Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

She's like, "Why, is he okay?" "No, he needs you desperately.

...because our feeling is that they gave us America, and then they--

You know, if it's like you say it is and it's your turn...

It shows that you got the AIDS from raping a little blind boy.

Let's take a look at you.

That's what-- That's how much....

"He said"? The doctor doesn't make appointments.

Mother-- Come on. Come on, guys, break it up.

I look over at Andi, she's grinning.

Yeah, and I think I saw the bartender spit into it and wipe up some AIDS vomit.

I've seen my best years.

That's about it. Jesus Christ, Nick.

That didn't happen when I was in high school.

Looks like you've been getting a dog to suck it off, but it chewed it...

Why can't you just let me wait--? - Just keep up that regime.

I never got a tip from a black person, not once.

Oh, yeah. Over-- What the **** is wrong with you?

And she's like, "Dude, you're limiting my enjoyment by a lot."

Um.... Look, I got back your blood work.

No, I mean, are you being seriously that racist?

Because what it's meant to be is that someone gave you something...

Sure you feel like shit and not diarrhea? Because you look like diarrhea.

I'm sorry. Can you stop having this conversation?

I pulled a muscle in my neck...

Hey, what's up, man? Yeah, yeah. How are you?

Are you nuts? Niggas don't tip. Everyone knows that.

My name's Louie C.K., and he said to be here around 2.