Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You better hope she comes back she's the only one that likes you here you dirty farm asshole Bitch shut fukk up slob on this knob and lick my fukkin nut you banana cantaloupe rice and corn chex honey bun krispy kreme eating feminine ass bitch
You brought an awful situation here.
And this is Madea, her great-aunt on my daddy's side.
Just think of this as a little extra money for you and Cora.
And the holiness is come upon me...
She had gas. She had gas.
Mama!
I'm telling you. Let me explain something to you.
You are smart. You can be anything you want.
It was called the Ghost and the Damsel.
You're gonna go to bed, slip into a coma...
She's got a good sense of humor and those big, sturdy feet.
They come in here taking advantage of her...
- What's your name, boy? Olive Oil? - Oliver.
all black folk don't necessarily know each other.
So what number you trying to get?
Look at my Grizzly Adams.
It's not just the farm.
Don't you ever...
- Yeah. - I'll help.
I knocked the hell out of her. You know what happened?
Most important, everybody gets the same greeting.
Stop jumping to conclusions.
Good night. She looked like old Tyler Perry.
- That's what I said. - Conner.
Do you understand? Now, what can I help you with?
And I know you could have gone anywhere in the country...
- Where we going? - My daughter loves me.
Okay.
I know my mother.
Since they built that dam upriver, we've been barely surviving.
Your Mama Lied About Her Heart Attack, She Had the Flu, We Got to the Hospital She Was Clutching Her Pearls and Thought She Saw the Light Then the Doctor Said, She Had the Flu, It Wasn’t No Heart Attack
but I just kind of feel a little guilty about the way he turned out.
- Stop babying him. - You need to start babying him.
Go on. Go on.
Y'all, sometimes I just think I'm not cut out for this.
I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired.
So you can sell your poinsettias at the Jubilee.
- Is this one yours, Madea? - All right, come on.
All right then. Let's do this.
They want it to be called Holiday Jubilee instead of Christmas.
Actually, in a town like yours. So your timing may be perfect.
Well...
Lacey's ma... She's here?
- Okay? - That's nice too.
What's this pulling on me?
Maybe because it had a yellow ribbon around it?
You see what happened when they took prayer out of schools.
You can't do this to me now.
- You believe that guy? - That was unpleasant.
It was nice of you to call him.
We are gonna have hot possum potpie. I'm gonna make it.
I tell you what, it broke my heart to be gone so much...
I like her.
Make it about Santa Claus and not about the birth of Christ.
What?
Well, actually, what I'm working on can help all of us.
She just thinks y'all are tryin' to kill us.
So it's definitely gonna happen.
So he went on and stayed with her...
- That's all we ask. - Of course.
I can get somebody to drive up there with me.
Well, my daughter's paying the mortgage...
There you go, overreacting, like you always do.
Well, the mayor wants to see you now.
'Cause I was gonna start a fire.
Not Mandela, honey. Madea.
little children of God, or your mama...
Merry Christmas. How you doing? Where y'all went?
No, I gotta tend to the animals.
Whew!
Just give him a little nudge to the flapjacks there.
Don't be flirting with me in front of your wife.
Hot chocolate does wonders. It's delicious.
I'm just gonna ask y'all. I'm gonna put it out on the table.
She don't know what's going on. She don't have a clue.
I was sitting up there, and I kept hitting my head on that steering wheel.
Oh, no.
- Yes. Merry... - Yes.
that built a dam to save Jasper and left us without a river.
Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on my class while I go into the meeting.
She is happy to see me anytime. Tell her.
It's just not right.
- He growed? - Yeah, he growed up that tall.
Y'all want me to be on the phone?
- Sure you can. - I really can't.
Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.
Then you gotta milk these cows 'cause they nipples is tough.
- Nobody's gonna die. - I have a little boy.
You can't get everything your way.
Now, let me see.
Came flowing out like the River Jordan and that was it. It was all over.
That was a nice ruse to get to see him. Fund-raiser.
Don't be pushing on me.
Sing songs like Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas.
Hurry!
That's my boy!
- You don't trust me? - No, no, no, it's not that.
Somebody like what?
- Come on. - Okay.
This is a hell of a mess.
- Stop it! - Take whatever I want out of here.
They didn't even leave the light on for her. She was in the dark.
Like your eucalyptus. Menthol. Hall. Haul.
- White lightning? - Yeah, moonshine.
Okay. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
Get out the way! What the hell goin' on?
He's just pretending, just saying nothin' to this woman.
I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt.
And the songs for the Jubilee should be about everything but Christ.
You got to read this, this is pretty good.
You did not need to be so mean to that woman yesterday.
Lacey, come show us this farm.
Mechanical Energy To
Yeah? Well, school is gonna have to wait.
If I took the register, I'd be bonded out.
I want to thank you all for coming out to the Christmas Jubilee.
No, but...
No, Aunt Madea.
I'm just kiddin'. She got a nice rack.
Between that and the drought...
Dead. Lord have mercy, that's going to kill her.
I didn't know it was from Sheldon Construction Company.
Would calm a storm with his hand?
Tanner, he's regular size. He ain't like a dwarf or nothin'.
I'm trying to save you some embarrassment.
- Other people take... - You sure?