Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, listen to me, Jeff.
[CHUCKLES]
GAIL: Jesus. Sounds pretty bad.
She lets go of that purse, I'm on my way.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
It depends. He comes, he goes.
Firemen trying to get me out of the car. I'm trapped because some son...
He forgot to bring it.
Do you honestly think that...?
Well, now we know they're definitely safe.
I've been a lawyer for 12 years.
Make sure the judge sees it, okay?
He's all right. He just needs a little time, that's all.
Anything I tell you, you know?
The judge is guilty Wait a minute.
Let's just get you to the hospital, get you checked out.
You're the one that put me through law school.
Why? Polygraph is not admissible evidence.
Now, that's true, because I don't.
[WARREN & JAY LAUGHING]
I mean, we are so opposite,
No.
on people's lives. Wait a minute.
You know what I mean?
I'm aware that I'm not particularly, uh, well-liked.
[LAUGHS]
Your Honor, in light of the fact that this is the defendant's first major offense,
Got anything to say?
Hi, Mr. Kirkland. Nice to see you. ARTHUR: How are you today?
I just borrowed it for the night, and now how am I gonna tell him?
Because during sex,
How are you? Good to see you.
I mean, he killed kids. You see?
What are you doing, judge? Jerking me off, here?
[COUGHS]
That's not the point.
You're gonna find yourself representing a sacrificial lamb.
You're a wonderful man, Grandpa.
I know that. That's right.
[ALL LAUGHING]
SALTZMAN: What kind of world do we live in?
Hang somebody for armed robbery. Try it.
Yeah.
Well, you mean, we're not gonna make it back?
Nothing can be done. Now, I don't buy that, judge.
And he was too busy.
[SCREAMS]
Arthur... Gail, on my life?
Mr. Kirkland. Damn it, Arthur!
With you, it's still new and exciting.
[WARREN & JAY LAUGHING]
Uh, I'm Arthur Kirkland. You wanted to see me?
Fleming got me crazy. You push Fleming
Sam, I love you.
Only it's not that simple.
He pushes me aside,
I can't get anything from anybody. I'll see you later.
To say, you know... To wave to her, to say hello.
And other stuff too.
I find the defendant, Ronald Wenke, guilty.
[CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO]
What the hell are you doing?
Tell you the punchline. You're gonna love this.
I'm placing you on probation for one year.
But this is crazy, you know? I know it. I know it.
RAYFORD: Here, let me show you something.
Any other judge would have let you out, but this guy,
Don't quote the law. My client is innocent.
Nothing. I don't have to do anything.
Last week, we went for a ride in the car. Remember?
A defense lawyer has to defend people who are guilty.
How'd you know there was one, Ralph?
PRISONER 3: Don't put that in here. Chick ain't my type.
GUARD 2: Come on, Kirkland. Let's go.
Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.
No, sir, I'm not trying to make a deal.
RAYFORD: Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order.
because you hate him so much, right?
Arthur, the committee is doing something about what's going on.
The honorable Francis Rayford presiding.
and I tell you, I can't find five people out there
Okay.
Hi. Hi, Sherry.
I said, Oh. Sounded like, Go.
What about this guy here?
Arthur, you're talking crazy now. You don't know he's guilty.
Now, sit down. I've got a lot of work to do.
We're not going after anyone, Mr. Kirkland. We are simply...
You say, Pass the salt.
The son of a bitch is guilty!
If he's allowed to go free,
Are you sure I had my teeth this morning?
Do you know what that's about? Yeah.
RAYFORD: Order in the courtroom. BAILIFF: Do what I say.
Sweetheart, give him the pictures.
And ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
Look at that. Ha, ha, ha.
Why don't you ease up on the judge?
Were you in love? No.
Mr. Kirkland...
So he pleads guilty even though he's innocent.
Here. No, wait, wait, wait.
wanted in Alabama for assault with a deadly weapon.
So, uh, what's new? Heh, heh.
who are willing to believe that I'm innocent. Not five of them.
Centerfold. Lawyer of the Month.
Why would she lie?
No. Not at all.
And I fully intend to have that proven in a court of law.
Put that thing away. What's going on?
Patient?
I don't pretend to be a voice of authority.
Will you take a lie-detector test?
[SIGHS]
On the basis of this report,
Will the defendant please rise?
Your Honor, Mr. Foreman,
No, he doesn't drink. Doesn't drink at all.
Arthur.
Oh, they're just having some fun with him, that's all.
from a lot of corrupt lawyers, is what we're doing.
Why me, fellas? Come on.