Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You got all these great guys.

- Ah! - I even almost had a friend once.

and I didn't even get a chance to smell that pussy.

Yes, I said "dossier."

♪ Heavenly hosts sing hallelujah ♪

Oh, yeah. Who's got the pussy lips now, motherfucker?

Now, see? Who the fuck does he think he is talking to you that way?

- I'm all ears. How wild? - What?

And the kid, he still creeps around every now and then

- Goddamn, did you eat your own shit? - No, I've been eating caramels.

- Are you out of your goddamn mind? - A hug from Santa!

You mean a living fucking nightmare? Why didn't you say so? I'm in.

- Hey, you're wet. - No shit. What can I do for you?

What's she doing with that shoe? Oh, God!

You tried to murder me, you little prick. Remember that?

♪ Merry Merry Christmas ♪

But I thought your dad was the one you hated.

- Go figure. - Why the fuck would you call me?

No, I suppose they don't.

Why do you have to go so soon? We just got back together.

Lying little fuck.

Why the fuck were they at an AA meeting?

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

So they made me a full-time sandwich consultant.

- We still got it, kid. - Yeah, I guess so.

- Ten dollars or more. - Okay.

Yeah, we'll get a pizza. No sweat.

No, I don't do that.

And if you don't have cash, you can always text XMAS 999...

Oh, yeah, she's something. I'm sure they only made one of her.

But if we get fired, we got no access to the building.

You know what, I think you're some kind of pervert

- You didn't tell me to bring a coat. - I didn't tell you to come.

Damn it, Willie. Hurry up! We're gonna miss our train.

Bullshit. No fucking way. Fucking cash only.

But I think I can sneak you guys in. Come on.

- Why's that such a surprise? - Well...

washed it down with a liter of this gin...

- Is that close to Chicago? - No.

I sure did. In my late 20's.

Maybe I don't blame you. But things change at the end of the road.

Come on, baby. Come on.

- Maybe he's an alcoholic. - Brilliant insight, Dorfman.

Ah, rohypnol. Excellent icebreaker.

World's gonna be a better place without the fucking Sokes in it.

So if a happy ending is staring at you right in the fucking face,

- You're not mad, are you? - Mad? No. Because I get you.

Don't say "Mama." No mom stuff!

Anyway, it took this new set of teeth to finally see the light.

You see me walking backwards, asshole? I'm coming.

♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪

Romantic proposal at Bad Santa party By Snupy Dooley

What... What is that?

Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!

where they put the "whee" in wheels.

then what the fuck is it?

Christina Hendricks

Kid, get over here and take your pants off.

- Don't worry, I'm fine. - I'm not worried.

♪ All is bright ♪

And I could still fill that shot glass with this man's jizz.

I'm in fucking Chicago, kid.

Daddy Fuck me like your dirty little slut

Probably take me about three minutes. Three and a half tops.

End-of-the-year accounting stuff.

checking their list twice.

Not so big now, are you?

Giving City is a charity at 98 cents every dollar

I need full dossier on a Randall Cook.

Hooker being Scrooge?? Half Off for Holidays!!

Well, according to this report,

You got one job this time. Open a safe.

And if a fight breaks out, go straight for the nuts or gouge an eye out.

And you're the family I picked.

- Fuck me, Santa! - There you go.

Five-ways? How many holes do you have?

Yeah. I found this in the bedside table.

Mind giving me a hand over here?

- What? Why would I want a tree? - So we can spend Christmas together.

- Can I fix you a sandwich? - No.

- Start over. - ♪ Oh yeah candles burning low ♪

I'm gonna spend my whole day with a bunch of damn kids on my lap?

Hey, Greta. Could you, uh, get me a rag and a real drink, please?

Anyway, I think you ought to be working the sexual angle with her,

Put that shit away.

He heard a noise in the fucking vent. What's the big deal?