Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What about Granny? I'm sure she misses you.
- Does this bus go to Chicago? - No.
Are you shitting me? Really? You know the old lady's right.
- What the fuck? - You...
♪ Sing we joyous all together Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
And we're very grateful. But you reek of whiskey.
It was always supposed to be this way, William.
I taught this muskrat everything he knows.
- Ooh! - Fucking asshole!
Otherwise, leave me the fuck alone, okay?
Now, listen, here's how it works.
Anything unusual, I wanna know about it. And cover the whole building.
- Kiddums. - Goddamn it. That's my mom.
Or did you get carpal tunnel from jacking off?
What the hell is this?
♪ You're gonna see me comin ' In a big black Cadillac ♪
♪ I met a man who lives in Tennessee ♪
- And how do you know all this shit? - Because I work there, dumb-ass.
Keep it down.
- You're burning my minutes. - But what if it's an emergency?
Marcus couldn't fuck his way out of a wet paper bag.
- Are you surprised? - No, this shit happens every day.
Oh, shit!
Well, sometimes you're not nice. But you're still Santa.
Find out everything. Schools, arrests, financials, meds.
So I help field incoming calls for the Santa appearances
Hundreds are better. What?
You might be, because, you know, certain pussy
Okay.
Besides, it made a man of you. You are who you are because of me.
I am strictly first-class.
Look at those cheeks!
♪ And the snow is on the ground ♪
Sir? This way, please.
- What's a hand release? - It's kind of a compromise.
That's none of your goddamn business what I do.
I’m not anything like you
What do you want?
I'm supposed to be a Santa.
I believe that's felching.
And spit on me.
- What you got? - I have $20.
Because I'm all about the birth of Christmas.
What were you thinking? You could have fucked this whole thing up.
I said I was sorry. You gotta let that shit go, Willie!
- You gotta stop that. - Well, I know you're not the Santa.
that I guess he forgot to pay for it.
Or else I'll get her done.
I'd rather them have it than your sorry ass.
And that is, if yours happens to be a bag of dicks, then fuck them.
Why do I care? Why do I care.
- Where the hell have you been? - What are you, my fucking mother?
And if we got no access to the safe,
Maybe you're not as smart as you think you are.
because I know for a fact that that husband isn't getting it done.
- Promise. - Yeah.
I mean, you're the one that brought that little shit in.
You didn't tell me I'd have to get in the fucking suit again.
Maybe we should take this upstairs.
You guys are really good at singing. I like to sing in the bathtub.
Okay, go, go, go, go, go!
Hey.
Giving City's gonna lose a record amount of money this year.
Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!
- Tell me how dirty it is. - Okay.
I'm gonna remind you to fuck yourself.
After COVID I’m going to kill the workouts My Back:
Go! Go, go, go, go!
- Don't test me, boy. - You're gonna shoot me too?
Let's do this.
I don't even know what fucking year it is, kid.
Ow!
I've gotta get this stuff to the auditorium.
You know, like, older Jewish guys, older Irish guys, dads.
Okay, just wait right here. Keep it running.
♪ Well, you be a real good little girl ♪
"Giving City Foundation.
So you could tell him to put his dick in your purse
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop. Some duct tape so I can build a boat.
See, that's what I thought.
You know, the wise guys
- Okay. - Hey, why don't we just do it right now.
Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second.
- Time to get a move on. - Ew. Your mom?
Shut the fuck up! Early release. Overcrowding.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Ticket please.
- Good. - Good night, Elf!
Would you cool it, pal?
it's when you play with your wiener and think about your mother.
Who you calling "son"?
That's quite a grip you got there. What are you, a lumberjack?
I'm glad I tea-bagged your drunk ass, you fucking piece-of-shit motherfucker!
You mean your nuts haven't been scraped off
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop.
- That's what I think. - I see what's going on here. Yes, I see.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
♪ From Pennsylvania folks are trav'ling ♪
It's a part of my release from the joint. I've been there 3 months.
Mind if join you?
Okay. I'll only call if it's an emergency.
Wait a fucking minute, you were embarrassed?
You know what you need? You need some pussy.
I want Minecraft, Halo 5 Guardians, Rise of the Tomb Raider,
I bet you got no idea how beautiful you really are.
- Who the fuck are you? - Grandma Willie!