Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Hi, foxy lady. - Thank you very much.
Listen, I'll be the editor and you be the reporter.
Let me say something.
Looks like a job for me.
Holy cow! It works!
Well, you know, go to bed... Make it.
...unless you come up with a quick 10 grand.
Don't let go.
If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend.
...open a store, it's for you.
It's Mr. Bates' collection and I'm in charge.
Up yours, you mother!
The question is, what the hell you doing here?
I can fix this.
Well, we need a press. It's the only press in town, isn't it?
- 3000. - Two-five.
What's wrong? What happened? Are you disappointed...
That her full name?
...and your honest intentions.
On six. On three. On two.
Come on, Jack. I'll race you for a beer.
What's going on? What do you mean?
Mr. Brown, we're looking for a woman to do a little part-time cleaning...
- $2500 a week! - Get off the phone!
Stanley!
He can do a lot of damage.
He bought a black man.
Angela, this is for you!
They wouldn't talk to us. They work for your dad.
...gently. You kinda pull her to you and you jump on her bones.
- Let's get him! - Holy shit!
A press card, salary, everything.
- They're raising money for the KKK. - Lf you ever loved me, trust me.
I can do anything a woman can do. Almost.
- Daddy? - It's just for your son, sir.
That's a good idea.
- Not until you eat. - Get me a hammer.
Don't touch that table.
Are you all right, Master Bates? Are you?
Nice Wonder Wheel! Stop!
- I need something that fits. - I bought some for Barkley.
I'll end up in this room with all you toys for the rest of my life.
- Say it louder. - I love you!
I can't feed myself on high ideas and principles.
- I'll kill you! - Two-five is fine.
Way to go, Jack! All right!
Because...
You said I could have anything.
- At the Bugle. - So what?
...so you wouldn't be frightened if you saw him.
He's fired. Did you fire him?
- Let's talk. - What are you doing here?
If you're hopeless too, I don't mind.
By the hour.
- That's one trick you won't manage. - You wanna bet?
You acted like money was important.
All this is not boring? All this garbage?
This got settled in the Civil War. You can't have slaves.
That's UMass Not "You Ass"
You'll have to practice on someone else.
So Daddy bought some piranhas.
I want my clothes!
- Hug me and say, "I love you." - I love you.
...to wrap me up, which they did, in a box.
- Are you serious? No kidding around? - No.
Spoilsport.
A toy?
- Take it easy. - See you later!
What do you do...
That's an ashtray.
Here you go.
You're lucky it's not a cat.
Now, what do you want to do first?
What's wrong?
Hey, I know what. We'll start a newspaper. You can be a reporter.
Just show her some of your heart, what you're made of.
"Goodbye! I want my clothes!"
Can you give me $10 for a cab? All I need is 10. Just $10.
- Tell you what. Shave. - Shave?
I love it.
And one of his gang came up and stuck a gun in my ribs.
- So what? - He has very sweaty hands.
...you put a whoopee cushion under me.
I get to open it. It's my present.
- Slave sound too crass? - I'm serious.
- Cleaning lady get fired? - Start Monday, in the newsroom.
Go ahead, sugar.
Calm down, calm down. Calm down!
Boring.
It's not like everybody doesn't know already.
- Yes. - That's my friend.
Wonder Wheel, no. Wonder Wheel...
I was wondering if you'd tell us how you and your wife met.
- Are you crazy? - Yes, but trust me.
And each year, we'd have a different color.