Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen or watching me?

I mean, we all have our Prince Charming, you just gotta know him when you see him.

- Tonight? - Yeah.

Or her, if you're into that Kind of creepy shit.

Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.

I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you.

I have to seat people in the order they came.

You guys bicker like you're an old married couple.

Because that'll be like the third time since I moved here,

- Wanna go in the bedroom? - No. Here's fine.

By the way, why did you take your door off its lovely hinges?

I worked 36 hours straight. I don't even know how I got to the park.

SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS PUSSY SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS JUNK NIGGER PUSSY ASSHOLE ASSHOLES AND DICKS FUCK ME SHIT FAGGOT NIGGER!!!!!

- Okay. - Okay.

- But... - No buts.

I woke up one day and I said, Lorna... I'm Lorna.

It's not adding up to a hundred any more.

Can you imagine someone who would actually say that?

You called me a pussy!

or having to go to the bathroom.

But let me tell you something, what this is teaching me

but you're more interested in getting swept off your feet

Should we stop? We could just go for a run.

and it actually kinked my neck a bit.

I owe you big time, Tommy.

Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy.

My friend Dave from across the hall, his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.

I'm standing right by the guy in the tie.

Yeah, to explore an option. Who wouldn't want to know their options?

But it'd be even more awesome if this happened.

- Why are you avoiding me? - I'm not.

Nice work on that new online site, by the way.

I always want to see something really cool. What...

and they put the music in later.

All right, look, I think I should probably tell you something.

9:00. So it's a five-hour flight, three-hour time difference,

I saw you creeping out of her room the other night.

It was super awesome back then.

And now we know why you're here.

- Hi. - Morning.

What? What? Where are you going?

I live in Jersey, and I ain’t taking no ferry

- Who says I'm looking for anything? - Dylan.

That is Empire State Building.

- Cleveland's not an island. - Oh, baby, it is.

I've seen Seinfeld.

Well, they're either lying or their vaginas are made out of burlap.

Look at you in the house!

That's some Prince Charming shit, though, right?

- I'm just kidding. - Okay.

- Well? - We talked. We laughed.

Yeah. How's Dad?

I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.

Why can't it not be like that?

That's exactly what this is.

I love that sunsets make you cry

Mom, this who's your daddy game is getting really old.

Okay, well, that's technically, I guess, what this is.

- You sold me. - Really?

Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China and...

Hello, this is Jamie.

You know, you'd be really proud of me.

I'm sorry. That sucks.

to introduce you to my family.

Happily ever after.

Shit you're okay with.

I am an asshole.

When women start to scream, it could be misconstrued.

No, I think we both need to go get happy.

I'm gonna have to check my schedule. I'm really busy.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

They do. It's called porn.

I don't know, are we getting too old for this?

I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.

I don't know what to tell you. She's not for me. I don't like her like that.

But seriously, my door is always open.

so I just crashed in your bed.

I’m pretty sure that’s Third Eye Blind

For confidentiality reasons, no.

I just feel like we should chill for a while, you know?

And then there's something, I don't know what he says right there...

Okay. So I'll listen to you while you give me a hand job.

God, you totally didn't get anything that I was saying, did you?

and I lost her because of something so dumb I don't even remember.

they put in at the end to try to convince you that you had a great time at this shitty movie.

- He's not a girl. - He smells like a girl.

you're emotionally unavailable? oh yea

Well, here's your open space.

Well, no. For a job, probably not.

Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.

Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.

and compliment me for looking at the trees and not the sunbathers.

Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p

Sports is the last chance we have of bringing our world together, bro.

That's not funny.

- Butt. - Voice.

I Can Work With That

Preaching to the choir. You're supposed to preach to the congregation.

No. I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole.

- Hand on the iPad. - Okay.

- Potato, potato... - Get your shoes.

I'm sorry, were you waiting for me to jump in?

- No, I haven't. - Yeah, you have.

- In public? In front of all these people? - I did not ask you to...

What? Did I leak?

So is leaving your husband and kids.