Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

That's what I've done Janine

This is my friend Bob and Karen. Hi.

Men fool around because of this.

Legs like BLAM Titties like POW

Yeah, what's your motherfucking problem, man?

Give me half, Manny! Give me half, mister 'fuck you' man!

- 48 Hrs. Has to be. - Trading Places.

lf I ever get married, I have to go off to the woods of Africa

All of a sudden they was like, State your case.

And women love them songs. They be going:

Yes, Eddie. Well, you give what you get.

lt was all for one and one for all. We stuck together.

Put that with the rest...

Now, love and money do not mix. The shit don't mix.

and the most business-smart women on the planet. Now, in the '80s.

Because she catered to his ego. They can figure us out.

put his little birthday hat on and he looked at all the children.

And women know all they have to do is cater to our egos enough

I was like, Hello, Mr. Cosby? And you hear:

Youth to the government: What have U done for me lately?

and all they got is the curses.

Lovers on the beach making love.

Well, I... Then you don't own me then, OK?

You don't own me.

At McDonald's, they use buns, the meat covers the whole bread.

And they make you wait. And you wait and wait and wait and wait.

Hey, shut up. Don't you ever... I'll fucking kick your ass inside here.

But y'all don't do no moves, it's just this:

This is the island for lovers.

Best Jello and broth?

Message to the White House

You kicked the dude's ass. Relax.

Some shit like that.

...that knows nothing about money. She got to be butt naked on a zebra

Those are the worst white people to fight, especially around Rocky time.

And send your woman off to the romantic Bahamas by herself?

300 million and 70 300 million and 70

'Fuck you and your ugly bitch.' I say, 'Yo, Ed.

Then he slap me and my man in the face.

A Slinky, a Slinky They're fun for a girl and a boy

I want you to go in the refrigerator and get the meat

Because all I'm asking

with the real hard bottoms. When they about 1 years old,

And he says, 'Pop, the man comes out and says these things.'

I was mad. I called my mother up. You know how you do.

you're stepping and hitting and...

And I picture this is going on, my pops is home like this, drunk:

YOU DONT OWN ME

Youths to the gov't: What have U done for me lately?

I said, Fuck this, I'm getting out.

You could just *graze* nuts

I say, Miss Murphy. Miss Murphy. And I'm gonna bring her home.

You making Egg McMuffins.

you can't touch the phone. Bye-bye, phone, for Lillian.

What do you mean, a prenuptial agreement?

I just lost my motherfucking job

'Pop, he walks out and he goes:

I'm gonna settle your problem, motherfucker!

Marry Harry, I get ... HALF!!

and everybody's real romantic. The motion of the ocean

But I refuse to let you go, Lillian

Oh, I didn't know you was here. You scared me.

What's your problem? I'm just a little shy.

Now we have $300 million and 70.

If you were my woman, I make love to you constantly.

Yeah, I see. Y'all some disillusioned ladies clapping right now.

We have a relationship.

And the child walks in the room with the smile

But I want McDonald's hamburger.

He said, That's a Japanese thing. They bow.

Y'all the most resourceful

One, two, three, four, five. Five... Five children.

That's the God's honest truth. lt is the truth. Stop it. lt's the truth.

They get her alone, they be like, I can't stand the way you be

I’m sorry Chef doesn't allow substitutions

Get the fuck out, motherfucker...

Like, we'll go out and sneak out to the hotel

when you urinate?

I know you, Eddie!

And then he started peeing on the lion's head.

I'll make you a hamburger better than McDonald's.

Fuck you, Eddie!

I didn't catch everything that you did. I worked all day, you played all day.

Pull over. I'm gonna read him his rights.

Y'all didn't get mad when he took Brooke Shields to the Grammys.

What does that chunk want?

And we so stupid,

We had to eat whatever my father brought home from work.

You Heard What I Said Moolie PAY FOR MY FUCKING CANDY!

and they stomp you in the nuts with both feet.

You don’t like it, Get the fuck outta my house!

Look at all the women in the audience right now looking up here like this:

Hey, baby, you need to get away more often.

Jay U ain’t all that

Yeah, go to your mother, please. What's the matter, he stink?

Brothers, we go to the disco, get all fucked up,

You cook better than McDonald's?

They always from somewhere else.

Green peppers hanging out of it and shit.

You couldn't give no curse show. Walk out, say, Hey, Felt Forum,

Looking for Miss Right, you be gambling every time.

One, 'Lillian cannot use the phone.'

I like funny girls, funny women.

Walk up to a white dude and step on his foot. And he says:

Then, for dessert, they're gonna pull out a Hostess cupcake

Nothing from Sutton leaves nothing

and I gotta eat a goddamn Slinky?

Hey I just got some regular old crackers

R-E-S-Z-C-P Find out what you mean to me

He worked at the Coleco toy factory, Eddie, and made 1 3 cents a week.

Then He kicked him in the ding ding

I'm not making McDonald's, I'm making Mama's burger.

and let me have some Bon Bons.

And you roll over one day and be like:

OK, wait a minute!

I'm going, No, I'm Ed. I just had a fight.

until you went to sleep, I would come inside the room and kill you.

He looks like he can whip some ass, right?

I kick him in his nuts. Always talking about kicking somebody in the nuts.

I didn't know what to do, because I could act like I could fight good.

lf he's not here with you tonight, he fucking somebody.

Got to Have a J-O-B lf You Wanna Be With Me.

lt was real weird, because I had never met him

Muuuustard on the beat hoe!

I want hamburgers.

When he said “Take me, Babe” Yaaassssss

All women have done something that only them

Before we get married, why don't you sign this prenuptial agreement.

I ate Baltic and Ralph Avenue. Yes, I did.