Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Okay. - Hey, why don't we just do it right now.
And that is, if yours happens to be a bag of dicks, then fuck them.
That's quite a grip you got there. What are you, a lumberjack?
I’m not anything like you
What about Granny? I'm sure she misses you.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Go! Go, go, go, go!
What do you want?
it's when you play with your wiener and think about your mother.
Okay.
So I help field incoming calls for the Santa appearances
I don't even know what fucking year it is, kid.
You know, like, older Jewish guys, older Irish guys, dads.
I'm glad I tea-bagged your drunk ass, you fucking piece-of-shit motherfucker!
You didn't tell me I'd have to get in the fucking suit again.
♪ Well, you be a real good little girl ♪
♪ I met a man who lives in Tennessee ♪
I bet you got no idea how beautiful you really are.
- You're burning my minutes. - But what if it's an emergency?
♪ And the snow is on the ground ♪
Look at those cheeks!
Find out everything. Schools, arrests, financials, meds.
Let's do this.
You mean your nuts haven't been scraped off
I am strictly first-class.
Sir? This way, please.
Oh, shit!
- Don't test me, boy. - You're gonna shoot me too?
Ticket please.
I believe that's felching.
I've gotta get this stuff to the auditorium.
Hey.
Or did you get carpal tunnel from jacking off?
Hundreds are better. What?
- Good. - Good night, Elf!
It was always supposed to be this way, William.
- You gotta stop that. - Well, I know you're not the Santa.
You might be, because, you know, certain pussy
Well, sometimes you're not nice. But you're still Santa.
Mind if join you?
Shut the fuck up! Early release. Overcrowding.
What were you thinking? You could have fucked this whole thing up.
It's a part of my release from the joint. I've been there 3 months.
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop. Some duct tape so I can build a boat.
- Ooh! - Fucking asshole!
Who you calling "son"?
Okay, go, go, go, go, go!
Giving City's gonna lose a record amount of money this year.
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop.
- Are you surprised? - No, this shit happens every day.
That's none of your goddamn business what I do.
- Who the fuck are you? - Grandma Willie!
- Does this bus go to Chicago? - No.
And spit on me.
♪ You're gonna see me comin ' In a big black Cadillac ♪
Maybe we should take this upstairs.
Wait a fucking minute, you were embarrassed?
And we're very grateful. But you reek of whiskey.
- And how do you know all this shit? - Because I work there, dumb-ass.
I want Minecraft, Halo 5 Guardians, Rise of the Tomb Raider,
Why do I care? Why do I care.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Maybe you're not as smart as you think you are.
- That's what I think. - I see what's going on here. Yes, I see.
Marcus couldn't fuck his way out of a wet paper bag.
♪ Sing we joyous all together Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second.
because I know for a fact that that husband isn't getting it done.
Because I'm all about the birth of Christmas.
You guys are really good at singing. I like to sing in the bathtub.
that I guess he forgot to pay for it.
Besides, it made a man of you. You are who you are because of me.
You know, the wise guys
See, that's what I thought.
♪ From Pennsylvania folks are trav'ling ♪
Okay. I'll only call if it's an emergency.
You know what you need? You need some pussy.
- Tell me how dirty it is. - Okay.
Or else I'll get her done.
- Where the hell have you been? - What are you, my fucking mother?
Now, listen, here's how it works.
I'd rather them have it than your sorry ass.
I said I was sorry. You gotta let that shit go, Willie!
- What's a hand release? - It's kind of a compromise.
Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!
Ow!
Are you shitting me? Really? You know the old lady's right.
- What the fuck? - You...
"Giving City Foundation.
Anything unusual, I wanna know about it. And cover the whole building.
I'm supposed to be a Santa.
Otherwise, leave me the fuck alone, okay?
After COVID I’m going to kill the workouts My Back:
- Time to get a move on. - Ew. Your mom?
Okay, just wait right here. Keep it running.
- What you got? - I have $20.
Would you cool it, pal?
I taught this muskrat everything he knows.
And if we got no access to the safe,
I'm gonna remind you to fuck yourself.
- Promise. - Yeah.
Keep it down.
- Kiddums. - Goddamn it. That's my mom.
What the hell is this?
So you could tell him to put his dick in your purse
I mean, you're the one that brought that little shit in.