if I could have some music now.

Who knows? I don't know. Massage, schmas.

This afternoon... Gray skies,

As soon as they get him on,

You won't... You're not gonna be naked or anything.

Let me soak you in.

- Hi. - Wait, wait. There we go.

Just, you know, trying.

I mean, a gorgeous woman,

Alison's one of my roommates.

I should have just come home

We can't just not do the news.

How do you get along with the folks here?

making him number one in greater Washington.

OK there, Mr. Rushton,

Let's go over to Miss Brett Somers right now.

Robin: Hit him back.

OK. The treble's down, and the bass is up.

or the wires get screwed up.

I couldn't be happier. Everything is fine.

You're a moron. Now shut up and sit still.

You just swallowed.

unconventional disc jockey Howard Stern

Yes, honey... Uh-oh, Al? I think she's gone.

You think that'll work?

I swallowed. Oh, my God.

I mean, I think he really liked me.

The reason I'm calling is because your husband

I hold you and this station personally responsible.

# No reason to get excited #

I mean, I never saw the guy.

# Biddi-biddi-biddi #

Well, what do you think?

Look at these gams.

[Doorbell Buzzes]

Howard's Voice: Save me.

to the listener with the largest bowel movement.

You ever do that again, I'll kill you.

Uh, I play golf several times a week, you know?

No, that's not a seizure. That's me dancing

So I'm out there counting all the bodies.

Wait a minute. Does she know what she's gonna have?

[Together] W N BC.

program director?

I gave the script to Fred.

Gene, I have cock, and I wrote it big.

Howard: Look, I refused to leave the room

Shvartzes are niggers, idiot.

I was the happiest program director in the world.

And Alison, well, she got a job right away.

Howard: Little by little,

but I've really changed my mind.

This is a good one. It's a good mystery guest.

Caller: How are we gonna do that?

I don't think we should be talking about this.

While we were producing this report,

I mean, we were gonna have our first child,

if given the opportunity to...

I told you, we're gonna build a new building.

Julie says we're blessed, honey,

Now, uh, Howard, you know, uh...

Record: # Stop it now... #

I'll tell you, these halls are, like,

[Howard Humming]