Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- We're outside the Kub house. BOY 2: Hey.
THOMAS: Whoa!
And look, Thomas, I'm not an idiot. I know you're gonna have friends over.
Fuck, yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah!
Oh, my God.
THOMAS: It's my fucking dog.
What? I'm not here to bust anybody. I'm just here to party.
I wasn't nervous. I wanted the party to be big enough to be cool.
OFFICER 1: Approach with extreme caution.
...a penis he may someday insert into this female's vagina...
BOY 1: Got it? You tie it?
Holy shit, dude. It's Miles Teller.
Get this shit rolling again. Come on DJ Jesse Marco. Run it!
You can call me, uh, you could send me a text message.
Fuck that shit. I'm not jumping. Fuck that.
- Cool room. THOMAS: Thanks.
I wanted to give you my number in case you had problems or concerns.
(BANGING)
- Yes. Thank you so much. - Cool, right? You have a car now.
COSTA: You said your parents would be gone by 7.
Hey, have you seen Thomas?
COSTA: The cops are on their way right now! THOMAS: Oh, shit.
...make sure you're all set for the night.
'Cause, homey That hood is tighter than Kenny's
EVERETT: Subject is arguing with an overweight woman, most likely his wife
Thomas, whatever happens, man...
Yeah, all right.
I mean, did you hear that guy? Wheelchair Robert got beat off.
OFFICER (OVER MEGAPHONE): This is the police.
...that there'd possibly be a bit of party-related noise.
Why the balls, man?
COSTA: Holy shit!
Mass marketing, handled.
But, shorty, I'm far from a saint But I got two AmEx's that look the same way
COSTA: So, dude, it's your last day of being a loser. How does it feel?
Don't even worry about it, man. I'll bring it, call my boys up.
Hey, Costa.
- Where's your present? - You serious?
DAD (ON RECORDING): Hi. You've reached the Kub residence. Please, leave a message.
...he found out about the party on fucking Craigslist?
If we don’t play softball this week I’m drowning myself
BOY 4: J.B.!
Know me from the you know Boss in my Hugo
- You're way too fat. - Shut up.
- No, it... It was a little weird. Heh. - Fuck. Um...
Disperse immediately.
- You mind if we look around? - I'd prefer if you didn't.
We've lost all control. The house was breached hours ago.
Do you have any idea how much all this is gonna cost, Thomas?
So you're telling us we cannot come in?
If you do not disperse immediately, you will be subject to arrest.
Dax, close that behind you.
...and it may get a little loud and noisy, but I just wanted to let you know...
I'm actually about to go to sleep right now, so...
(GRUNTING ON VIDEO GAME)
This is called "machine guns" or "friendly scissors."
Pretend you're killing cops, if you want.
To my family members, all my friends on Facebook...
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Whoo-hoo!
Just make sure you wear something tight.
(ALL CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
COSTA: You were so nervous about people not showing up.
(ALL SHOUTING AND CHEERING)
It's crazy out there.
SHUT THE FUCK UP
ALL (CHANTING): Cops go home! Cops go home! Cops go home!
KIRBY: Thomas? Thomas. Eyes up here.
Fuck, yeah! What's up in this bitch? Fuckers.
We could be crushing this kind of ass, but we need a game changer.
MY Party is legendary!
We'll have to let this thing burn out before we even think about moving back in.
- Karaoke in the pool house. - Nice.
Get your asses up here right now.
- Whatever, you fucking weirdo. COSTA: Dude, just let it go. Just come on.
DUDE: Wait up. Wait, wait.
I'm, like, really into her.
KIRBY: Yeah, man. - Let's do this.
I'm joined now by Captain Reesman of the Police Department.
- Give it to him. Where is it? - It was full of Ecstasy. Everyone ate it!
- Fuck you. - Come inside.
All you do is show up and drink.
Fuck your car!
J.B.: Mm.
- J.B., you all right? J.B.: Ha-ha-ha!
You think we'd ditch you if something went wrong?
Thomas! You're taking a bullet from me right now.
- Baby Kub? - ...Baby Kub for his birthday.
- Well, not just the Internet. - Shut the fuck up, J.B.!