Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

"Fascism". Wonderful.

Eh That weren’t me

He’s fuck ugly

No luck catching those bugs then? It's just the one bug actually...

- Listen, mate, I... - Her dad's funeral.

No luck finding them parts then? It's just the one part actually.

I'd need something conclusive.

No, it's just a lot of junk.

It's a bit of a blind spot, I'm afraid.

We are going to be up to our balls in jugglers

he’d probably kill himself all over again

Why were you there?

I could do with a walk.

“Oooh sleeptoken will be terrible Change the fucking record

Oh Reuben, Reuben, Reuben Change The Fucking Record!

Hang about, hang about. You’re saying this wasn’t an accident?

You know how it is. News travels fast.

And I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with me.

That's me after a couple of pints.

- Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand? - Still a bit stiff.

Antisemitism - change the f&@king record

Can I get cell four open, please?

Well, we should get a proper cordon off, screen the remains from public view.

and advanced cycling.

Spends his whole life devoted to closing borders

Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer. But I've seen this before.

- Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra. - She's a police officer.

Can't say i remember no at attin

I dunno.... pub

Yes sir, Why is everyone eating cake? ah, the black forest gateux is on Scott for his little misconfiguration

The Black Forest gateau is on Andy as punishment for his little in discretion

There's a reason we accommodate a few of the younglings at the pub.

What did he say?

"Nicholas Angel."

Murder Murder Murder

Your a Cleric Deal with it!

Yeah, the way we see it, it's all for the greater good.

I’m going to need some ice cream

Another Cranberry Juice

When a company replaces a human with AI.

- Tom? - Thanks, Joyce.

I hope you're not planning on driving that.

Super Cow the cow that can't be stopped

Or for that matter, stage a car crash?

You Got Brain-Freeze? No, I Got Brainwave.

PUSHED OFF A WALL?!?! MURDER, MURDER, MURDER. CHANGE THE FUCKING RECORD

They listed her age as 55. When I'm actually 53.

you’re an anarchist? I think I have a cream for that

I kind of like it here.

Not when we had two semi-professionals waiting in the wings.

- This is a rifle range. - You'll be really good at it.

You'll put us all out of a job.

- I was hoping to check in. - Check in?

Yeah, you wanna be a big cow in a small town, fuck off up the model village

To this day holds the Met record for the 100 meter dash.

Janine used to say I love my Lily more than I loved her.

more in keeping with the village's rustic esthetic.

no luck catching them solars then? it's just the one solar, actually

He says, "He reckons you got something there."

No luck catching them Caterpillars, then?

Callum Cochran is a fucking rapist

NO LUCK CATCHING THEM KILLERS THEN?

Is anything I've told you in the last two weeks

It's just the one swan, actually...

Michael, will you escort the Sergeant off the premises when he's quite finished?

"You do not have to say anything, however it may harm your defense

You're saying this wasn't an accident?

"For never was there a story of more woe. Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

Take out all the little people, you get to waltz off with the cuddly monkey.

Attended Hendon College of Police Training.

It’s all about the Greater Good.

Use your brain.

yes beryl bunsenburnererette? what do you want? i want to do some cirksnokasene yolkrenterette in cape york.

Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. A quick word?

"Evil old woman considered frightful or ugly. " It's 12 down.

I don't think that's a good idea. Do you?

Hello, Miss Tiller.

You don't know how to switch off!

Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure and Mrs. Blower has four alibis.

- No luck catching them killers, then? - It's just the one killer, actually.

Like in the films.

This shit just got real.

Hopefully we won't see too much of each other over the coming months.

So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,

Cause you did it with a plant?

It's just the one cat, actually

Actually, there's something I need to tell you.

My, he is tenacious, isn't he?

- Yes, sir, of course. - And there's a spare for Danny, too.

They're nippers, Tom. They'll come round.

- Stealing biscuits is wrong? - Correct.

- What's your name? - Aaron A. Aaronson.

Are you saying this is a crime scene?

- Is there anything I can do for you? - No.

Twenty-second of February.

Shouldn't that be "drink to their memories"?

Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

- He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket. - Good.

Do you have a license for that oscilloscope?

nazis nazis nazis, change the fucking record

Jeremy Renner was run over by his own snow plough

Well, I remembered something else you said and all.

I'll tell them you'll ring them back.

I'm afraid my nickname of Sissy is only a revelation to yourself.

I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.

- Why are you dressed like a police officer? - Because I am one.

Yes, well, guilty people often make the first move.

- The inebriate in cell four. - I don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.

I was thinking of a different shop

Sergeant Angel?

It's hardly in keeping with the village's rustic esthetic, is it?

I'm sure the store's security footage will absolve me.

- You must be Sergeant Angel. - Yes, I am.

Dad says he’s got a child’s mind

Pack it in Toto you silly bastard

What absolute horse****.

Want anything from the shop?

No luck finding that best man then?

but the fact is, you've been making us all look bad

Marcus Carter's big brother said he'd fingered her up the duck pond.

That's just grossly inappropriate.

Stay back! Or the ginger nut gets it!

- Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare. - What?

I too have reason to believe she favors the older gent.

- Danny, let's rock. - Angel!

No luck finding them books, then?

I'm not made of eyes.

COOK ANY FOOLS?

- What year? - Every year.

It's alright, Andy. It's just onions and mustard!

No luck finding those subs then It's just the one sub actually

Graffiti? They've gotta be dealt with, Frank.

Want anything from the shop?

If you had paid attention to me in school,

He sounds like a good bloke.

No luck finding That big plug then

Lock me up I’m criminally horny and i must be stopped

With respect, sir,

Pack it in, Collins, you silly bastard!

Hey, why can't we say "accident" again?

You're counterclaim's dismissed! Because you were caught smoking! she'd have to leave if she brought pets and smoked in the apartment she was renting that I own you see I--- No! Make your mind up pets or smoking? you can't have both. Which one do you want?

Your predecessor assumed that commissioning was easy

Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.

They listed her messages as 55 When I’m actually 53

I'll make sure everyone gets their just desserts

There hasn't been a recorded murder in Thorton-le-Dale for 20 years

Hang about, hang about.

- What exactly did you have in mind? - I don't know. Pub?

Which one do you think I'll prefer?

Yeah work events happen all the time what makes you think it was a party

geographical location shouldn't factor in the application of the law.

Something you don’t have A great big bushy beard

'Cause we sat through three hours of so-called acting last night,

Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.

Pack it in Jack You Silly Bastard

Absolute HOrseshit

What's that sir? a great bushy beard!

My pens runnin' ut

Whats your name? Chris C Crisps

- And we both know who with. - Eve Draper.

My bladder’s runnin’ out.

I could've given you the tour. I've been round the station a few times.

Well, I haven't held a firearm for over two years, Mr. Reaper.

- Do I have any choice in this? - No.

you can get a little lost...

No luck catching those pumpkin heads then Its just the one pumpkin head actually

Up to our balls

And then I said, "Playtime's over," and I hit him with the Peace Lily.

ANOTHER CRANBERRY JUICE?

Now, despite my comments about "beheading" customers,

Still feel like you're missing out?

but the fact is, you've been making us all look bad.