Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

So, I guess Jerry just, um,

- Whoo! - I'll take you on, you sissy.

This is great business.

So though we are in danger we never despair

- I'm fine. - Good.

Coming back from commercial, and--

Tell Kaufman this network will never air this program.

- Latka! - haven't had the advantages that you've had.'

They love me, they hate me, they walk out. It's all great.

I will have both!

Actually, Bud, you're wrong.

George, what am I supposed to do?

Okay, but please, let him down gently.

I wanna reach the top.

- Ah, I'm sorry. They're a bunch of assholes. - Yeah.

that maybe I could charge people to touch it.

That's what I'm good at.

Hi, Eleanor. It's great to have you here. It's a real honor.

Hey, George. I'm not sure we can do anything for you.

but, um, it's not a gag, Bob.

I had it taped down and everything.

Yeah. That's true.

...dropped to the canvas--

Andy needs to relax. This is your job.

Thank you very much.

Now get in the ring. I'll give you a free headlock. Okay? Come on!

Fuck you! I'm not goin'!

Bullshit, bullshit, my line.

we feel that it's best...

Your love has given me wings

What do you say?

Hang your stocking and say your prayers

You can have this one.

Or whether I'm wrong

Abu-dabi Abi-dabu-ah

I know I'll stay "aleeve"

Let Kaufman get in there, and let's see what kind of man he is.

- Moist towelette? - No.

W-Would Andy like to tell us...

I go to the retreat every year.

Today's special guest, Mr. Bear.

- That is-- That is in terrible taste.

was so that I could have my own special.

Uh, Mr. Kaufman gets his own network special.

- Andy is very sincere. - Right.

No, no, please keep it down. We've got a long way to go.

What the hell's goin' on?

- Drink of water? Aspirin? - Nope.

- They say he's not following the technical requirements. - Technical?

I'm keeping flowers in full bloom

I need this place like I need a shotgun blast to the face!

The cancer started in Andy's lungs...

What the hell are you talkin' about, George?

we just don't wish your presence here.

until the audience can't stand it and they turn into children right in front of me.

Bo-o-ob! Bo-o-ob!

I know the college kids really like Andy Kaufman.

This cannot leave this room.

You are getting a once-in-a-lifetime,

Forty million people are watching your ass every week, Kaufman.

This is not funny.

I have to ask your permission to fire Tony.

Sir, there 's a problem down on the Kaufman special.

Is it an act? Is it an act?

stupid jokes and canned laughter!

they have it all over men.

- I hate sitcoms, George. I've never liked them. - Hold on.

Then you get killed, and I did the booking.

Do you want me to come over, we'll talk about it?

- Latka! - 'just remember that all the people of this world...

to make it real, some of you down there knew what was going on and some of you didn't.

and if you ever need representation, we should talk.

Ladies and gentlemen,

- Did he hurt someone else? - No, no. It's not that.

Uh, I particularly suggest the lotus root.

Oh, well we were dancin'

It's good, old-fashioned entertainment, George. Everyone loves a villain.

I found out today that Taxi has been canceled.

to star on a prime time network sitcom!

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

This is serious. I went to the hospital.

- Shut up! - Boo!

- Some fan threw something. - Who did that?

I see them. I see the white cells.

Dreaming of you

Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave.

Baby, blue, blue blue suede shoes, honey

That's the one I have to do? Okay, let me see.

Andy, I got something better.