Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

AND YOU SHOULDN'T GO TO HER WEDDING.

SO, WE DO NOTHING?

UNLESS THEY STOCK THEM AT HOME DEPOT,

EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHICH FLOOR TO GO TO.

WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS JUNK?

WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE CEREMONY

YOU SELL PORN? NO!

I HAD A FRIEND -- LET'S CALL HIM PHILLIP --

THIS MAN IS AN AWARD-WINNING NOVELIST,

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU'RE NOT DESTINED TO BE ALONE. YOU HAVE SHEL.

OH, YOU KNOW, THE ZUCCHINI PATCH.

OH, JESS, COME ON. YOU DID THIS COMPLETELY WRONG.

A FRIEND OF MINE IS HERE,

SOME OF YOU MAY EVEN HAVE BEEN INCAPABLE OF SAYING IT AT ALL.

IT'S NOT FAIR. WE JUST BROKE UP.

WE'VE GOT TO SERVE THE SOUP. PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING IT.

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

DO YOU SEE HER FACE?

BUT AT THE END OF THE CALL, I DO BELIEVE I HEARD A KNOCK

I ALREADY TOLD YOU YOU CAN DO THIS,

HE'S YOUNG, HE'S BUSY.

BECAUSE OF THE RATE OF POPULATION INCREASE?

LET'S GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK.

AND I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH ANYONE ELSE.

I HAVE VERY LITTLE IN MY LIFE.

I HAD THIS FRIEND -- LET'S CALL HIM PHILLIP --

OH, I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE FRUITY.

THAT IS PROFESSOR ASHER FLEMING OF YALE UNIVERSITY.

YOU DROPPED THE BOMB AND RAN?

I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A FIGHT SINCE SIXTH GRADE.

DID HE TAKE IT WELL?

[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

YOU'RE ABOUT TO SELL HIS SPLEEN TO UCLA.

ISN'T KANSAS LOUSY WITH WHEAT?

HE DROPPED HIS SPOON, AND WHEN I PICKED IT UP,

TONIGHT'S BEEN SORT OF AN EYE-OPENER.

SHE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE GRASPING THAT CONCEPT.

GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU.

I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT IT, THAT'S ALL.

100 BUCKS? THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH.

ISN'T POLITICAL WRITING JUST ANOTHER FORM OF PROPAGANDA?

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I WANT A DESK AND A CHAIR AND A BED.

WHY DON'T I JUST WAIT TILL THE PLACE IS REPOSSESSED?

I CAME HERE BECAUSE OF YOU.

OKAY, YOU ARE DROPPING TWO DESSERTS OFF THE MENU.

YOU'RE TIRED, STRESSED OUT, AND NOT SEEING THINGS CLEARLY.

OH, I'M HAVING A GAY OLD TIME.

YOU WANT IT? YOU CAN HAVE IT.

I STOP DRINKING COFFEE, I STOP DOING THE STANDING

HEY, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE ONION SOUP I MADE TODAY?

THE CAT. I THINK HE FLIPPED ME OFF WITH HIS TAIL.

ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?

YOU SAID IT AND WALKED AWAY?

HAVE I SAID THANK YOU TO YOU RECENTLY?

I WASN'T SURE HE WAS COMING. I WENT TO SEE HIM IN NEW YORK.

BEST BACHELOR PARTY EVER!

IT'S STILL POSSIBLE I'M GONNA HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP.

WE SLEPT WITH THE ZUCCHINI.

TO TRIUMPH ABOVE YOUTHFUL OMNISCIENCE,

HOW MANY TAPES ARE WE WATCHING TONIGHT?

I MEAN, YOU READ ALL THESE AWFUL STORIES IN THE PAPER --