Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Back in Queens, I had hoes blowing me on the reg.

Yeah, I heard it's gonna be unlimited high-school pussy.

- Mom's minivan? Nice. DAD: Yeah.

- I haven't seen you in a minute, Costa. - Yeah.

- Good to see you. - Actually, I'm not raging.

- Happy birthday, loser. - Ow.

BOY: Yo, Costa, what's up? - Yo, go in the back.

(COSTA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

BOY: It was just a kid, man!

Let's do this, I gotta be at the dojo by 5.

KIRBY: It's pretty fucking crazy.

THOMAS: How the hell did they get up there? - Move it, fellas.

- Anywhere but the fucking balls. - Think about it.

We were out in the hot tub, so I didn't have it on me.

EVERETT: Tyler, I need you! Pull it together!

(WIZ KHALIFA'S "WHEN I'M GONE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

When it's my brothers birthday

I never said you were cool.

- Is that everything? THOMAS: Yeah. I got your chalice.

Our balls are where his eyes are.

Get out of your mind Fuck that shit

Join us for an evening of balls-deep entertainment at Thomas Kub's house.

It's just for school and back. That's it, right?

We get it. Queens is awesome. We're pussies. I don't fucking care.

GIRL: They're pills!

OFFICER 5: Drop it now! OFFICER 4: Back up, back up!

- Fuck off! COSTA: Dude, it's us.

Lot of cars for a small party.

- Thomas? Who's that? - Who's Thomas?

They're running security for the night.

Wait. No, wait. What are you doing? Not like that. Not like that.

COSTA: That's not an option. People will show up.

THOMAS: Who takes a shit and makes a business call?

Listen to me, Thomas. Either shut it down or I'm calling the cops.

- Throw down in the bushes? THOMAS: I don't care.

You know, just big enough to be cool.

Suck my Dick Robert

What the fuck does that even mean? J.B., get this bitch a drink.

OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon. Put your hands in the air.

This is the Thomas Kub pool cam.

- Holy shit, man! J.B.: Holy shit!

Birthday cake. Mm.

(ENGINE STARTS)

GIRL: Heh, heh. THOMAS: It should be pretty cool, I think.

J.B.: Look. COSTA: That was a business call for your party.

I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, then, aren't we?

Well, I know. I'm sorry I let you down.

- Oh. - I'll bring it tonight. Hey, I have to go run.

OFFICER 1: Scene in progress, 50 yards ahead of IC. Officers need assistance.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

THOMAS: Yeah, I'm just gonna hang here with Milo for a bit.

This is amazing. How did we get all these people to show up?

Look at me now, bitches! My party is the shit!

THOMAS: It's easy to talk shit when the party's not even at your house.

It is going down. I don't know if you seen the news.

THOMAS: You have great knees. KIRBY: Thanks.

COSTA: Look at your fucking pupils.

I had Jesse Marco put out an e-mail blast and I may have called a radio station or two.

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SMALL BLACK'S "DESPICABLE DOGS (WASHED OUT REMIX)" PLAYING)

Go. Go talk to her.

- J.B., what are you looking for? - To see if your dad has condoms.

T-Rick's. Gotta score some of that chronic shit.

I don't want to find wet towels when we get home.

Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table! That's what I like to see, baby.

(OVER SPEAKERS) Pretty girls, sunshine in the air

- Oh, shit. COSTA: What the fuck are you wearing?

(ALL SCREAMING)

(OVER SPEAKERS) Say what Bitch, I'm about to blow up

I saw your face

Costa, before we begin, is there anything that you would like to say to the viewers?

Dude, don't even start, okay? My dad's making me drive it as punishment.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

REPORTER 1 (ON TV): Chaos has broken out in the Southland...

- Um, got the bar set up over here. - Nice.

THOMAS: Go, go, go! COSTA: Run! Run!

- Okay, no more than 20 people. - Twenty people?

Yeah, the good old days.

- I don't, it's just my underwear sitting funny. - Cover up.