Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'm a good girl, Mr. Cook, but sometimes I need to be bad.

Oh, well, don't lose your focus. We still need that key.

Look, I'm trying to make up for lost time here.

No, I'm not anything like you.

Anyway, Santy ain't no arms dealer, so I can't help you out.

Hey, goddamn pussy! You motherfucker!

I am all about those kids and the Christmas concert.

Did you forget about this?

I'll look for you and I'll wave like this. Okay?

because when some shit gets over with,

You know, a lot of these kids don't got any arms and legs and shit.

- Gina, was it? - That's right.

- But you're my family. - No, I'm not your family.

And that is one piece of motherly advice I hope you took to heart.

- Ow! - Oh, call the medic!

And then at night, they store that cash in the safe in Regent's office.

Matter of fact, I think she roofied me.

Get a bite of this pumpernickel bread.

Shouldn't be a problem for you. You got it?

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

so I think it should be a light landing for both of you. Okay?

Now, I'm dating again, and I'm ready to find The One.

Wait till he gets to attention, then poke him in there.

No way these assholes have 2 million bucks.

I don't go in for all the sappy shit.

- Shit happens. - That's fucking beautiful.

I'll be smoking like an old Buick, all right?

He was my original elf. Remember those times, Willie?

Thank you for that, Jason.

I knew you couldn't stay away. You always were your mama's boy.

who are in your family.

Where are the cherry pop ladies?

Get out of my car!

I rooted out a pervert.

- That is not how you serve a sandwich. - Willie.

You tricked me, you little shithole!

We only put butter on food. Hand isn't food.

- Willie, you in there? - Get rid of him.

Fucking asshole.

Just did a little digging, a little Googling,

Anyway, still good to see you.

Here, drink this.

Come on, boy. Be just like old times.

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

- Hey, keep those coming, will you? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, is that you? I thought it was me.

I always wanted to fuck me a Santa.

So you see, happy endings are bullshit.

I'm in Chicago, but I can't find you anywhere.

I am going to have to ask you to watch your language

Or you could do your dumb-ass self a favor, at least hear me out before you quit.

so if you got a problem with that, you take it up with the Lollipop Guild.

Go ahead. Shoot me, shitstick.

Look, when you were a baby,

You're scaring all the kids away. You know what I mean?

- I see they made you some chairs already. - Fuck you.

I hate him more than anything in the goddamn world! Except her.

Seriously, you need to give my bike back. Now.

You got ten minutes to get to Regent's office, crack that safe,

Oh, sorry about the confusion. That's all we have in your size.

- Okay. I'll try to be a man. For you. - No, not for me. For you.

while I got off clean by ratting out my steaming pile of shit mother.

- Oh, that sounds really nice. - Well, it wasn't nice.

And this year, they requested Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus.

But sometimes, you have to lose something to gain something.

I said I'm fucking busy!

Same day as the President's Day sale at Blue Mesa Toyota and Scion

- Ronald. We haven't officially met. - Well, hello, Ronald. Officially.

Don't be weird. Tell me how dirty this is.

Would you get it together? Tomorrow is go time.

- Fuck you! - It was just business.

And I trust you about as far as I can throw her.

- Motherfucker! - Get off of him!

The cherry pop lady gave it to me.

No. The Hungry Hoagies people tested me. I'm top of the spectrum.