Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Look at me, Robin.

wanna be black people who clearly are not black

"This is not WNBC.

Why don't you give me a call at DC 101

I just had the worst night of my life.

What about Kelly Landers?

The mightiest of superheroes.

Please welcome Howard Stern.

I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how miserable I am.

I think you're really getting good.

We need you to be a friend here, Robin.

It's x-rated radio, barnyard radio.

Who would come here?

that boy will be asking permission to wipe his ass.

I know you can hear me, and you're at God's side,

Brittany: Howard?

Not that, Fred. Play something else, please.

What part did you like in particular?

No. It's just very humiliating to me.

Let me ask you something. Would you still love me...

# Shut your mouth... #

Then you know what you gotta do?

John Stamos: I'm here to introduce the next presenter.

I want to be on the radio.

"Big cock" coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty.

You have carte blanche.

willing to spend the rest of her life with me.

He was an engineer at a radio station in Manhattan... WHOM.

And the point of this whole thing

You can't be there, then. You're blocking the median.

across the metropolitan area.

Advertising is up. Profit is up.

What's happening, man?

You know, when I got to NBC,

I'm worshipping your foot.

I get fucking nothing! That's what I get!

Yeah. If you want to read it, you can.

and I've got a great two for Tuesday.

[Cheers And Applause]

they treated me like I was a jerk.

And remember, Howard,

Kenny: Thanks, man. God bless.

Do you want me to go on?

and he makes you want to vomit.

the right energy...

Now, I could be crazy, but I figure a guy who's been married

if Robin was with me.

[Doorbell Buzzes]

[Doing Mama's Voice] Yes, hello. This is Mama Look-a boo boo day,

what would you do?

- I look like an elephant! - You don't look like a house.

# If you lie for your breakfast, then you won't get lunch #

Sitting with me, uh, Mr. Ringo...

so it doesn't quite matter, really.

Guess what. You are done.

All right, OK, fine.

I told you not to be stupid, you moron.

All right? How's that sound, partner?

so I'm taking the whole group to...

Well, I've got blond hair, and I've got blue eyes,

You have violated my wife.

Hey, move it, asshole!

that the commercial sponsors are there once you get the ratings.

And you know, I hope you can get them,

Oh, boy. You know what the truth is?

Everything's good.

that I'm really not a very big fan of yours,

The only way to do that is to stay on the air.

What a thing to go through life with.

No, forget that. I want them to love me...

With a little time,

I'm a disc jockey who makes $250 a week,

Yes. Kenny's mentioned you.

I need to know I'm the only one.

No, there's not, Howard, 'cause your career is over. You're finished.

He shouldn't make such a big deal.

I mean, I was hung like a 3- year-old.

you love this, don't you?

Look at that. A full 13 inches, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, more! Harder!

- One more thing. - Yes?

This is the Tudor, right?

but this is his movie.

Lay it flat on the floor.

What am I thanking him for?

I mean, a whole lesbian sex festival, right?

You got to think about the economics of this.

Looks like rain.

And, uh, "There's only one Stanley Sports,

That I really do love you,

It helps relax the muscles.

If you give me a couple of days,

Instead, I'm a joke.

You hardly ever say a word.

With a big smile... Very sexy...

What's it about?

You know, it's funny, but her last words...

my whole neighborhood underwent a demographic shift.

# I'll take you there #

but was never charged.

I can't even look at you, idiot!

because as soon as you start in on them,

Mama, you there?

I can't believe my luck here.

gets assassinated by Sicilians in Palermo.

You understand what I mean?

Porno For Pyros: # Got my hands into something #

No offense, Julie. Please, I don't need this aggravation.

Ooh. It kinda tingles.

Show business was definitely for me.

Good seeing you. I'll see you later.

are not gonna fucking blow it for me!

# Papa was a rolling stone... #

Howard, Fred, I'd like you to meet your new newsman,

I want the time and the temperature

Gabba gabba hey,

I need Robin. She's the anchor on the show.

No. I'm wearing, like, little baby-doll pajamas.

I've got my kids,

All the management at NBC...

She's a beautiful girl. You're telling me this beautiful woman is a lesbian?

# Talkin' like you never doubt #

- A year? - Yeah.

[Elevator Dings]

You didn't go all the way before?

I'm gonna be so honest with you now.

It's not good for ratings.

Howard, As The Woman: Oh, baby, I want it. Give it to me.

Oh, it is such a pleasure to meet you, Howard.

What about you specifically, though?

I'll do whatever you say if you just make that come true.

Howard goes to New York.

Howard On TV: I took a dump of a radio station and returned it to glory.

Put that there.

- What? - Yes, that's what you are!

I really wanted it to work.

You heard that?

No. It's very feminine.

Now, Mark David Chapman, now, there's a guy we gotta talk about, Ross.

By the way, uh...

The whole week goes by, she never gets horny.

[Rhythmic Knock On Door]

Ross Buckingham, have you ever seen a woman

Right now, you're getting a look at a live broadcast

Hi, honey. I missed you.

I mean, I don't want to be one of these disc jockeys

I said patch it in!

about putting some money into the show.

Look at that. Ooh.

and it's my great pleasure to introduce you

and none of these people know who I am.

# You got me so I can't sleep at night #

Alison: Well, I appreciate her support. Can we talk privately now?

Look, Rushton told me, this phone...

That made things worse

OK. Listen to this.

Alison dumped me,

Kenny, take it easy.

Absolutely, sweetheart.