Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Screw Superman.

but, in fact, I...

Robin, those guys are assholes. They screwed you,

Mark it on your calendar."

I work with an outpatient program for schizophrenics.

He comes to me.

- Is that so? - Yeah! Strip!

I have a confession to make.

She just wants pictures to show her friends.

but I got to tell you something.

I really think you need counseling.

My life was perfect.

Tell me about the secret world of lesbian sex.

You know, it was a great interview on the radio.

and she died last night.

I admire you, you know? I love what you do.

How you doing, Marvin?

If you can't be good, be bad, baby.

Gary: Let's see some muscles.

I'm flipping out, too.

Now, if you want to truly be management,

[Helicopter Flying Sound Effect]

# And I can't be the... #

It's unbelievable.

So this is your old pal Hopalong Howie saying I quit.

but you can say "big cock coming out of my mouth"?

Look at this...

You have lousy voice, lousy personality, and this will not change.

I just got to let things fly.

You fucking waltz in here,

My wife was suffering from cancer... I never told you this...

You know, I have to admit

Now, what do you suggest we do here?

[Knock On Door]

- Howard Stern. - You want to be a disc jockey?

No, he's not here today, not in this scene,

Oh, look at her. I mean, this was a miracle.

I do show my boobs

looks like Big Bird to me...

No, no. Don't bother.

You know what the problem is? You're tired.

But I'm not going to act on it.

Oh, please, Robin! You've gone too far.

Don lmus was the number one disc jockey in New York,

You don't understand. I'm not a piece of meat.

and I'm lying in my bunk,

Right up against it so you can feel me.

Only reason it's for sale is they're divorcing.

Caller, Giggling: Oh, my God.

Yeah? What sequel? Suppose the movie sucks?

At any minute, you're gonna be number one.

I am fully aroused right now. I am totally engorged.

You know when you did that ad, when you were just being yourself?

# But I can't be the one that you need, yeah #

I forgot to put it in your box.

Here's this beautiful girl,

Foul-mouthed, immature...

# Ooh-ooh-ooh dee dee #

That's what I was. I was a captain.

He's on the FCC's most-wanted list.

we named her Emily. 7 pounds, 8 ounces.

I see your wife had a miscarriage.

Caller: I can't believe you're really making me to do this.

I'll sue your ass!

Fred: I was very moved.

and I swear I'll never stray from Alison again. Never.

Boy, what a loser you are.

Oh, yeah, that was great, Ringo.

Your body rejected what was going on.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

but she was losing her looks. Let's be honest.

and that's when I met the other woman in my life.

[Clearing Throat]

# I'm callin', callin' #

Here at NBC, this is real radio.

[Water Running]

# The thief, he kindly spoke #

and the FCC wants me off the air,

But what about the people who hate Stern?

Don't answer that question. Bad question.

is the afternoon drive-time disc jockey

Howard: From that moment on, I wanted to be on the radio.

Now, if you wanted to buy liver for dinner,

It's so exciting. Did you call your mother?

and, Donna, I don't know if you know this,

You're gonna like it here.

[Sniff Sniff] Ahem.

# No such luck #

'Cause this is what I picture.

And I don't think you should start now.

although he was very sexual.

dump out of the delay, and go straight to a record.

I am begging you, please...

Good point. The average Stern hater...

on a regular basis.

OK. Now I'm hot.

I've been getting up at 5:00 every morning to work for Howard.

He loves you guys.

Pack up your shit. I'm not kidding. Let's go.

Howard: And then what happens?

And my name is Howard Stern

What do you think about that?

Now, take this woman, for example.

General Alberto DeCarlo...

Yeah, well, I don't do character...

Uh, having a seizure?

What do you mean?

Uh, I know I shouldn't be interrupting in the middle of a song,

Howard On Radio: I just want to thank someone this morning.

Mr. Engineer, please, some music.

Oh, really? I am right.

What are you worried about?

Listened to your show last night. It was great.

You're on the cutting edge of radio entertainment.

The Duke of rock's just finishing up,

# There's too much confusion #

# Bang, the walls started shakin' #

What would it be like to have sex with her?

Mr. Ringo Starr, and he's here in the studio.

D.C. Carpet canceled because of him.

You know, we have the most beautiful audience.

I was just doing character...

No, sir, I'm not an idiot.

Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the pen.

Let me demonstrate my point.

Howard Stern, executive manager.

You're a genius.

You punk! Fuck you 1,000%% %!

I feel like such a loser.

How about you go on the air 3 A.M. This morning,

See, that's when I came to a profound realization...

I'm making such a mistake.

someone so marvelous, so wonderful to me,

I think that's a no-no.

- Howard... - Come on, last night we were laughing about this.

It's good to fire someone. It gives a good message to the others.

And for my 12th birthday, my mother bought me some puppets,

This all from a guy who's only told me to shut up about 50,000 times.

Go to the... supermarket?

Listen, man, as soon as I get to Detroit and things start happenin',

Forget it. You believe this?

So am I. This is disgraceful.

I mean, I never made him wear my underwear to school.

Hey, Marvin, what happened to the new building?

She's in town, like, 2 minutes,

I must've killed, like, 200 kids.

and had sex with my daddy's sister, but...

- WNBC, please hold. - WNBC, please hold.

OK, I'm just gonna go over here and work on my script.

You know what I'm doing? I'm begging you.

It's kind of a bad time, OK?

Howard: Mmm. For God's sakes.

This is, uh, something special.

Program... director.

We're going to have winners take...

This is not Muffler Man. This is Stereo fucking City.

# Doo-doop doo-doo-doo #

As a matter of fact,

and continue this broadcast.

and you think you know everything, don't you?

Hi, Mr. Engineer. Hi.

Eh. I pay you...

Julie, I want you to tell us about your first lesbianic experience.

and get myself on the air.

Howard: This is nice. You wanna know something?