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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- But surely, you jerked off or... - You mean masturbate, don't you?
Hey, don't forget to remind people,
Do you ever feel like you hit rock bottom?
What the... Am I tripping?
The fuck?
Alcohol led me to make some not-so-good choices.
♪ 'Round yon virgin mother and child ♪
You know the rules and you're flouting them.
I'm sorry, what?
Listen, I'll tell you what,
Actually, there aren't such things as endings at all,
@iposttwerkers
Harder! Yes!
And Willie was in such a hurry to get me my elephant
Thank you for helping us out again.
A guy who if I asked him to choke me, would enjoy it just a little too much.
...you can only puke in somebody's lap so many times
Bye, Elf. Bye, Willie's mom.
How you doing, beautiful?
- Hey, Homeo, you got the key? - I'm gonna need a little more time.
I have no idea what that shit is.
But, you see...
Can you still crack a safe?
Aw, come on, we're having family time here.
N ice job on the safe, though. Yeah, I'm real proud of you.
I'm talking Chrysler 300, factory-direct, fully loaded.
- ♪ Well, you be a real good little baby ♪ - Hey, hey, hey!
♪ Well, you be a real good little baby Santa Claus is back in town ♪
- You're really fun, but just... - I'm not tall enough for you?
You think it was raining presents in my backyard when I was a kid?
That's my boy!
- I got your sandwich, baby. - Willie, I made you a sandwich.
and he wouldn't know any fucking difference.
- Let go of me. - Aw!
Well, fuck a duck. Anyway, uh, the point is that I miss this.
and you gotta go and take a dump on that too.
And if we got no access to the building, we got no access to the safe.
so we're perfect for each other.
Look, I, I put up with a lot of shit from kids...
I'll tell you why I care. Because the world's a fucking shit hole.
Ronald Davis. I was told you have a suit to fit me.
Merry fucking Christmas.
You sure it was a phone ring? Might have just been the fan turning over.
and finance the whole operation.
No, I waited for you.
- Or is it the dwarf? - Regent.
Mmm.
gigity goo fuck your wife like that
Keep poking it in there till he spits up.
♪ Lots of mistletoe ♪
Just hurry your ass!
You just pipe down about the family stuff, okay?
All right, let's sync them up, boys. At 7:45, the power goes down.
we ring the bell, just like the rest of the volunteers.
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- Is this an emergency? - No.
♪ Down your chimney tonight Ooh ♪
- You sweet little muskrat. - Don't get all choked up.
- or whatever it was? - What the fuck you say?
ME WHE MY COUSIN SAYS OMETHING WEIRD ME FR
Hey!
- I met Regent... - Wait a minute, hang on.
Yeah, you damn right I got a problem with it.
Uh, I don't know. Some vodka...
Never mind. What the fuck are you doing?
Uh, I can't say I feel the same.
Darlene says I should put butter on my hand, but that's stupid.
Hey, you know why we call him "shitstick"?
I just don't want you hacking up your lung in my drink, okay?
You gotta be shitting me. Good luck with the shakes.
Goddamn it.
You know, they'd grant Charles Manson fucking parole if it wasn't for one thing.
- You're the talent, not him. - Hey, Randall!
fuck me really hard bryan make me cum
Willie, what are you doing? Did you get yourself stuck up there?
Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
Okay, shitstick, just give me back the money for the train ticket,
- That's a level-nine surveillance. - Yeah.
♪ Holy night ♪
Oh. Where's Cook?
Now, you stand behind her and drop your rig.
- All right. I'll see you. - Bye, Willie.