Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Yeah, it was my fault.

I can't believe you made me do that on the air.

[Smoke On The Water Plays]

I'm gonna get these guys to hire you, all right?

# One more time, and when she got to... #

of your summer stock experience.

Nobody. Maybe, like, 3 guys in a dorm somewhere.

and we'll be done with them in a second and we'll be out of your way.

And anything bad you say about negroes,

Let me introduce, over here to my right,

It's not radio.

Listen to her. She's going wild.

My wife, she comes home from work, she goes to sleep.

# Let's dance #

You have Howard Stern outside my fucking office?

He says it through a character.

His name is Pig Vomit.

I bring egg rolls.

I'm begging you to... I'm liking it down here.

and it's a wonderful thing to have you here,

Uh, you know, I bought a book,

I squoze it myself.

Maybe the two of you would like to have

You have the face of an angel.

I liked that. A little bonding.

Caller: I have one of those big sound systems.

Snap to it. I'm ovulating.

- He's like a... child. - [Jackhammer]

You say whatever you want.

Now, give me a call here at DC 101

I'll tell you, nothing makes a woman hotter

Just give me a couple of days to make them understand.

Oh, the underpants are coming off.

I just changed my mind.

Although, I did manage to convince one of them to be my weather lady.

Do what you need to do.

How you doing, man? Good to see ya.

That's exactly what I'm telling you.

Thanks. Thanks... Thanks for everything.

This guy must be hot.

I'll tell you what, I'll just kneel over here,

Hey, God, me and my wife are trying to have another baby.

[Trumpet Fanfare]

An hour and 20 minutes.

Good. Now, I'm gonna go in there

Its pronounced W - aye - T!

Mr. Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling.

May I say that you are beautifully big- breasted again?

Ben: Shut up! Sit down!

I don't want to end up like that. It's so sad.

they're really desperate for me, which I like.

There's no smoke in here.

I'm going to do everything I can for you.

And I blow up the whole damn thing.

And every time I feel like I shouldn't say something,

# Yeah, you really got me now #

Hey, the Duke of rock's gettin' ready to walk,

My father commuted every day,

Did you just say, "big cock coming out of your mouth sucks"?

I was a captain in the Air Force. What were you?

Fred: She's right.

Come here. I'm gonna kiss your feet.

This is the God's honest truth.

Hi. How's it going?

Fred, get me back on the air.

You want to be management, you fire him, huh?

General Sarnoff formed NBC radio,

And you know why I'm pissed? I'll tell you why.

What an ad-libber, Ross.

And quite frankly, I'm just a little bit hurt

- It's nice. - Sit down.

Mr. Stern, he's in a meeting.

# La la la la la la #

[Enunciation Unclear] Howard goes to Hartford at CCC.

Someone more pathetic than me.

Don't hurt yourself, man.

And what were you in?

And we can just mail them a picture of that,

I just told you I went there as a kid, and now the grand opening...

Donald get the fuck out Donald get the fuck out

No, it's a very quiet street.

Howard, you gotta listen to this man 'cause he's a genius.

Let me tell you something.

And this is the hell that's my life.

and now this dickwad is calling me Big Bird.

- All right... - [Shivering]

No. I changed my mind, and I'm really sorry.

[Faucet Squeaks]

Right now, I need to know, are you doing it or not?

[Both Chuckling]

Coming up next on the Big Bird show.

We gotta move to Miss Brett Somers.

Ohh! Army? Navy?

and the corresponding days of the week,

Listen to me. Listen to me.

- That's correct. - That sucks.

You spin and you spin and you spin.

and you're jamming the kielbasa

And I start tomorrow?

and put the bass all the way up?

Look at me! Look at me!

I said when we came here, if I was gonna win on the radio,

Robin: Was it a boy?

Were you a Beatles fan?

send a hit man to the United States of America

you still would've lost the pregnancy.

There's a perfectly good explanation.

That's what I thought. Monaco.

Howard On TV: I'll tell you another thing...

My grandmother died last night.

# There are many here among us #

Mandy has agreed to actually get on the floor with me

[Tires Screech]

I remember how embarrassing it was

Howard: # I'm a radio star #

You punk! Fuck you 1000 percent

is to make up a grid of all your comedy bits

If he slept with 16,000 women,

I mean, I have to be romanced.

Well, every morning I lie in bed,

We give the award for best student film

I've been pissing off every publicist,

And on the air, you do what you do. That's your job.

Joe… You are the motherfucking Antichrist!

Come on. Come on.

I spent all night with her in the hospital.

"If necessary, stuff a semirigid, large object

No. Actually...

bunch of creeps, and I'm not afraid to say it right now,

Now, from now on, all your little bits

But I think it's right that I go crazy, you know?

"These are cocksucker, motherfucker,

I won't make any money.

Yeah. You're beautiful.

And you got to try and catch it, OK?

You've got to tell everyone. My audience wants to know why you're interrupting.

if you have the same kind of problem.

# I'm a tortured man #

More than anything, I'd like the public to appreciate me.

Our first clue up is...

and you're putting it in your mouth,

What do you look like?

You think it's funny to make jokes about our personal life like that?

and becomes the wacky morning man at WCCC."

I'm showing my apartment now.

- Please! - For God's sakes,