Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

And I know you're not my real family,

Oh, my God! That feels amazing! Holy shit!

He's Cook. I'm Davis. We're here for the orientation.

And there's only one thing that can change that.

when you're representing the suit.

One time, I ate too much turkey bacon, I didn't poop for two weeks.

Make yourselves at home. Bedroom's mine.

♪ All is calm ♪

I'm a goddamn hero.

But I always burn my hand getting them out of oven.

Really? That's funny, I don't see your fucking name on it anywhere.

Besides that, I'm a fucking guy. You didn't turn funny, did you?

- She died. - When?

It was a one-time thing. That never happened.

♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪

And if we're being honest here, you, you guys should be supplying us

Now step the fuck back!

We're doing all the Christmas carols, "Silent Night," "Deck the Halls,"

Now if you think you can handle that,

Please say hello to Thurman Merman. Thurman?

I'm not missing The Bachelor finale.

I ain't sticking around. Just give it to Opal after.

- August fourth. - Fourth?

I'm just tired of that fucking coughing.

Well, I feel like General MacArthur must have felt when he put his uniform on

Hey, I'm gonna be home late again tonight.

- Well, I'm glad you followed your passion. - What's that smell?

Well, I guess this is what they call a happy ending.

Hey, kid, listen.

Guess you don't know what today is.

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

Yeah, yeah. That's great, that's great. I, I don't know.

♪ Heedless of the wind and weather Fa la la la la la la la la ♪

Yeah, maybe we'll do that.

What, you don't trust your mother?

♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

I'm talking about addiction, Mr. Cook.

Well, if this ain't fetal alcohol syndrome,

You mean like sex stuff? That kind of thing?

It's pretty, pretty fucking dirty, I guess.

♪ That's what Christmas means to me My love ♪

- I have 20. - Give it to her after.

This is really fun, Willie. I didn't even know you had a mom.

This guy's a pedophiliac, here, and he's after all your kids.

No, I don't need no fucking hug from Santa.

It's Christmas. A time for forgiveness. For family.

That's our take window. Last year, the haul was almost 2 mil.

Here's your ID.

the money's just sitting there, waiting for an armored transfer.

People ask me if I miss my old teeth.

and then get the hell out of there before anybody knows what's hit them.

Call me "Santa."

Fuck me, children, fuck me, Children, fuck me, children

Are you washing your fucking hands right now?

- It does? - No. On what fucking planet...?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Don't be touching me.

♪ Oh, there's no place like home For the holidays ♪

Well, Granny had a good run.

Like that will fucking stop me? Rigor mortis just make the pussy tighter.

Can we get a Chicago pizza? It's like pizza, but in Chicago.

Hey! Get off of him you little shit!

- All right, then. - That also...

- Hi, I'm Diane and I'm an alcoholic. - Hi, Diane.

He's the fucking kid diddler, not me. I'm a hero!

The fuck is going on? Hey, goddamn it!

You know every time you're passed out,

Uh, Willie, it's really cold here. I didn't bring a coat. Only my gloves.

I think I'm gonna go upstairs and watch It's a Wonderful Life

But when I put this suit on, I feel like...

No, shitstick. I brought you in. You're the safe cracker.

You really think I'd be dumb enough to put real bullets in that gun?

Shut the fuck up.

Ya! You no good motherfucker!

but that's only because I had to run off to the little boys' room.

Is he always this fucking useless?

We do hot sandwiches at Hungry Hoagies now.

Well, in fairness, I did leave it unattended,

You are a fucking pedophile!

Come on. Let's go.

- Who the hell is Willie? - Can I ride the bicycle now?

You're my shitstick. And nobody's gonna mess with you on my watch.

Christmas Eve, they have a big charity concert.