Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Trannies are this nation’s backbone
Biden’s Plan
Come on, little buddies. Come on.
He's up in the polls.
That's a great question, Carl. Thank you for asking it.
...and bought 50 foreclosed homes in this district? What are you doing?
You own a chocolate Lab and a golden retriever, two highest-polling dogs.
Congressman, are you taking money to promote Menthol 1 00s or not?
...and I'm a little emotional.
He's a little stressed out.
My sons calls the teacher a cocksucker… Turn the page, it says, we watch encanto
[TRlPP LAUGHS]
The other one's looking at the other one, going, What?
Rule #1
WADE: This is the 14th district of North Carolina and the city of Hammond.
But on this election day, if you choose to vote for me, know this:
NARRATOR: And where exactly was Marty Huggins on 9/1 1 ?
MlTCH: Holy smokes. Done. You had your fun. -This is over. Damn. You had your fun.
We're gonna run them both. Let's turn the heat up on Mr. Marty Huggins.
Look, l'd like to say one thing: Marty Huggins for Congress in '012.
[ALL CHUCKLlNG]
We didn't have any idea that you had this kind of talent.
[SPEAKS lN SPANlSH]
Hey, Cam. Come on, we gotta go.
I feel like I’m maintaining Am I maintaining?
Just like we rehearsed.
HOPE EVERYONE MAKES IT TO THE PTF!
...and it had a giraffe in high heels.
...over allegations of using federal funds to purchase his mistress's fake breasts.
Well, I appreciate you saying that, Cam.
...that we're not gonna stand for the mudslinging that's tearing this country apart.
CAM JR.: Yeah. -Seeing any girls yet?
...a.k.a. the Greek Baker...
He told the truth.
What did you do After buying a Sidewinder?
-Are we doing what I think we're doing? -l don't know.
[GRUNTlNG]
Have them put down humanely
...we're not gonna be mad.
-Ooh! -Oh.
Your nickname in school was Tickle Shits. I'm gonna see if it's true.
CARTER: Sometimes democracy moves with the stroke of a pen...
-Why? -To make my farts glow.
-Pull up your pants, honey. -Okay.
Do we kill him?
No. You cannot have guns in here. Are you crazy?
PO!!! WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
Welcome to the show!
daniel bessa and bray riccardo. ann davidson and ross waitr.
Don't listen to him, Cam.
-Cam, it smells horrible in here. -lt's not that bad once you get used to it.
And we immediately sold that real estate and debt...
[AUDlENCE CHEERS]
Goddamn it, I'm so proud of you. I mean--
Kelly when asked about Christmas
TAYTAY TOMORROW
-Oh, I remember that name. -Mm-hm.
Welcome to the f**kin show
How do you expect to do that?
Give us this day our daily...
I do not want to live in Rainbow Land...
There you go, Marty. Amen, Marty. Jesus loves you, Marty.
You can't make me live in rainbow land!
CAM: My dream maker. Thanks for coming out.
ALL: Yeah!
Strong. Real strong.
I swear. I swear on my mother's grave. Okay? lsn't that enough? Come on.
-Mind if I talk to my man here? -Sure.
...every single dime, will be used to defeat Marty Huggins.
Candidate Huggins shot his opponent, Congressman Brady, in a hunting accident...
I find it tragic when someone isn't recognized for perfection.
All right, I gotta go. Donald Trump O’24
Like lick each other's buttholes in a Denny's bathroom
I did this because I love my home and I wanted to help out.
-Dad. -Oh, shit.
-Oh, God. -Ugh. Breast.
[AUDlENCE MURMURlNG]
Hmm.
You have factories in China. Why are you gonna bring them here?
Your brother Tripp is a bull's-eye.
lt's not a real place!
Be my Drew Carey.
I promise.
You Fucked Up
What are you doing? You're fucking up, baby bro.
Overtime firefighters are this nation’s backbone
I got crazy, Marty.
Fucking cunt ass Serpent bit me!
We are acquiring massive parcels of real estate under a shell corporation...
And I won.
[AUDlENCE BOOS]
-lt's a $900 haircut. MlTCH: Don't talk about that, Cam.
Oh, jam a lit sparkler up my dickhole. That is painful.
And today opponent Marty Huggins did the craziest stunt to date.
The entire country is talking about what you did.
But every day, it's the same thing.
Keep your heads bowed, please.
DON'T YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS, MIGUEL!
-He has ascended. -Cam!
Are you tryin to Trash talk me
...and make sure that everything's gonna be civil, you know?
-Cam, do you think I'm an idiot? -l do not.
I could be your dad.
Turn the page.....
Hey! Get some American Beers you commie!
You know why?
I FEEL LIKE IM MAINTAINING
-Do you know what it is? -Yeah. But I ain't gonna tell you, dick sweat.
...because if he was, oh, Jesus would give him a tongue-lashing.
MlTZl: They're homeschooled. -They're good eaters.
Do your dogs ever go to a different room?
Oh, no. Easy, slow.
Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove
Is anyone asking how my hand feels
Welcome to the f**kin show
You don’t have the faith of god!
I started drinking again.
-Sit down. -Okay.
GLENN: lt'll save a fortune in shipping.
Why are they denied modern technology?
Eight years ago, actress Rosie Perez passed through...
They got him in a hundred-dollar suit and gave him a $5 haircut.
Mood.
-Sad. -Well, Raymond Huggins' boy Marty?
Here he is, the man of the hour.
Chinese dogs
Got a book of bad ideas? I got a book of great ideas; And that's the first one!
Hee Haw!
All his paperwork is here.
Cam Brady, have you not wrought enough evil on this home?!
MlTCH: I just found out some interesting news. -Mm-hm.
Why would you do this? You just killed the campaign.
You got a lot of energy, don't you?
-You don't know how to trash-talk, do you? -[WHlSPERlNG] I do know how to.
Matty Ice? Big Fat Pussy Whose Too Afraid to do What it Takes to Win
[SHRlEKS]
I think anybody that writes about the redistribution of wealth...
I ain't much of nothing.
-All right. -That's how we do.
That balloon is full of your own fart toots That balloon is full of your own fart toots
-Worst as in...? -ln the history of numbers.
Welcome To The Fu**ing Show
MARTY: Okay. Hey, Daddy.
-l don't wanna see it. -You're welcome.
Click it. Click it real good.