Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You just placed the new art director over at GQ, right?

- Date number five. - I wasn't even counting.

dayle pinner and jack lucy cameron day and james dermer

The really, really tall one with the antenna on top of it, the windows.

The girl I brought home to LA, Jamie?

My life is already pretty great.

Forgot my saw. I'll be right back.

Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off, so I'll be there for three days.

The sympathy close.

- Were you also gay back then? - Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!

No, it was like eight months ago.

who's filling in for tony millionaire? craig rucastle.

Come on! Go away with me. Come on!

Pool's a little cold, but it's very expensive to heat, so...

I'm sure that was the line in the movie you saw.

Let's go to the bedroom.

that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay.

- Jet Skis later? - Definitely.

do you really not remember where my dad's from?

- Do you want some motherly love advice? - Not really.

- Really? Already? - Just kidding.

Hey, easy, dude. Don't you go casting a spell on her.

- You up? - Yeah. Come in.

As long as you get your feet off my bed. They're disgusting.

That's Dylan, right?

- We're okay. - Yeah. Thank you.

Okay, what about her?

Okay, all right.

Do you want a banana or not?

- Thank you. - Welcome to New York, sir.

New York can be a little bit lonely at times.

And that I love you.

- Really? - No, go fuck yourself.

- And emotions. - And guilt.

- Jamie, you all good with your room? - Yeah. No, it's perfect.

- Hold on. - What's wrong?

All part of the illusion.

Hey. I gotta go. You have a great trip in LA and call me when you land.

See, most girls think you should start off soft,

Dylan, I gotta stop thinking it's not me.

The sneak-out. How incredibly cliché of you.

Nobody wants to fuck Obama, brah.

But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly, and we'd never speak to each other again.

I can handle anything except that look in people's eyes.

- get into some erotic humiliation fantasy. - Erotic?

That he was just coming to New York to explore his options.

I actually never knew my dad.

You haven't met my family. You don't know what you're in for.

I like to drink my yogurt. It's a timesaver.

And then, when I'm at my lowest point,

What, sex? That doesn't mean anything. You know that.

Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life.

- Under MILF. - Oh, my God.

Right. How is Dad?

who's filling in for vik jekumar? jasmin trutwein.

Whatever happens, happens. I told you, I don't really want it.

I love that boat.

Well, the good news is, he has so many good ones.

Zerty Exe is the horror game

Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now. Say my name. Yeah...

Welcome to New York go and fuck a dick!

STOP DOING DRUGS, FATTY

I've also never transferred heroin in my rectum,

- Jamie. Hey. - Hey.

- Do you like this position? - Yeah, it's all right.

Like you can't breathe. Like no oxygen to the lungs.

You will be able to find the perfect candidate to fill the position at your company.

So it's always just about sex, then?

You gonna join me?

- It was stupid. - Yes.

It's so good to see you, baby. I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.

but the quality in this town is ridiculous.

Well, then I guess you must have been an idiot for the past six months.

I wanna do a campfire, like when you were little.

That's not who you want.

If you were his girlfriend, he never would've brought you here.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

After college I was really into cargo pants.

You missed a little. There you go.

- Hey. - And your pants are coming off.

- But I thought you said... - I know what I said.

Dylan, I think I wanna start dating again.

- I thought you were going to bed. - I was.

Come on, Keep looking.

- Hey. - Amazing moment.

It's good to see you, buddy.

- It's more about what's inside. - Oh, please!

I didn't even blink when I told him to go fuck himself.

Sign it and I will be out of here.

Well, with friends like you, who needs friends?

It'd be really hard.

I'll crush your earlobes and make soup stock out of them.

Hey, sir, what's that tall building over there?

- Okay. - How's Jamie?

I showed her where the balcony was,

Alcohol. Now we're talking.

Do you have a hot model in a bikini standing on an icecap?

Okay, this was not on Seinfeld.

Come on, what's your dad think about all this?

Of course I was scared.

- Are you pooping? - No.

and it will get eight million hits.

You are not allowed to do that Ricky Van Shelton will vomit

Well, I have a video image.

- My hammies are killing me. - Have a banana, they're in the fridge.

So does the carpet match the drapes?

You always pick people up like this?

Build up as many walls as possible. That's really healthy.

Oh, my God. I got it, I got it.

Look at all the cameras.

- Wait, I got it? - They called about five minutes ago.

yes beryl q1qterette? what do you want? i want to do some njerrridjddkddoip in nanjing.

Okay. His name is Parker. He's a children's oncologist.

Why don't you pick him up?

- How you doing, buddy? - I'm good.

You know, my friends used to say that when Dede and I looked at each other,

- Swear. - Swear.

No, it's not a gay bar.

- You want a drink? - Yeah!

Come on, it's fine.

It's just surprising. I always thought you were a true-love kind of girl.

And thank you for letting me stay here. It's been pretty great.

Hey, you know what? You and I should stay friends.

Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor.

GO AND FUCK A DICK

Lasorda was a good pitcher, but he was an even better manager.