Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Karen, there is no evidence to... - You've seen 'em.

It was a little out of context maybe, but there's no hard feelings.

Oh, my goodness. Oh.

- Did you guys go to prison? - No. We were... just in jail.

Now we're talking!

- So you caved, huh? - No, I did not cave.

I always thought that I'd be a mom someday.

That was very smart. Put him right on this gurney.

- We've been waiting one hour for you! - I'm the bad guy. Calm down.

I know, I know, but we wanted to.

Let's see it. Bust that shit up.

And, Miss Viara, do you feel capable of responsibly caring

Is this that kid Jacob you were talking about?

- About the couch fire? - No. About your .26 hearing.

Lita won't eat anything but potato chips.

Definitely starting to hate me a bit less, right?

- Stop! Stop! - It's almost over.

Fourteen? Oh, my God!

Well, guess what? You're grounded.

Yeah, Lizzy, you body-positive whore!

I love the movie.

she doesn't know how to make my noodles the way I like to have them?

So we went to the school and joined her in the cafeteria.

- Of course. I mean, that's... - Yeah.

Like The Blind Side. Like the movie. Right? That's great.

You know that we love you, right?

and I'll just jot you down for "whites only."

You know what? Tell the girls we need their car. Now!

Stay still. I got to wrap it up.

I protect it means the first recovery to us

- Excuse me. - Y-You guys heading out?

We want to thank the Lord for our first Christmas together.

Yeah, she got clean because she was in jail, Ellie.

- Yeah. - It's cool. Great.

Peter and Elinore Wagner,

And you know why? We've got a cosmic connection.

Can we just get out of here, you coward?

- Like the Avatar thing. - Avatar?

- I did not cave. - Oh, you caved.

- Eeew! - Eeew!

who still hasn't been matched with a child.

Juan, drop it right now!

Okay, I think that's everybody.

That's a good idea, huh?

But things have been a little chaotic around here, and we need things to be normal.

I like it. It's really... dope.

I know. I think it's awful. But they're teenagers, okay?

Because we love you, Lizzy.

I'm sorry if we're not as politically correct as you guys,

Uh, Kylie, Savanna, these are my, um...

and cranking his explicit music till all hours.

- What? I do not. - You do.

I pronounce you a family.

I can't get over it. They look just like normal kids.

Motherfucking Mr. pickles

- Now we're just supposed to? - I know.

- Lizzy. - Please just go away. You're not my parents.

Most folks want nothing to do with teenagers.

I got the whole family tickets to Six Flags!

So, together we're all gonna decide which chore we'd like to do

And you might quit just to get some control back.

Good morning, folks.

we hear about you throwing food in the cafeteria one more time,

That would depend. There's a lot of factors that go into it.

you know, for everything they've done for us, yeah?

Get out of here!

No, it's okay. Don't cry. Relax.

- Wow. Hello. - What is that?

Here's an idea. What if we adopt a five-year-old?

Hey. Excuse me! Heads up!

Okay. Lunch it is.

Hi, honey. Here we are.

It's not fair. That is not...

Yeah, we just realized we hadn't thought it through properly, so...

We're good! Thank you so much. We're good, thank you.

- I love hide and seek. - Okay, but just us. No girls.

Why don't you come on over here? Excuse me.

It's got nothing to do with what just happened.

Look, Lizzy's mom is a product of the system

- It's brutal! - It's very dull.

And Lizzy's soccer team is undefeated.

Oh, good! You're home!

Before you jumped on in there,

I'm sorry, sweetie. I thought we were really connecting.

You're a brave boy, you hear me? Look at me. You're so brave. Yeah?

that we feel no family should have to go through.

And now Mom's ready to reunite?

I'm so sorry. Oh, God. I'm so sorry, honey.

Yeah, okay... Hey, Pete, Pete, just wait.

- Hold my hand, hold my hand. - A little bit of a sting.

With me wanting the kids or not wanting the kids?

- Holy shit. Holy shit. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh! - Oh, gosh.

She's not fat. She's body positive.

Pete, if you don't want the kids,

- Yeah. - Last session.

Is that her real mom? Yeah, that's a harsh move.

- Wait. Did you say "made" a difference? - Yeah, she did.

We didn't take her kids, Ellie.

You didn't have to get all this stuff for us.

- Oh! You're a dick. - I'm kidding.

Actually, I wanted to give you the statement we wrote

She came into care four years ago when she was 11.

And what's the boy situation? Anything exciting?

I swear to God, I'm gonna get pregnant again this afternoon just to spite you.

- Come on. - Come on. Have a little vision.

- I'm okay. - Okay.

But does he have a lot of contacts?

Sir, all I need to know is whether or not Lizzy is lying.

I'm one-eighth Comanche, okay? So I'm not that white!

What do you think it is, Mom? Wild guess. Dick. Pic.

- Wow. - Nothing hard about kids.

Stop right now, or you're not getting lunch or dinner.

It's messed up, I know, but the county puts these on

- Yes! Absolutely! - Oh, my God. "Our blood."

I know she's getting these texts. I can see the dots.

Great. Yeah, I just... I have so many feelings.

I'm gonna find this Jacob kid and get to the bottom of this, okay?

No fair! I want some of that. Hey, honey.

- We're stuck, aren't we? - Yeah, we are.

- You all set? - Yep.

Clearly, it's not for them. Let's just flip this one, El.

Why is this funny?