Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring...

The heads of the company are coming down on a private jet...

Look at you. You look like a mountain man.

let the Christmas Jubilee begin.

I get a little drizzle, but them quarters hurt.

I know this school is not the best, but it is all we got.

That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about the sponsor.

I can't pretend to be somebody. I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba.

You're a smart woman.

You work on my nerves.

We would have thrown you such a shindig. You know that.

Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus. That's the hip-hop version.

- It's Christmas. - And that woman...

- Thank you. - All right then.

Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya.

Damien and Michele .. are getting on my damn nerves.

That's a bull. You can't milk no bull.

is even more impressive.

I'm gonna ride with him.

Oh, hell. It's time for my break.

Look, this is 2013, and it's almost Christmas.

Joy to the world and the Lord is come, and happy Easter.

You ever woke up on Christmas morning and didn't get the gift you wanted?

How do we talk about Christmas without talking about Jesus?

Kid's still beating him up?

My name is Madea, honey.

Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder.

Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude?

- We sure do appreciate you helpin'. - No. That's fine.

Ike wasn't gonna put his hands on me. That's all I'm saying.

She made a deal with the devil.

Bailey is always telling me how good you are to him...

- We came. - Surprise.

she cuts down my daddy's memory tree and acts like she doesn't even care!

Do you think we should leave? I think we should maybe leave.

- What happened? - What?

There's a weird woman in here.

We don't have the budget!

Well, the contract says... no nativity.

You know you miss him.

Manganiello, who played a werewolf.

You better bite your tongue.

Then he'd put a sheet above himself...

Boy, I tell you what, Son, she's way prettier...

What the hell y'all looking at? What the hell all y'all looking at?

Your Daddy wasn’t killed by no KKK Member

I graded another one of Bailey's homework assignments...

Yeah, it's not my cup of tea, but you know.

- What? - I want to...

I can ask your Aunt Madea to come with me.

Yeah, she had gas.

No, you can't do that. Put... Madea.

You been gone from around here for far too long.

Tanner McCoy. Yeah, okay.

What the hell these people doing here?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

What wrong with you, cutting down her daddy's tree?

Have you ever thought maybe she just don't want to see you, Eileen?

Hilton. Shut the door.

This has got to be a mistake.

At the science of it, not so much the farming.

I bet this house run them in the double figures.

Here, let me take this, Daddy.

And plant it in the backyard. Get her a ribbon.

- She's in there trying to cook something. - Look, he's trying.

when they ask you for something, and you can refer to this.

I've already talked to him about this, but have at it.

- and I actually have to tell you... - Lacey!

Didn’t You Know Mama Ruth Had a Heart Attack Last Year?

Between my mother and my job and... It's just all a bit much.

Listen, I'm sorry, but we're coming.

It's good. It is good.

- Well, there's a switcheroo. - The farm help.

- He knows the science of it, Mama. - No, I heard that last night.

I'd like to see that, 'cause you don't drive.

- It's great to see you, Lacey. - Yeah, you too.

Actually, we kind of have a problem.

- What you're working on? - Yeah.

- What are you doing? - Giving goodwill towards men.

and I asked Miss Madea to keep an eye on you.

If we cut back more, we'll not be able to finish the school year.

- Boy, that's the truth. - Gotta wait for that.

A men's watch. You know, I like it with a leather band.

I'm sorry. Say what you're saying to the children.

You were out there with them for a while.

Yeah. And to know he works after school and in the morning...

Get off my mother-in-law, you son of a bitch!

- They're in the trunk of the car. - His name is Conner.

Son, you got to slop them pigs early in the morning.

Y'all look so nice.

Okay. You better wear a cup.

that doesn't mind keeping the Christ in Christmas...

All right now. We gotta get outta here. Come on.

All right, I'm going to write my name on the board...

Then why won't you tell her?

With a company that's in the middle of a PR nightmare.

That is so inappropriate.

This is going to be a wonderful Christmas after all!

I am thou-ist with the child-ist.

That's all right. I don't care that y'all are white America...

I know what I saw.

$100,000. That would be great.

That's what I don't like.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that, and I have an idea.

I ain't bought her nothing since she was seven years old.

I'll go to hell and back to get away from her.

I just wanna tell you all how sorry I am.

Don't get your hopes up listening to Eileen.

- I love it here. - Thank you.